Ten Incomplete Facts About Snow

1. Snow is NOT angel dandruff. 

2. Snow will NOT shut you in your home for months on end, so no need to stock up your root cellar with 6 months of non-perishable food, unless you live in some arctic region of the world.

3. Snow is very slippery, so slow down your walking, driving and exuberant dancing in it.

4. Yellow snow usually appears after a dog takes a walk. A mystery that still remains a...umm...mystery to the uninitiated. If no dogs have been around, you have some uninhibited, beer drinking neighbors, I suspect.

5. Snow is always white, which makes it racist, wealthy, and a Trump supporter. 

6. There are 50 words for snow in the Eskimo language, even more words in Chicago truck driver language. 

 

7. Snow is NOT angels bowling. That's what makes THUNDER, silly. 

8. God made snow for KIDS to sled on, build snowmen, snow people, have snow ball fights, create snow forts, and all the rest of us have to tolerate the "white death," as I like to call it. 

9. Snow has always diminished in intensity and inches over history. Just ask our parents, and grandparents, and great grandparents, and...

10. Twelve inches of snow in Alabama is "SNOWMAGEDDON," on the other hand, twelve inches of snow in Minnesota is "hold my beer, bros., while I take my clothes off and slide down the hill into the river again!"

    Using actual photos of unclad humans is stickly prohibited, thank goodness!  

As you can imagine, I could go on and on, all day, talking about snow, but as Charles Dudley Warner used to say, "Everybody TALKS about the weather, but NOBODY does anything about it!"

Ain't THAT the truth!