TRAVELIN' TUESDAY

Since it's Travelin' Tuesday I was gonna talk about some of my old cars from days of yore...mama...but who cares about my dumb English Ford that would vapor lock all the tom, and I had to buy a cold Coke to pour on the fuel pump so it would start again. (I think it might have been the fuel pump...but I'm not very mcCannibal)

English Ford 

I also failed my first driving test in that old English Ford, because I hadn't really got the hang of the stick shift, and I kept rolling backwards about half a block when the tester dude made me stop on a steep hill.

It was like, go up the steep hill, stop at the stop sign, roll backwards half a block, the car dies, go get a cold Coke, pour it on the fuel pump, start the car, drive back up the steep hill again, stop at the stop sign, roll backwards half a block...anyway, after about 3 times of doing this they decided to flunk me! 

I'm not gonna bore you talking about my Olds, Vista Cruiser, station wagon with the anti-theft hood, either, when the hood got bent somehow, and it would not open, so I had to carry a narrow pipe in the back of the wagon, to slip through a gap above the front grill, and forcefully pry the latch up before it would open. 

My Vista Cruiser was a little more beat up than this one!

This really was a blessing, because I was living in St. Louis, and already had two batteries stolen from my car before this safety feature was inadvertently installed.

I'm not going to tell you about the automatic foot washer in this car, because you'd just laugh at the fact that every time it rained, water would splash up through the rusted out floorboard on to my feet!

Hey, there's no law you have to wear shoes when driving...is there?!

Im too embarrassed to tell you I never had any money to repair my cars right away, so whenever the mufflers fell off, and the cars sounded louder than monster trucks, I had to keep a sharp eye out for cops, so I could lift my foot off the pedal and coast by them silently.

I would pray a cop wouldn't get behind me while I was going uphill!

I'm not going to admit that I had a Chevy Biscayne that was named Cheryl! (Absolutely true!)

However, it was named by the previous owner, my good friend, Rick Gieselman, and I kept the name when I bought the car from him.

I am NOT going to retell the story about the tom, Ronny Stevens and me drove Cheryl to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for spring break, and a kind hearted southern gentleman fixed her with a safety pin when she broke down. (Another unbelievable, but true story!)

I don't think you even want to hear about the mistake I made by buying a diesel powered Toyota!

It was awesome in the summer, but the diesel fuel would freeze in the winter when the temp was below zero, and I was 40 miles from any heat source!

There was a period of tom when I couldn't afford new tires, so I would buy used spare tires (for about 5 bucks a piece) that had no tread, and I'd be changing tires about twice a week.

It was a bad day when I had two tires blow at the same tom! (But I won't tell you about that today)

Now I don't want all of you guys feelin' sorry for me. The trials and tribulations we go through in our lives builds character!

That is so true!

Everyone thinks I'm a character!