Wednesday, January 27, 2016

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY


As the Silver Sausage Spazeship makes it's way across the universe...one of my favorite Beatles songs...

I like this "outtake" version!

to recue the Glirkazoidian captives, they are visited by Big Gaz...prognosticator, soothsayer, sage, parsley, all knowing, all seeing, predictor, prenatal, aboriginal man of all trades, master of some!

However, he doesn't beam in like most visitors. Oh, no! He seeps in, like a fine mist, and then forms himself together into a big, giant head, like the Wizard of Oz, but without the fire.

Rumor has it that Big Gaz is from a place called OZ. No one really knows.

Big Gaz speaks in his strange, almost indecipherable language..."Gadday, mites! Ows it angin, ya bloody bloke and sheila!"

Rosie - "Nothing hanging here, Big Gaz, but would you please speak in Glirkazoidian so we can understand you better?" 

Big Gaz - "Onya, mate! I mean, okay "sugar bunny!" Is that better?"

Rosie - "Wow! You even know the Glirkazoid "street language"...very impressive!"

Gary - "Watch who you're callin' sugar bunny, Big Gaz! She's my g..., I mean, uh...GREAT spaze companion!" 

Gig Gaz - "I get it, buddy, (winks at Gary) you don't want Big Gaz hornin' in on your squeeze, huh?" 

Gary - "She's not my "squeeze," Big Gaz! I've NEVER laid a hand on her!"

Big Gaz - "Don't forget, stud, Big Gaz is ALL KNOWING and ALL SEEING!"

Rosie - "Come on, guys! Cut the crap, and let's get to what Big Gaz wants to tell us!"

Big Gaz - "Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Guess the identity of the two captives you're about to rescue!" 

Gary - "It's gotta be two of the Supreme Glirkheads, right?"

Big Gaz - "El no no!"

Rosie - "The presidents of Glirka, Glarrock and Glichelle Oglama?"

Big Gaz - "Nada, no way! Give up?"

Rosie and Gary - "Yeah, we give up."

Big Gaz - "Okay, it's none other than both of your parents, Greg and Rita! I'm so sorry!"

Rosie and Gary look at each other...and then begin to laugh their arses off! (Glirkazoids LITERALLY laugh their arses off, but then they grow back the next day)

Gary - "My dad? Ha ha ha ha, oh, the poor kidnapper, that old fart will drive Lord Demonica up a wall!"

Rosie - "Hee hee, haw haw haw, my mom will give him a heart attack from stress and fear!!"

Big Gaz - "They can't be THAT bad, can they?"

Rosie - "I thought you were all knowing and seeing?"

Big Gaz - "Well...I'm kinda, MOSTLY all knowing and seeing, but nobody's perfect!"

We are now transported to the uncomfortable planet of Anti-Morpheus...

Anti-Morpheus...a planet so uncomfortable that no one can sleep!


Lord Demonica - "When will Rosie and Gary show up to rescue these stubborn old Glirkazoids?!! They are driving me INSANE!!

The ugly Lord Demonica


Greg - "Hey, Demmy! Turn up the heat! It's like an ice box in this tiny cell!"

Lord Demonica - "Stop calling me Demmy! It sounds like dummy! Address me as Lord Demonica!"

Greg - "Sure thing, Demmy! You know, if you were any uglier, I'd puke! "Speaking of puking, what kind of slop are you feeding us in here? It tastes like Pigillion Poop!"



Rita - "That's not all, you goat headed moron, this place stinks like the Rancid Sea Of Mucus, on the planet of Phartz!"



Lord Demonica - "Be silent! Don't you know I could destroy you in a nano second?!"

Rosie - "Yes, you could, but we also realize you ain't gonna, because we're no good to you dead!
You're using us as bait, to lure in our kids, so you can ambush and murderize THEM, you big COWARD!!"

Lord Demonica - (Places his claw-like hands over his ears) "Shut up!! Shut up!! I pity Gary and Rosie for having abominable parents like you two!!
I'm releasing you at once! Go away, be gone! Aye yi yi, you've given me such a headache!!"

Back aboard the Silver Sausage...

Rosie - "Look, Gary! We just received a message from my mom and your dad.
"Lord Demonica released them, and they are headed back to Glirka."

Gary - "Took him long enough! Were they able to swipe the plans to all of Lord Demonica's weapons systems?"

Rosie - "Right from under his... I was gonna say nose, but he really only has an ugly hole."

Gary - "Ha! I'm so proud of them! 
They still got it!!"


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

I can only imagine how all of you billions of fans of this world  renown blog have been "chomping at the bit" to find out who the mysterious Glirkazoids are, who have been captured by the butt ugly, Lord Of Demonica! 

