Read This Blog If You Want To Live

We ALL remember that cool line from The Terminator movies, don't we?

Arnold (Terminator) holds out his mighty hand to Linda Hamilton (Sarah Conner) and says, "Come with me if you want to live."

Okay, she had a real conundrum goin' on here. Should she go with the dude who seriously tried to kill her in the past, or stay where she was and get kilt by someone or someTHING else!

Ponder that for a while. 

Enough pondering! 

Most of you are wondering, I perceive, how reading this blog will help you survive, right? Right?

It won't. I just used that make believe movie jargon type title, to once again lure you all into my web of all things ridiculous and nonsensical.

If that's wrong...then I don't wanna be right!!

The most important thing we need to discuss is that NEW UFO sighting over New Mexico!! 

Click link below for details..↓

https://www.forbes.com/sites/suzannerowankelleher/2021/02/25/faa-cant-explain-pilots-ufo-sighting-last-weekend-over-new-mexico/?sh=68da79b049e1

We can't help but be concerned over the vast amounts of UFO encounters of the 1st kind in recent months.

A close encounter occurs within 500 feet of an observer. In a close encounter of the first kind a UFO is seen but no interaction with the environment is observed. In the second kind, physical effects are observed like vegetation being pressed down or tree branches being broken. In the third kind, the presence of "occupants" in or about the UFO is reported.

If you are worried, then READ THIS BLOG IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!

Looks as if we've come full circle...like Jen Psaki! 

1. You'll need gobs of tin foil. Aliens may be able to penetrate titanium, but NOT TIN FOIL!

2. Don't look up at the night sky. The UFO crew can suck out your diminutive brains!! (by their standards)

3. Nay say a negative word about invaders from space, monsters, greys or grays, mutilation, abduction, or Jimmy Carter! Lest you be singled out as a rebellious lout by these horrible creatures. 

lout

/lout/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. an uncouth and aggressive man or boy.

   "drunken louts"

   Similar:

   ruffian

   hooligan

   thug

   boor

   oaf

   hoodlum

   rowdy

   bully boy

4. Eat tons of Milky Way candy bars for more protection of your fragile bodies! Milky Way bars are in reality, prophylactics against alien death rays...created by a turn of the century (20th century) scientist, Frank C. Mars! Get it? Mars? Milky Way...GALAXY? Come on! That is NOT a coincidence, folks!!! 

In conclusion, I surmise you now, FULLY understand how reading this blog is a life saving measure!!

You're velcome!!

A husband and wife were flying to Hawaii on vacation.

The wife insisted that the state is pronounced HaWaii, while the husband believed it is pronounced HaVaii.

As they departed the plane, they saw a dark skinned man greeting the passengers by putting a leis around each person's neck.

The husband asked the greeter, "How do you pronounce the name of this state?"

The greeter said, "Havaii."

The man smirked at his wife, then told the greeter, "thank you!"

The greeter replied, "you're velcome!!

Monday 39, Wednesday 8...WHY?

 I've been sitting here, racking my diminutive brain, in search of the answer of this confounded question...

Why did I get 39 views on my ordinary blog on Monday, but only 8 views on my special, exciting, fascinating Out Of This World Wednesday blog on Wednesday? (yesterday)

I don't know, so you guys and gals need to tell me, if you have a little tom.

1. You hate comical sci-fi?

2. You hate sci-fi, period?

3. You are soooo busy on Wednesdays?

4. You are afraid of Glirkazoids?

5. You are plagued with spaze sickness?

6. You are afraid of what the future holds for the entire universe?

7. Rosie and Gary argue too much?

8. You are soooo distracted on Wednesdays? (I think I already kinda asked that)

9. It is a recurring Facebook glitch that happens every Wednesday, which blocks my blog?

10. All of the above?

Anyway, the whole point of this is that I wrote a good OOTWW blog yesterday, featuring the righteous, reigning writer of rhyme, Rhymesauce, and few saw it!

So, PLEASE take a little tom to check it out. 

I thin you'll like it!

I'll do the thinnin around here, Baba Looey!

Out Of This World Wednesday...... Sage Advice From Rhymesauce!

As our great and goofy galaxy gallivanters glide gloriously and gleefully through gobs of gigantic star groups, Rosie and Gary make up a traditional "mission song" to pass the time.

♪♪We're goin' to Z70 to stop the nasty litter, 

And turn them into super-goats, ♪

♪Although they may be bitter,

They'll eat up all the yucky trash,

♪And then we'll change them back,

Into their original forms,

But then they may attack! ♪♪

This is sung to the tune of  "Clancy Lowered The Boom."

Just in case you don't know this classic, iconic song.

♪♪ Oh our arrival, will will mean survival,

Whenever a civilization sucks, 

Glirkazoids lower the boom boom boom boom! ♪♪

Rosie - "I like the tune, but the lyrics you wrote really SUCK, Gary!"

Gary - "Exactly, Rosie!! A sucky song for a Z70 population who suck, due to the fact they are destroying their own planet with mountains of ugly, smelly, bacteria laden litter!"

