Out Of This World Wednesday
Shapeshifting Stuff!
The powerful, sickening smell coming from Krug's lair is produced by bat flatulence, emitted from the "giant bats of the Mysterious Planet!" No, wait...not the Mysterious Planet...umm...the Secret Planet? No, that's not it. Let's see...the Forbidden Planet!! The FORBIDDEN PLANET! Yes! That's it! See? I can still remember a few things at 70 years old, tomorrow!
Rosie - "Why aren't you wearing your mask, Gary? Do you WANT to breathe in the awful stench of bat farts?"
Gary - "Ha! I don't need to wear a stinking mask! I was raised smelling bat farts, I was born in a cave full of bats! Bat farts, actually, bring fond memories to my olfactory senses."
Rosie - "You have memories in your olfactory senses? Never mind. Regulation 222-527, line 9, sub section 14 Z states..."A mask must be worn when entering the lair of Krug the Kruddy, to prevent the inhalation of debilitating bat flatulence."
All of a sudden, a little tiny mouse appears before our Glirkazoid spelunkers!
Gary takes out his silver hammer and smashes the little mouse into a little flat, road kill looking thing!
Rosie - "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GARY?!! Why did you smoosh that innocent little mouse?"
Gary - "You realize that Krug is a shapeshifter, and that could have been Krug, right? "
Rosie - "Yes, but when you kill a shapeshifter, he or she returns to his or her original form! That unfortunate mouse is still in mouse form, albeit flat as a pancake."
Gary - "Whoops! My bad. LOOK, ROSIE! Krug is running toward us!"
Gary whips out his mini phazer and prepares to fire!
Rosie makes a mighty leap, and knocks the phazer out of his hand!!
Rosie - "GARY! That's a puppy! Are you TOTALLY losing it!!"
Gary - "How did you know it wasn't Krug, mimicking a Beagle puppy?"
Rosie - "Because shapeshifters always display a telltale blue star on their left ear, and that Beagle definitely had NO blue star on his cute little floppy ear."
Kind of like this blue star, but smaller, and on left ear.
Gary - "Okay! I get it! So this creature in front of us is okay, right? There's no blue star on his left ear."
Rosie - "THAT'S KRUG, YOU IDIOT!!"
Gary - "But you said, shapeshifters have a blue star on their left ear, fibber!"
Rosie - "Not in their original form, numbskull! Only when they shift into ANOTHER form!!"
Gary - "It matters not now, anyways, Rosie! We need to defeat this terrifying Krug to stop him from doing all the bad things he do, or, I mean, does! For example..."
1. Removing toilet paper from stores all over the galaxy!
2. Stopping fun, games, sports and interplanetary travel!
3. Creating so much stink that millions are forced to wear masks in the dirty, polluted regions!
4. Not allowing folks to gather together, because he fears they will plot to destroy him!
Well, well, well...that's a deep subject!
How will Gary and Rosie eliminate this scourge on humanity and ET's alike?
Join us next week for another enlightening episode of...
