Thursday, January 10, 2013

Shocking News! 
ANTS GO MARCHING ONE BY ONE LITTLE ONE STOPS TO SHOOT A GUN!!! 

A familiar tragic scene was played out in south Peoria when an ant freedom march went awry , and a young member of the march (Antoine Johnston) stopped to fire off  an AK 47 in an angry protest.

The march began about 9:00 P.M. at the corner of  Adam and Hill to shed light on the problem of bigotry and ant abuse in the local community.

The ants walked single file to illustrate that every ant is an individual and has the same rights and freedoms as all Americans.

"We wanted this to be as peaceful as possible," said a spokesman for the A.N.T.S.F. F. organization. ( The acronym stands for "Ants Not Too Small For Freedom")

"We put all the adult ants through the metal detector, but did not expect a little "maggot" to be packin' a piece; especially an AK47,"  said Chief Settingsgard of the Peoria Police Dept. 

Eye witnesses heard the antling yell, "I'm tired of being stepped on, death to the GIANTS," right before he open fired, or is that opened fire? I don't know.

Antshanekkia  Johnston, the young shooters mother,  said she was totally unaware that her son even owned a gun; "especially an AK 47," she said, " He's a good boy. He always bringin' things home for his momma, givin' me money, jewelry, laptops, and such as that."

One of the marchers was a "pupa counselor" at the "Antfarm," a rural getaway for dysfunctional little ants like little Antoine, who related this to me; "Being an ant growing up on the mean streets of Peoria is no picnic. Sometimes the little maggots never crawl out of their hole, and if they do, they turn to grass, ass, and guns."

The A.N.T.S.F.F.  group is planning on another march in, uh, March (minus Antoine), and for safety sake will be marching seven by seven. Heaven help them!


By the way, less than a dozen humans were killed or injured. Not bad , considering the history of these events.