At that precise moment, a bright flash of light pops on to the Silver Sausage poop deck, and as Gary and Rosie's large eyes adjust to the sun-like luminosity, they hear a familiar voice...

Rhymesauce - "Litter on Z70, lack of levity, planet dying, creatures crying, Glirkazoid serendipity, alien synchronicity,  Capra aegagrus hircus, regeneration circus, retaliation imminent, battle in the firmament."

Instantly, the time travelin', dimension crossing, "sage of spaze," pops out as quickly as he popped in!

This is NOT Rhymesauce, he's too fast to capture on camera.

Chihuahua! What the heck was THAT all about?

A foretelling of future facts?

Just a cameo from the poet laureate of the 21st century, to lure more readers to Out Of This World Wednesday?

How will you ever know?

I reckon you'll have to join us for the next episode of...

Link to Rhymesauce's brilliant YouTube page...https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChfpEGCHu9njv2GNQG5sAcA

 Melting Monday! Oh, Joy!

How many of you remember the Wicked Witch Of The West, melting?

Well, sure you do. One of the coolest scenes from The Wizard Of Oz! 

Okay, then, that's what all of our snow is saying today. "I'm melting...I'm melting..."

With temps climbing WAY up in the 40's today, the snow will soon go the way of the Wicked Witch Of The West! Excellent!!!

Not that I ever go out in the snow and cold anymore, 'cause I don't hafta, but JUST IN CASE I would ever need to go out, it's comforting to know we won't be slip-sliding all over the place.

I may even do my semi-annual car washing on the morrow, when it's 49 degrees Fahrenheit! 

Although, with the ugly, filthy, nasty, melting snow getting all splashed up onto my car, I may need to put it off until June. 

Tom will tell...you about reverse mortgages, now.

Just kidding!

Chevy with his winter coat, ready for a walk.

Our wittle Chorkie, Chevy, thinks we have been punishing him for the last couple of weeks, because we are not taking him out on his precious walks in 20 below wind chills and with snow over his wittle head. 

Soon, that will be a faded memory in his wittle doggie brain, and he will TOTALLY forgive us for our unintended doggie abuse...because that's what dogs do.

If only human beans could be as forgiving as our canine friends. 

My goal today (and you thought I had no goals, right?) is to make this "melting Monday" the best it can possibly be for one and all! 

I know this don't fit...or does it?

 Friday's Blog On Saturday?!!!

You are all probably thinkin' I forgot to do Friday's blog yesterday, and normally you'd be correctomundo, but I actually had something to do for a change, that preempted my legendary, Friday blog. 

Therefore, I'm doin' Friday's blog on Saturday, so you peoples won't be found wanting before the weekend rides off into the sunset...metaphorically speaking. 

It's on these cold, wintry, cloudy, semi-chocolate, listless days, that I think about picking up my dusty old Yamaha acoustic guitar and playing some of them dusty ole tunes I used to strum back in my ole hippy dippy days, just to pass the ole tom. 

Then I think, my poor ole hands don't have much feeling in them anymore, my ole fingers are weaker than rubber bands (not big, THICK rubber bands, but those little thin rubber bands that they wrap around a flyer to put on your door handle), and my ole mind can't merember how to form the ole cords!

So, that's out.

Then my always searching brain travels to a distant plain, where I believe I can still dance, like when I came in second in that twist contest, with Janice Puckett, in the 7th grade. 

Alas, when I make that deep, suffering, groaning sound trying to rise up out of the recliner, I proclaim...

That's out. 

On the other hand, there are still thousands of thangs I can STILL do fairly well! 

Here's a list....

1. Shave...but I can't see my face very well without my glasses, and I ain't wearin' glasses when I shave! You gotta draw the line somewhere! 

2. Walk Chevy dog...Very S-L-O-W-L-Y...to the point that Chevy turns around and looks at me, and says, "REALLY?"

3. Tell jokes....however, I really have to think if I've told that joke to that specific person...no matter...if I have, they will always stop me before I get to the punch line...as if I could ever remember the punch line. 

4. Sing...although singing at church is out for now, due to "the plague," and honestly, I can't sing as well as I could when I was 19, but I'm serendipitously surprised that I can still croak out a few notes at 170 years old! 

serendipity Add to list Share

If you find good things without looking for them, serendipity — unexpected good luck — has brought them to you.

Serendipity does not come from Latin or Greek, but rather was created by a British nobleman in the mid 1700s from an ancient Persian fairy tale. The meaning of the word, good luck in finding valuable things unintentionally, refers to the fairy tale characters who were always making discoveries through chance. You can thank serendipity if you find a pencil at an empty desk just as you walk into an exam and realize that you forgot yours.

I have always promised myself that I would never perform a song after I realize I can't "cut the mustard" anymore, however, I think I'm already beyond that point, and don't realize it! What a conundrum!! 

co·nun·drum

/kəˈnəndrəm/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. a confusing and difficult problem or question.

   "one of the most difficult conundrums for the experts"
2. 
   

Okay, now that I see the definition, maybe it's not a conundrum. Maybe just a protracted senior moment. 

Where was I? 

Oh, well, have a super Friday! Even if it's Saturday!!!