My State Of The Onion Address

My fellow Americans. A lot of folks think onions are gross and taste really nasty. However, the sweet Vidalia onions are not hot and harsh at all. Especially when they are sautéed in butter!

At the Maness household we eat onions every day, at every meal. 

Why? 

The answer may be a bit mysterious and confusing to the vast minority of individuals.

Would you like to know the answer, even though you may not comprehend the deep meaning?

No?

Okay. I don't blame you. With America going into such a death spiral at this point in tom (1/14/2021), the reason we eat onions is so miniscule in comparison. 

On the other hand, if I've discovered that onions are the secret to long life and happiness, you'd be more interested! Right? Am I right?

Unfortunately, I've NOT discovered any "fountain of youth" benefits in onions, whatsoever. 

Um. Let's see. I forgot my point. 

Speaking of onions, the onion peels are so incredibly messy! I try to keep them from going all over the kitchen counter and floor, but to no avail!

In addition, if they are even slightly wet you cannot remove them from your fingers without MAXIMUM effort!!

Paul McCartney taught me how to mince onions in a video, where he tells us he learned this from his wife, Linda. Check it out at about 2:36 ↓

I hope you checked it out, because it's so cool to see an iconic figure like Sir Paul McCartney humbly peeling and mincing an onion! 

Okay, I guess I've kept you in suspense long enough. The real reason I eat onions every day is because aliens from another dimension recommended it.

 I don't know why they suggested onions, but who's gonna argue with giant lizard creatures? 

Just kidding! We just like onions and I thought the "state of the onion" was a good play on worms!