FAN FRIDAY

I am a huge fan of "pay at the pump!"

In fact, I think "pay at the pump" is the greatest idea since those pull off can lids that eliminate the need for a can opener.

Paying inside is a total nightmare for me!

Have you ever noticed there are a lot of people who have no clue about what is going on around them?

Their kids are screaming bloody murder and they can't hear them, they never see caution signs or rules signs, like when they say "ENTER HERE" or "WET FLOOR."

Those people are ALWAYS in front of me when I go inside the little gas mart to pay for my gas!

All I want to do is pay for my gas, and invariably, everyone in front of me wants to do a dozen other things beside paying for their gas!

In addition, even though the gas mart has two cash registers, there is NEVER two cashiers, and the line is so long it goes back to the soft drink bar where folks are pushing and shoving trying to dispense their 89 ounce "polar pop" that they spill on my white sneakers!

The cashier is either new, too old to see and hear, or just plain dumb! 

This is when the real torture begins!

The first person in line pays for his or her gas, but then wants cigarettes, but not simply a pack of good old fashioned Pall Malls.

This person is very, very picky, and wants a pack of cigarettes that the cashier has never heard of in all of her 2 days of working there.

The rookie cashier looks and looks for about 10 minutes and can't find the elusive cigarettes.

The customer insists she has bought the mysterious cigs there before, and goes back behind the counter to locate them herself.

After another 10 minutes she remembers she had bought them at the Quicky Mart across town, and she laughs and laughs without even realizing the line has now doubled in size!

As for me, I just want to pay for my gas.

The next person pays cash for her gas, and has a deep desire to come up with the exact change for some unknown reason.

She digs and digs in the deepest, darkest regions of her purse and comes up with a quarter, two dimes, a nickle, and she then counts out, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven pennies," with a broad smile on her face, like she won the lottery!

Speaking of the lottery, the next dude wants LOTTERY TICKETS! The lottery ticket buyers are the absolute worst! 

They aren't satisfied with a regular, take your chances ticket. They buy multiple kinds of tickets, and have their special lucky numbers for each one. 

This takes 20 minutes...minimum!

After that is the mom with 7 dirty kids, who are destroying the gas mart, opening up the Twinkies, and yelling at the top of their lungs!

The mom is yelling back at them while holding her crying baby, and trying to buy a DIFFERENT brand of rare cigarettes that the cashier can't find!

Of course, I could go on and on about each individual customer, with his or her extra special needs and desires, but we ain't got forever!

"Pay at the pump" has totally freed me from this nightmarish experience.

I quietly slide my card, happily pump my gas, and quickly drive away.

How wonderfully glorious!

Whoever it was that created "pay at the pump," thank you from the bottom of my heart! I could kiss you!

I hope it was a "hot chick" inventor!