Parking Lot Pandemonium
pan·de·mo·ni·um
/ˌpandəˈmōnēəm/
noun
- wild and noisy disorder or confusion; uproar."pandemonium broke out"
Folks who drive okay on the roads will completely
throw out ALL the rules when driving in a parking lot!
You know it and I know it!
No speed limit exists in a parking lot, so 60 mph is cool,
RIGHT?
The directional arrows are not REAL, because they
were painted on by the parking lot makers, not the
state!
The stop signs are not OFFICIAL stop signs! They are
smaller and shorter than authentic stop signs, so
ignoring them is okay!
It's all good to go in between cars, crossways, across the
lanes at any indiscriminate point!
Taking up two parking spaces is permissible! Why?
Because you deserve it!!
Cars have the right of way over grannies with little
carts! We don't have time to wait on their slow butts!!
If we are driving a semi truck or big Silverado with a
looong horse trailer, park across 12 spaces, instead of
in an area that doesn't block any spaces in the lot!
Why should you hafta walk so far? You're an American
citizen with inalienable rights, or an undocumented
immigrant with the same exact rights, for some reason
unbeknownst to me!
It's the perfect situation for an old coot like me who
needs to sharpen my driving reflexes by avoiding
cars darting ACROSS the lanes instead of following
the arrows, watching for vehicles going the wrong
direction of the arrows, looking for cars speeding
through the stop signs at 60mph, and dodging grannies
who have been propelled through the air by unrelenting
pick up trucks!
Call me an old school fool (not really),
but I take pride in following the
arrows, driving at reduced speeds, watching
for grannies, parking in ONE space, and stopping at
stop signs in parking lots, to prevent death
and dismemberment.
How's about you, Boogaloo?
