Wednesday, February 11, 2015

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY





Gary The Glirkazoid did not like walking very much. He would rather beam himself from one place to another, however, his Medical Duckter told him he needed to walk, if he wanted to live a few hundred thousand more years.


So, Gary was doin' some power walking in a lovely, wuded area, on his home planet of Glirka, when he spotted a little white glunny who seemed to be in quite a rush!




Glunny - (Looking at his watch) "Oh, my...I'm so late..." At that, he popped down a pothole, real quick-like!




Gary thought this was quite strange, especially since he never heard a glunny talk before...so he jumped down the pothole his own self, out of curiosity, and found himself in a farm house that was spinning in the middle of a tornado, that eventually landed with a thud, in a land called Odd! 






Sadly, the house landed on Puff The Magic Dragon, which REALLY ticked of Little Jackie Paper, who vowed revenge upon Gary, but it wasn't even Gary's fault! 




Rosie, The Good Witch Of The Norris, floated down in a bubble and explained everything to Jackie Paper, so he didn't emulsificate our cute little Gary The Glirkazoid.






A bunch of Glirkazoids, all dressed in Lederhosen, kept telling Gary to follow the Jello Licked Road until he finds a giant beans talk, where he should NOT climb it, but instead, chop it down to make Licken Chittle start proclaiming, "The skype is falling...the skype is falling!!"





Gary was not born on a turnip truck, so he did nothing of the sort. He would find Rocky and Bullwinkle, Chris Martin and Kris Kringle to dance and sing the "It's all about dat bass" song, which would magically whisk him back to where he's never been before! 







Dangerous spaze travel was like a wog in the park, compared to this super-surreal "trip" Gary was experiencing in this dysfunctional dimension! 

A Wog

And who should come around the corner but Jed Clampett, dragging Granny, who had been imbibing of her rheumatiz medicine...profusely! 



Gary had never seen these folgs on this side of the T.Z. screen, and he seemed to be hovering up above the "cement pond" on a flying Mr. Ed, who kept repeating, in that deep voice, "When I make a promise...I keep it...when I make a promise...I KEEP IT...



Gary... "Ha! What a larf! Promises, promises...I'm a fool for promises, promises!"



Then something took Gary's alien breath away, when he saw the same exact little carnival that used to come, once a year, to his home town of Glatoraideuropia, with the lighted glerris weal, tilt a glirl, glerry go ground, and all the food vendors and games of chance! 



Chihuahua, Gary was surprised when it all changed into the whole fleet of Jurillinginging war ships that he and Rosie had destroyed 75,000 epochs ago! 


Gary now finds himselve playing the part that Clen Gampbell (the horse shooter) played in True Grit (arguably my FAVORITE movie) with John Wayne in his memorable role as Cooster Rogburn! 



All this was starting to make NO sense, whatsoever, when Gary realized he was in the middle of a pretty, psycho-delic video that made him very hackey...



All of a sudden our beloved Glirkazoid hears Robert Plant singing...

Robert Plant - Gary! Gaaary? Can ya hear me, ya little green bloke? Gary!

At that, Gary sees Rosie leaning over him, slapping his face, and calling his name.

Rosie - Gary, you were REALLY out of it for a while! You were talking in your sleep, saying things like white glunnies, potholes, Jackie Paper, Rocky and Bullwinkle....

Gary - Oh, thank goodness! It was only a dream!

Rosie - It's all okay now, Gary! Now just relax for now. John Wayne will be riding in on Mr. Ed to take you to the Jello Licked Road to find the real Puff The Magic Dragon who was not pulverized with that house after all, and the Jurillinginging War Ships are itchin' to go to battle with us, after we listen to some A.C. D.C...



Gary - A.C. / D.C. ? You know I'm more of a Joni Mitchell fan!! 

Rosie - "Wake up, Gary!" 

Gary REALLY wakes up this tom. 

Gary - "Rosie, remind me to NOT eat White Castle Hamburgers before I go to bed anymore!" 

Rosie - "Will do, buddy!"