OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
EPISODE FIVE
Do you ever wonder what it's like "out there!" Far beyond the "wild blue yonder," where unseen, unknown planets exist in other galaxies, dimensions and parallel universes, inhabited by creatures of strange shapes, sizes, and educational levels?
No? Then why are you reading this? Your life sucks and don't have anything else to do? Or is it something even more pathetic?
No? Then why are you reading this? Your life sucks and don't have anything else to do? Or is it something even more pathetic?
You are my friend, and you feel sorry for me, right?
Oh, pullease! I hope that's not it! I already have low self esteem, and to learn you just feel sorry for me would be the last nail on the camel's back...or something like that!
On the other hand, maybe ya'll think I'm a tremendously talented humorist, but are reluctant to tell me, because you KNOW it would inflate my HUGE ego.
Now, does anyone doubt I'm bi-polar? I think not.
Do your darndest to disregard all of my previous comments, and try to focus your unadulterated attention to Episode Five of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!
As our weary, diminutive Rosie and Gary (only four inches tall...max) trek across the rugged landscape of the planet of Sophomore, in search of the City Of Platinum, that holds the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that lays platinum eggs, and was unceremoniously stolen from their planet of Glirka, we listen in on their stimulating conversation...
Gary - "You've got to be kidding me, Rosie! You actually think The Princess Bride is a better movie than Kung Pow - Enter The Fist?"
Rosie - "No contest, Gary. The Princess Bride is a celebrated classic! Loved by gazillions of creatures throughout all the universe! No one knows or CARES about that Dung Cow movie!"
Gary - "Kung Pow! That's the point sweetcakes! The Princess Bride is part of the mainstream, mundane kind of movie EVERYBODY loves, but Kung Pow is in the realm of avant garde, groundbreaking movies that everybody HATES, like the ones Jonas Mekas and David Lynch created!"
Rosie - "Who?"
Rosie - "Who?"
Whilst the "tremendous two" discuss this impotent issue, we focus in on the Flying Fortress of Platinum, that floats about one hundred feet above the City Of Platinum, and is the home of the priceless Chicken Of Kluck...AND...unfortunately...Lord Swyparooski, the mastermind who engineered the heist of the fabulous fowl, 222,000 years ago! (Space creatures live a long time.)
Lord Swyparooski - "I feel a disturbance in the forze, Bosco!" (Bosco is Lord Swyparooski's trusted, and rusted aid.)
Lord Swyparooski
Lord Swyparooski - "I feel a disturbance in the forze, Bosco!" (Bosco is Lord Swyparooski's trusted, and rusted aid.)
Bosco
Bosco - "Are you sure it was a disturbance in the forze, me Lord? I farted a few seconds ago."
Lord Swyparooski - "Don't be foolish, Bosco! If you had farted, the stench would have been HUGE, you over rated garbage can!
"No...I sense there is an elite team of Glirkazoids coming to take back their treasured, Golden Chicken Of Kluck that I absconded with, fair and square, 222,000 years ago."
Bosco - "Are you sure you "sensed" it, Master, or just read about it on line, in OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY?"
Lord Swyparooski - "Silence, you insolent bucket of bolts! How dare you question my mastery of the "dork side!"
Rosie - "Let me educate you, meat head! The Princess Bride has Peter Falk, Mandy Patinkin, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane. the beautiful Robin Wright, Cary Elwes, and ANDRE THE GIANT, for heaven's sake!! Who is in that Dumb Cow movie, hmmm?"
Gary - "It's NOT DUMB COW! It's Kung Pow!! And for your information, it has some REAL superstars, like Steve Odekerk, Jennifer Tung, Lung Fei, Tse Ling-ling, and the inimitable, James Wing Woo!"
Steve Odekerk
Tse Ling-ling
Jennifer Tung
Lung Fei
James Wing Woo
Rosie - "Big woo, you...you...NOT Roger Ebert! I've never heard of ANY of those...
At that instant, the "tremendous two" are thrown off their tiny feet by a large BLAST!
When the smoke from the blast clears away, Gary and Rosie are surprised to see two old friends...Big Gaz (rhymes with dig jazz) and Rhymesauce (rhymes with mime toss) who, unceremoniously, transmigrated themselves into their presence, by way of a "transmigratory contraption."
Big Gaz
Rhymesauce
What?
Why are these strange friends joining our unconquerable super heroes?!
Will they be facing dangers far greater than they had imagined?!
Can these ancient buddies resolve the debate over The Princess Bride and Kung Pow-Enter The Fist?!!
Join us next Wednesday and the answers will be revealed in... (Why does there need to be a W in answers, anyway?)
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!!
(Why is there is D in Wednesday? We don't need it!!)
