It's Happy Time! Be Happy!

As you may well know, the main porpoise of this blog is to make you happier. You may have noticed I didn't say to make you happy, because no one is totally happy. At least, no one I've ever known. 

So, let's do a fun, experimental thing today, to see if it makes you happier. 

Coming up is a song I wrote about 10,000 years ago. It is entitled, Happy Time! What I'd like you to do is start playing the song as soon as you see it, and read the happifying  words that follow, whilst listening to the song. 

Please RSVP me as soon as you are able, and tell me if the combo of song and mirthful words made you happier, even for a brief moment. 

Okay, here's the song, start playing it...

Tips On Making Ourselves Happier

1. Buy a new toothbrush. They're inexpensive and it makes us feel better about our personal hygiene.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You'll feel great after listening to his/her stories of the olden days! Don't know anyone in a nursing home? No matter, just pick out somebody at a nursing facility and tell them you're Bob's cousin from Kansas. Every family has a Bob, and since nobody ever goes to Kansas, how can your story be disproved?

Kansas Prairie

3. Trim your toenails. I know, I know when you're old and fat like me, it's kinda difficult, but what a feeling of accomplishment when you're done! Of course, you can have it done at one of those fancy salons, but who wants to pay $100? I sure don't, and where is the feeling of accomplishment with that? 

4. Go to St. Louis, Chicago, or ANYWHERE there's a White Castle Hamburger place and eat a whole bag of White Castles! Even if it's 500 miles away! They're worth it! Make sure you wear Depends for the drive home. 

5. Go through all of your old clothes and junk,  and take it to Goodwill. Just make sure you haven't stashed $30,000 in a coat pocket, Tupperware container, or old purse. That would NOT make you happier, although it would make a Goodwill worker ecstatic! 

6. Call an old friend you haven't seen in a long time. Just don't be shocked if they're dead, or can't remember you. You'd be surprised how often that happens at my age. (Maybe not)

7. Play with an animal. If you have a pet, pet him/her! If you don't have a pet, go to the local animal shelter, pick out a pet, tell him/her you are Bob's cousin from Kansas...

I was hoping that the song would end at the same exact time you finished reading the blog. Did it?

If not, it's because you read too fast, or too slow, depending on whether the song has ended or still playing.

So, do you feel happier? If not, please read this disclaimer...

The writer of this blog is not responsible for the happiness of any or all individuals who voluntarily read this dysfunctional crap, and at no time guarantee that the readers will experience any happy thoughts, joy, gladness, or delight. Any use of this blog to try to defame the author is restricted by the Illinois code B501-722, and area code 309. Failure to abide by the bylaws of the Fraternal Order Of  Muskrats will be persecuted to the highest degree.