Wednesday, February 26, 2020

 Out Of This World Wednesday
Episode III
Introducing Krug the Kruddy!

When we try to imagine the unimaginable reaches of outer spaze, the final frontier, the wild black yonder, the pathway to the stars, gateway to the galaxies, infinity and beyond, we begin to understand that metaphors are really used a lot in science friction,



although, infinity and beyond is not exactly a metaphor, but ain't no English teachers reading this crap, no ways!




As we learnt from Episode II, Admirals Gary and Rosie were commissioned to let caution fly to the wind and sacrifice themselves for a dangerously deadly mission to find and destroy the Hitlerstalinmussolinians, who have been spreading their lawless, ruthless, sadistic, evil activities over the universes and dimensions for millions of agonizingly long yerticepts! (yerticepts are kinda like years)




Rosie - "Are you ready to go over our check list before we zoom across the cold dark blanket of spaze, Gary?"

Gary - "Not YOU with the metaphors too!"

Rosie - "I just think metaphors paint a vivid picture, like a Beronian butterfly beautifying the blue sky!"




Gary - "HA! Gotcha, Rosie! That was NOT a metaphor! That was a similie, and alliteration as well! So don't try and tell me about metaphors, similies, pronouns, diagraming sentences, past participles or none of that fancy stuff! I'm on to your wicked scheme!"




Rosie - "What in Glirka are you raving about?! Since they legalized recreational "cane" you have been acting bezzonkers, buddy!"




Regular candy cane is a highly addictive drug to Glirkazoids, which can alter their brilliant bizarre brains in unexpected, unpredictable ways, which may bring them euphoria or paranoia, pleasure or pain, Lennon or McCartney, and why the Glirkazoid government legalized that poison is a mystery, except for the fact they are making a tri-gazillion pazoozas from it. 




Gary - "I USED to be addicted to the "cane," but I've got that problem licked!"




Rosie - "Sure you do. Now let's go over the check list, "Caner!" Isn't that what they called you? Caner?"

Gary - "Just drag out the things we'll need for the mission, and shut up about my past faux pas!"

Rosie - "Very well. Emulsificators...four of 'em!




Gary - "Check!"

Rosie - "Beast blasters...eight is enough, right?"



Gary - "Wasn't that an Earth TV show?  Nevermind, I'm not even taking the tom to ask. Check!"

Rosie - "Two clocks of invisibility."

Gary - "CLOCKS of invisibility? It's supposed to be two CLOAKS of invisibility!"



Rosie - "How can I tell the difference! They're INVISIBLE, dummy!"

Gary - "Check...I think!"

Rosie - "200 ancient copies of Doc Watson vinyl records?"



Gary - "Yep-pers!! I need to be in that "bluegrass" tempo before going out and disintegrating Hitlerstalinmussolinians!"



Rosie - "Swear you're not back into the madness inducing candy cane, Gary!"

Gary - "I swear on the grave of the greatest Glirkazoid warrior in the long history of the planet Glirka. Greg the Great! A hero amongst heroes, who conquered more galaxies than ANY other conqueror in the vast annals of cosmic exploration!"

GREG THE GREAT


Rosie - "Okay. A Greg the Great swear is the most solemn oath a Glirkazoid can pronounce, so I truly believe you!"

Gary - (chuckles under his breath) "Super duper, Rosie! Now let's finish this fun check list!"

Whilst Gary and Rosie continue with their hilarious check list, the scene changes to the dark, dank headquarters of the mysterious, soulless master of the Hitlerstalinmussolinians...namely, KRUG THE KRUDDY!!



Krug is sitting on his throne of SKULLS, and begins to speak in his hissing, raspy voice...

Krug - "The grapevine tells me that the Glirkazoid warriors, Rosie and Gary, are planning to find our location and defeat us in battle! Ha ha ha ha ha  ha, HAAAA, haaaaaa, haaaaaaaaa..."

The 10 million Hitlerstalinmussolinians standing in the throne room, begin to laugh with Krug, while they pound their wooden staffs on the stone floor!!

Sounds kinda like the beginning of the We Will Rock You song. 



Oh, dear! Will Krug catch our Glirkazoid "goodfellas" in a trap?

Will Gary and Rosie even find the location of Krug the Kruddy, with his millions of Hitlerstalinmussolonian minions? 

Will the old, beat up, Silver Sausage spazeship, be able to limp across the endless, emptiness of spaze without a major breakdown? 



Join us next Wednesday for another reciting episode of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!! 

A fine recitation to hold you over until next week!