Wednesday, August 5, 2015

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

A super eerie noise was coming from the dressing room closet of Gounderus, the great, universal comedian, who has performed for all the Crown Princes of Europia and beyond, yond, yond (this is an echoing sound), yond yond!!

No one can watch this without laughing!


Gounderus - "Who dat?"

Mysterious Creature In The Closet - "Who DAT?"

Gounderus - "Who dat say "who dat" when I say who dat?"

At that precise moment, the closet door swings open, and the face of the "mysterious creature" is revealed...It is...
Play this for dramatic effect!

BIG GAZ!!!



Prophet, sooth sayer, prognosticator, foreteller of events, sage, parsley, and not a bad Sean Connery replicator!! 



Gounderus - "Gig Baz...I mean Big Gaz... is it really YOU?" 

Big Gaz - "What do you think, mate?"

Gounderus - "Well, it looks like you, and sounds like you, and you said mate, but I need a little more Aussie talk to be sure!" 

Big Gaz - "Onya, mate! I tooks me kangaroo to the Aborigine outback walkabout, and founds me a didgeridoo, rot in the middle of a billabong, where a dingo was plyin' with a kwala, and a wallaby was bein' ate by a croc!"



Gounderus - "It IS you, Big Gaz!"

Big Gaz - "Not really, Mate! I'm a flippin' "hollow graham"...kind of like a T.V. image without all the electronical parts!"


Gounderus - "Don't you mean a hologram?"

Big Gaz - "That's what I just said!!"

Gounderus - "Anyway...do you have a prophetic message for me, to guide me to more fame and fortune?"

Big Gaz - " Yeah...uh...I do, mate...I do! Um...let me see...Those who lose dreaming are lost!"

Gounderus - "That's it? That wasn't prophetic! That sounded like an ancient Aboriginal proverb!"

Big Gaz - "That's all I got for ya, sook! Gidday!"

At that, the hologram instantly dissipates into the vast blackness of outer spaze! 



Gounderus - "What a silly dude! Big Gaz hologramed himself all the way from the planet Earth to give me a nonsensical Aboriginal proverb. Ha! What a laugh! How can someone lose dreaming? EVERYBODY dreams! Furthermore, I NEVER get lost! I'm like a walking UPS System! (Universal Positioning System)
"Hey...wait a second...maybe this is all a dream! I'll stick my head out of this porthole, into the oxygenless, vast, blackness of spaze to see if I'm dreaming. If I can still breathe, I'll know I'm dreaming, if I CAN'T breathe, I'll know I'm awake! Ha! Why does everyone say I'm so dumb?"

Goundy proceeds to open the porthole, and then stick his head out into the endless, oxygen free, black, vastness of outer spaze....

Here is the result!!!

Gounderus quickly pulls his head back inside the floating, outer spaze theatre! 

Gounderus - (Gasping for precious air) Now...(gasp)...that...(gasp, gasp)...was...(gasp, gasp, gasp)...stu...(gasp, gasp)...pid...(cough, cough...gasp...gasp)...at least...(gasp)...I know...(gasp)...I'm...(gasp, cough)...not....(cough, cough)...dreaming...

The phone starts playing it's special ringtone...

Goundy answers the phone...

Gounderus - "Gounderus The Great here! How may I help you?

Rhymesauce - "Hey, this is Rhymesauce, I was reading the blog, and decided to do a rhyme about it!"

Gounderus - "Cool! I haven't seen you since we were enslaved in the pupunite mines, on the planet Zaddy-Oh! Okay, lay on the rappin', buddy!

Rhymesauce begins to rap...

"Out World Wednesday, mysterious creatures,
Rosie and Gary, Fearless Leaders,
Glirkazoids, Gounderus, Gazza, Rhymesauce,
Floating theatre, take a spazewalk,
Porthole poppin', Aussie speech,
Ancient proverb, Tryin' to teach!"

Gounderus - "That was awesome, Rhymesauce, but I gotta get ready for my show now. Taa!"

The scene now segues from Goundy, telling jokes to the mirror, to a burning desert on a far away planet in the Celexa galaxy, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down a gigantic rebel worm (like the ones in Dune) that has swallowed the whole province of Kia Lambourghini! 

Rosie - "We need to hurry, Gary, before the humongous, rebel worm digests the entire population of Kia Lambourghini...but how do we find the hideous creature?"

Gary - "Elementary, my dear, Rosie! To catch a worm, you need to think like a worm!"

Rosie - "That should be easy for you, my little green friend."

Gary - "What was that?!"

Rosie - "I said, what a brilliant idea, my genius, guru Glirkazoid guy!" (chortle, chortle)

Gary - "Now, if I were a worm, I would go...uh...uh..."

Rosie - "Under the ground?"

Gary - "I'd go under the ground! Eureka! I figured it out! Now, exactly, where under the ground would I go?"

Rosie - "Since this is the desert, I would think near a body of water, in an oasis."

Gary - "Rosie, would you PLEASE be quiet for a second, and let me think like a worm! Worms need water, don't they?"

Rosie - "Yee-esss?"

Gary - "And the only water in the desert is found in an oasis, right, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh...riiiight?"

Gary - "Soooo, I have cleverly deduced that the gynormous rebel worm must be under the ground, near the water, in that oasis off in the distance!"

Rosie - "Bravo, Sherlock! You done, done it again!! (chortle) (a chortle is a breathy, gleeful laugh, or chuckle)

Gary - "Let that worm try to wiggle away now, we will hook that monster in short order!"



Rosie - "Oh, good grief!! 

What's going on? We seem to be focusing in on two totally different stories, that have no possible connection! Are we in some kinda bizarro world or something? 

Gounderus has achieved his dream of becoming a big time comedian, so what's with all the weird messages for him?

What does Rosie and Gary chasing around an enormous worm have to do with Gounderus, a billion light years away? 

If you're even an eensy bit curious...join us next week for...