Bloggadocious 222: 03/11/15

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gopp, The Magnificent, is explaining the secret, next to impossible, mission that our favorite Glirkazoids, Rosie and Gary, are about to embark upon.

Little do they know, a mysterious figure is listening to every worm out of his mouse, whilst hiding behind a great big stalactite, or is it a stalagmite? What's the diff?

The super horrifying, mystery creature was planning on pouncing on our heroes right away, but then changed his mom, and decided to follow them on their mission, to see what rewards it may bring! The creature begins to laugh within himself, or HERself (it's not easy to discern the sex of this abnormal, disgusting lifeform)..."Hee hee hee hee, hoo hoo, chortle, chortle chortle," but then realizes he, or she, may give himself, or herself, away, and shuts up.

Gopp - "Gary and Rosie, you will begin your mission by doing an about face and walking out of this grand, cavernous edifice and make a sharp right...keep going...keep going until you reach the sea of Nehi...

where you will meet a magic, giant platypus, named Penelope.

Penelope will let you ride upon her back (if you give her an Oreo cookie),

where she will take you to the Island of Bok Nakid, where no photos are allowed.

On that really fun island you'll discover a vintage airplane (like the one Indiana Jones crashed on the golf course)

that you will fly through a "wormhole" to Texas, in the year 2015, where you will partake of some good BBQ, line dancin' to There's A Yellow Rose In Texas, and "red eye" whiskey..."

Gary - "Excuse me, Gopp, but I'm having a hard tom remembering all of your directions.

Gopp - (Whispering) "That's okay, Gary, I'm just making all of this up to throw off the mysterious monster, who is hiding behind that stalagmite...or is it a stalactite?"

Gary - "I think a stalacTITE is on the floor, because it's stuck real TITE to the floor of the cave, and a stalagMITE is one that hangs from the ceiling of the cavern, because it MITE fall down!"

Rosie - "Gary, that is so WRONG! It's just the opposite! Let me go over here and show you!"

Rosie walks over to the exact, giant stalagmite, or stalactite, where the vicious beast is hiding and starts to explain what's what about cave formations... and immediately disappears!

Gary - "Rosie! Rosie! Oh, Gopp! The horrible monster must have grabbed the love of my lice!"

Gopp - "Oh, my! That's terrible! I feel so bad for you! I didn't know Rosie was the love of your life!"

Gary - " No, Gopp! I said that she's the love of my LICE, my adopted pet lice just LOVE Rosie!"

Rosie - "Would you dudes stop talking about lice, and pull me out of this hole I fell in!"

Gary and Gopp - ROSIE! You're ALIVE!!!

Gopp and Gary run over and pull her out of the hole.

GARY - "We thought the mysterious creature abducted you, Rosie!"

Rosie - "What mysterious creature? I just fell in this gal durned hole because the lighting is so bad in this cavernous edifice! By the way stalacTITES are on TOP...TITES TOP, TITES TOP!"

Gary - "I don't think your tops are too tite, Rosie. They look just rite to me!"

Rosie - "Good grief...I give up!"

Gopp, The Magnificent - "You can't give up yet, Rosie! I haven't even told you about the mission yet!"

Rosie - "Okay, tell us while I wash the mud off myself in this cement pond." (Rosie dives into the glimmering pond)

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Noooo, Rosie! You just dove in to the Pond Of Indecision...which will make you indecisive for about 30 days, or is it 40 days?"

Rosie - "Well, I better jump out...or maybe I'll stay in here...but, I can't stay in here all day...on the other hand, it feels so refreshing in here...I'm coming out...no I'm not...

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Oh, my, Rosie is already under the influence of the pond!"

Gary pulls Rosie out of the Pond Of Indecision.

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Okay, now that the fierce, ugly mystery creature is gone, I'll tell you the REAL lowdown on the super secret mission."

"Ya go out the cave entrance, hop in your legendary spazeship, The Silver Sausage,

and zoom off to Paducah, Kentucky, on the planet Earth."

"Go door to door, asking for a dude named Benny. If you're mistaken for Jehovah's Witnesses, just let them believe that, it will enhance your cover."

"When you finally contact Benny, use this secret code message, "Coldplay is hot," and Benny will reply with, "So is Texas in July."

"If he doesn't answer in that EXACT way, it's not really Benny, and you need to keep searching until you find him."

"When you find the authentic Benny, he will give you an old 45 rpm record of Elvis, singing "I Kissed A Glirkazoid and I liked It," which is the rarest record in the universe!"

"Guard it with your lice...and when the lice tire out, guard it yourselves!"

Gary - "Wait a minute, Gopp, you want us to travel all the way to Earth for an old 45 rpm record?"

Rosie - "I get it! The fate of the Glirkazoid race depends upon it, Gary! If that record is seen and heard by others, the whole universe will decend on our planet, Glirka, trying to kiss us and mate with us, and we will never be a pure, unadulterated race again!"

Gary - "Rosie! Yaaaay! You're not indecisive anymore!"