I know this looks like a different Lord Of Demonica from last week...but he's a shapeshifter!

Alas, I ain't gonna tell ya until the end of today's blog, to build up suspense, like Alfred Hitchcock! 

Good evening!

 Gary - " Leave us go over our check list, before we fire up the Silver Sausage Spazeship to rescue the mysterious captives on the mysterious, uncomfortable planet of Anti-Morpheus."

It really looks uncomfortable, don't it?


Rosie - "Roger Wilco!"



Gary - "Who?"

Rosie - "Never mind. Just go over the check list of the things we're gonna need for the mission!"

Gary - "Righteo, Rosie! Let's do it! Okay...one super emulsificator weapon."

(Rosie begins grabbing each item off of shelves from the supply room and checking them off the list.)

Rosie - "Check...wait a sec!! Just ONE super emulsificator weapon?! What about me?"

Gary - "Ha ha ha, Rosie! Get serious! Everybody knows you are a dead shot with your LITTLE emulsificator weapon...


but there is no way you could handle a SUPER EMULSIFICATOR WEAPON...you're a GIRL!!"

SUPER EMULSIFICATOR WEAPON

Rosie - "Oh, REALLY? Do you want to arm wrestle me again, buster? I kicked your little green butt last time, in case you've forgotten!!" 



Gary - "Okay...TWO super emulsificator weapons!"

Rosie - "Check, and check!"

Gary - "One box of Quisp cereal."



Rosie - "Check!"

Gary - " Two kazoos."



Rosie - "To celebrate, IF we land on Anti-Morpheus without crash landing! Check!!

Gary - "One large can of Giant Praying Mantis repellent! 



Rosie - "A DEFINITE check from me, buddy!! They can be such a nuisance!"

Gary - "Two cloaks of invisibility."

Rosie - "I...umm...can't...uh...seem...to be able..."

Gary - "What's taking you so long, Rosie? I need two cloaks of invisibility! They are right on that bottom shelf!"

Rosie feels all around the shelf, but still can't locate the elusive cloaks.

Gary - "I'm WAAATING, Rosie! What's your probleemo?"

Rosie - "HOW IN THE UNIVERSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND CLOAKS OF INVISIBILITY, WHEN THEY ARE INVISIBLE, YOU BIG KNUCKLEHEAD!!!!"

Gary - (Rolling on the deck, larfing) "Ha ha ha ha ha, hee hee, hoo hoo!! We don't have any cloaks of invisibility, Rosie!! I just made that up, you silly goose!!
Rosie? Rosie?! Where'd ya go, girl?!! 

Rosie - "I'm standing right in front of you, idgit! We DO have cloaks of invisibility! I'm wearing one of them that I just found hanging on the transparent coat rack in the room of glass!" 

Examples of Cloaks of Invisibility

Gary - "Funny, I never saw them there."

Rosie - "Good grief! (Rosie heaves a great sigh) "Let's fire up the Silver Sausage and do some rescuin', before you drive me looney tunes!




Meanwhile, on the miserable, dark, uncomfortable planet of Anti-Morpheus, we slowly zoom in on the poor, innocent captives of the Lord Of Demonica.

We start making out their faces through the darkness of the small, smelly cell, and we discover that they are...


Play dramatic music if you dare!

GREG and RITA!!!

GARY'S DAD AND ROSIE'S MOM!!!

OH, MY! 

Feel free to join us next week for another exciting episode of Out Of This World WEDNESDAY!!!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY


The super-evil Lord Of Demonica has kidnapped two Glirkazoid citizens, and is holding them on the uncomfortable planet of Anti-Morpheus! 




Rosie and Gary have been summoned by the Supreme Glirkheads, to rescue the captives before the Lord Of Demonica tortures them with the dreaded "Reruns Of The View," torture! 




Gary - "Do you know where this Anti-Morpheus planet is located, Rosie?"

Rosie - "I don't need to know, Gary. The Silver Sausage is equipped with a UPS, or Universal Positioning System. I thought you knew that!"

Gary - "I did, but I've never used the cockadoodie thing! I fly by the seat of my pants, girl!"

Rosie - "NOW I know why we are always getting lost. You don't wear pants!"


Gary pantless!


Gary - "Rosie, if I wore pants, my belt would be over my mouth!"

Rosie - "I can see a definite benefit to that, gabby!"

Gary - "Well, I NEVER!"

We now interrupt this fascinating OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY for a special pronouncement...

The in-famous singer songwriter/former custodian has released a new, original song entitled, "Since You Stumbled Through My Door!" 

Make sure you take a listen, before we proceed...Thank you in advance! 

