SATURDAY MORNING POST

 ALIEN SPACESHIP LANDS ATOP THE 12TH FLOOR OF THE OLD JEFFERSON BUILDING IN PEORIA, ILLINOIS TO LISTEN TO GREG AND DAN SHOW'S NEW JAMAICAN JINGLE... AND EMULSIFICATE THEMSELVES FROM LAUGHTER

Don't ask what emulsificate means...you don't want to know!

INFAMOUS ANTHONY WIENER TIRED OF PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF HIS NAME, AND CHANGES IT TO PETER WINGDINGER

OBAMA DECIDES TO FINALLY BUILD A FENCE ALL ALONG THE MEXICAN BORDER...TO KEEP AMERICANS FROM FLEEING TO MEXICO

RUSSIAN'S WILL NOT 

HAND OVER EDWARD SNOWDEN 

FOR FEAR OF 

AMERICANS TORTURING HIM OR 

PUTTING HIM TO DEATH, WHEN 

THEY WOULD BE  PERFECTLY 

HAPPY TO DO THIS THEMSELVES

PUTIN...NOW THERE'S A GUY YOU CAN TRUST...NOT!!