In Defense Of The Average 

Midwest American

I would be remiss if I did not mention the amazing support of my mediocre music on the super fantastic Greg And Dan Radio Extravaganza!! (I added the extravaganza part, 'cause it's true)

This morning they played my new song, "Average Midwest American," inspired, coincidentally, by the Greg And Dan Radio Extravaganza!! 
Link to Greg and Dan Show...https://www.1470wmbd.com/the-greg-dan-show/

I'll include the song at the end. Making you wait, builds up anticipation...or makes you cut me off, right about now. 

Are you still here? Good!!

The average Midwest American is totally misrepresented on T.V. shows, in movies, on the news, and EVERYWHERE!

We are misrepresented as straw chewin', under educated, beer guzzlin', intolerant, racist, misogynistic trailer trash, but that's only a tiny minority of my relatives.

The rest of us are pretty cool when it comes to the social mores of this 21st century, and other common acceptable behaviors.

For instance...

Midwest Steve - "You and I just finished this case of beer, ya want to start on another one?"

Midwest Bob - "Of course not! I don't want to come across as an average beer guzzlin' midwesterner !!"

Midwest Steve - "It's free."

Midwest Bob - "Don't mind if I do, buddy! Don't mind if I do?" (The average Midwest American has a tendency to repeat himself/herself from tom to tom) 

Tom who?! 

Midwest Hershel - " I hear them Mooslems are pretty much takin' over this area."

Midwest Buck - "Yeah. ain't it great! The prices and service at their mini marts/gas stations are Jim Dandy!! 

Midwest Junior - "I always have the last word with my wife!"

Midwest  Orville - "I know, same as me..YES Ma'am!!"

Midwest Verdell - "I'm coming out of the closet, Wilbur!"

Midwest Wilbur - "I never knew you were gay, Verdell, but I'm not one to judge."

Midwest Verdell - "No, you dumb cluck, Molly has made me sleep in the closet since I bumped into my old girlfriend on the street, and someone took a picture of her hugging me, and posted it on Facebook! After 3 months she's letting me come out!!

Serially folks, the average Midwest American is as diverse as the average Midwest African, or average Midwest Albanian, or average Midwest Australian, or average Midwest Californian Canadian!

Hey! What California denier posted this photo? 

So when you see all that stuff about us being rednecks, dumb Trump supporters, white supremicists, and part of the He Man Women Hater's Club...

Actual photo of He Man Women Hater's Club from the misogynistic Lil Rascals!

Don't believe it!!! Remember these true, enduring words...

Now...Ta-da da daaa...the song you've all been waiting for, that was graciously played on the Greg And Dan Radio Extravaganza this very morn'...