SATURDAY MORNING POST

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW HUGE PLANET WITH HUBBLE TELESCOPE

(No, wait, the telescope got turned back towards earth and photographed Chris Christie!)

LEGENDARY ROLLING STONES BAND WILL BE HONORED BY BRITAIN'S MEDICAL SOCIETY FOR JUST BEING ABLE TO STAND UP

THE LAST SURVIVING POLAR BEAR IS FOUND FLOATING ON A SMALL ICE FLOE AND YELLING, THEY'RE ALL MINE NOW, ALL THE FISH ARE MINE!

THE LAST SURVIVING POLAR BEAR FOUND DEAD, WITH COKE BOTTLES AND ZERO BAR WRAPPERS BY HIM

BEAR EXPERTS BAFFLED WHEN THEY FIND POLAR BEAR LIVING AT THE NORTH POLE HALF THE TIME AND THE SOUTH POLE THE OTHER HALF...

THEY THINK HE IS BI-POLAR

THIS IS VERY WEIRD AND COOL...I WANT YOU!!