Rosie - "You never WHAT? You always say that, but don't tell me what you never did!!"

Gary - "It's just a figure of speech, Rosie...like "shiver me timbers," or "that dog don't hunt," or "yo mama!"

Rosie - "Yo GOOFY, Gary!! Now let's stop bickerin' and begin rescuin' the helpless victims, before they have to endure Joy Behar!" 

The scene now changes to a dark, dank little room, somewhere on the planet of Anti-Morpheus, where the two captives are bound, hand and foot, and forced to watch...(listen for the dramatic music)


         Click on the chipmunk for dramatic music.

the VIEW!!!!!!!

The door to the dark, dank room slowly begins to open, and in walks the super-ugly Lord Of Demonica...(more dramatic music)





Lord Of Demonica...One butt ugly dude!

Lord Of Demonica - (Larfs an evil larf)  Har, haw, haw, heeee!!!
Are you little Glirkazoids enjoying, chortle, chortle, The View!!!!!(He starts larfing an evil larf again)

As this vicious monster is laughing, we begin to focus in on the two captives, who are being mercilessly tortured...and...and...WE CAN'T BELIEVE WHO THEY ARE!!!!

Join us next week to find out, in OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!!



Wednesday, January 6, 2016

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The stillness of the translucent morning was broken by the sound of the wild grinosourus snorting through the underbush!


The two suns of Glirka were rising semi-opaquely, which caused a bright diffusion of the spectrum of light, that created a billion diverse colors on the bushy landscape of sector 9, where the Silver Sausage was bathed in a beauteous multi-colored blanket of light!





Our legendary super-hero, Rosie, peeked out of her perpendicular porthole to view the serendipitous sunrise that lifted her spirits as high as the mountains of Glimalayah. 


Rosie calls Gary's (our nuther legendary hero) sleeping quarters. What? NO! They do NOT sleep together! That would be against the Glirkazoid Military Code Of Conduct! 
Where was I? Oh, yes...Rosie calls Gary on the enter-comm...

Gary - (Still sleeping, but wakes up to the sound of his ringtone that sounds like this...)



Gary - "Hewwoe." (Gary is not a morning Glirkazoid, so it takes a while to get his tongue in gear) 



Rosie - "Gary!! Gaze out of your porthole and look at the glorious suns rise!!! It will make you feel like a billion pazoozas!!" (Pazoozas are Glirkazoid dollars)



Gary - "Weave me awone, Wosie! I was all night up, deflating a bumongous heast from a pig blanet, where all the greetures are very pig!"



Rosie - "Come on, dude! You've defeated big creatures from big planets a million times! Wake up and smell the coffee I just brewed!!"



With those magical words from Rosie, Gary jumps out of bed in a nano second, and Rosie slips him his cup of coffee as he's running to the "head!" (The"head" is the bathroom on a spazeship, or any ship)



Rosie - "Well, first things first, I guess. 

Gary - "Oh, Rosie! (Speaking from the "head")
This is so awesomely beautiful! Magnificent! Breathtaking!!"

Rosie - "How can you see the suns rise from the "head," Gary? There is no porthole in there!"

Gary - "Suns rise? I'm talking about my latest issue of Playdroid! Some of these droids are OUT OF THIS WORLD, HOT!!!" (A little self promotion here)

Rosie - "You need to stop reading that smut! "You know that can make you go blind, don't ya?"

Gary - "Oh, that's just a silly old fable! Ha ha ha...
ROSIE!!! I can't see!!!! Where are you, Rosie?!!!"

Rosie - "GARY! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" (Rosie rushes into the "head")

Gary - "Ha ha ha ha, har har hardy har har, hee hee hee...Just kidding, Rosie! I wanted you to come in here whilst I was naked, and you fell for it!!! Ho ho ha ha ha!!!"

Rosie - "Uh, Gary. You NEVER wear any clothes! You ain't got nothin' I haven't seen before, you  knucklehead!!"



 

Gary - "You've got a point there, Rosie!"

All of a sudden, a message begins to scroll across the top of the wall! It reads...An important message....from the Supreme Glirkheads... your next mission...if you decide to accept it...(that's an inside joke between our heroes and the Supreme Glirkheads, because Rosie and Gary have no choice in the matter) is to free two of your fellow Glirkazoids from the clutches of the evil Lord Of Demonica, who dwells on the horrible, dangerous planet of Anti-Morpheus...where no one ever sleeps, because it's so uncomfortable...Have a nice day! 

Oh, my! What a thrilling beginning to 2016's OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY! I'm excited...aren't you? Not even a little bit? Oh, well, come back next week, anyway! Just so I don't get depressed! Have a nice day!!