OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
EPISODE VII
Try to listen to the music provided by the fabulous Moody Blues, whilst reading Episode VII. The song is from their outstanding Seventh Sojourn album.
See the connection? Episode
VII? SEVENTH Sojourn? Seven Samurai? The Magnificent Seven?
Anyway...listen to the cool song, even if you don't get it, okay?
Rosie and Gary are standing on the rugged terrain of the foreboding planet of Sophomore, in a purple rain. (Had to slip in a Prince tribute, like everybody else)
Gary - "Rosie...I can barely see the Floating Fortress Of Platinum, due to this stinking purple rain! Can you see anything, me love?"
Rosie - "Not much, Admiral Gary, and what's with this "me love" crap! I am Vice Admiral Rosie, you...you...sexual harassment dude!"
Gary - "Lighten up, Rosie, it's just that you look so hot with that purple rain dripping off your..."
At that, one of Swyparooski's blue dragons, Mo, who had been camouflaged by the purple rain, swoops down and grabs Gary and pins him to the rugged terrain!
Immediately, a second blue dragon, Lari, pins Rosie to the ground!
With the both of them pinned down and helpless, the third blue dragon, Kerly, comes in for the kill!
(This would also include the slow, torturous, ripping them apart, roasting them with dragon's fire, and devouring them)
Rosie - "Well, Gary, it looks like this is the end, my old friend."
Gary - "Sadly, I think you're correct. Oh, if only I had trusted our dear warrior friends, Rhymesauce and Big Gaz. Then we wouldn't have been outnumbered against these ferocious dragons!"
Rosie - "I TRIED to tell you, you big dummy!
Just look...that big blue dragon is slowly creeping up on us, and if Big Gaz and Rhymesauce were around, they would shoot their high velocity, nuclear powered, laser guided arrows right through it's big blue head!"
Right on cue, two golden, high velocity, nuclear powered, laser guided arrows pierce the big blue cranium of Kerly, the stalking dragon, but he doesn't die right away...he let's out this eardrum shattering roar, gallons of blood spew out of the arrow holes, he begins to stagger around, and then, dramatically crashes to the ground with a thunderous sound!
An instant later, we all applaud when we see Big Gaz and Rhymesauce (bows in hand) standing on a rock that looks like a triceratops, or is it a triceratops that looks like a rock?
Rosie - "Gary...it's our super friends, Rhymesauce and Big Gaz, standing on that rock that looks like a
stegosaurus! They must have been following us all along!"
Gary - "That rock doesn't look like a stegosaurus! It's apatosaurus shaped! Anyway...I knew it! I knew we could trust our old friends to help us out!"
Rosie - "Say what? Wasn't it YOU who said we could NOT trust..."
Gary - "Never mind that, Rosie! We still need to get these ugly blue dragons off of us, before THEY devour our little bodies!"
Rosie - "Why can't B.G. and Rhymy shoot them off of us, Gary?"
Gary - "They are afraid they might shoot US, due to our close proximty with these big blue lizards!"
At that very instant, ANOTHER deadly arrow shish-ka-bobs the blue head of Mo, who is about ready to make Gary his paleo lunch!
Back up on the TRICERATOPS shaped rock, or TRICERASTOPS that looks like a rock, with Rhymesauce and Big Gaz.
Rhymesauce - "William Tell, Robin Hood, can bow to you, that shot was good!"
Big Gaz - "No way, mate! I was aimin' at Gary! The greedy little bugger! But we can't risk skewering that hot babe, Rosie!!"
Photo of Rosie BEFORE being pinned down by Lari
Ain't she HOT?!
Gary - "Wow! Big gaz was willing to risk that risky shot to save his dear old friend! What a guy!"
Rosie - "Uh, I'm not so sure, buddy! That arrow has your name written on it!"
Rosie notices this whilst being pinned down by Lari, the blue dragon, who will soon tear her to pieces, burn her, and devour her hot succulent little body, if she is not saved real quick-like!
Since Gary is now free of the clutches of Mo, who is dying an agonizing, cinematic and surround sounding, Oscar winning performance death scene, he heads over to slay Lari, and once again be the hero of the day, when who should appear but another old, old friend...
GOUNDERUS!!!!
Faster than a greased road runner...
Gounderus hightails it over to Lari, and "El Kabongs" the demon dragon upside the head with his Kung Fu infused spanish guitar, which takes Lari's head CLEAN OFF!"
Sidebar...You may be wondering why so many "old friends" are coming "out of the woodwork" and doing the "heroizing," instead of Gary and Rosie...well, it's twofold, actually!
The first reason is obvious...there is untold gazillions of pazoozas (Glirkazoid name for money) on the line!
Secondly...I wanted to include some of our loyal, faithful blog readers into the episode, as a way of showing thanks for your undying loyalty and endurance in the face of my nonsensical absurdity!
In this next scene we see the whole group gathered together, with dead, bloody, blue dragons scattered about the rugged landscape.
The purple rain has stopped. (A little symbolism in that line)
Rosie - "I want to thank y'all for saving us from those mean dragons! You guys kicked some major dragon derrière!!"
Gary - "Yeah, I have to admit, you are ALL true friends, and you're all welcome to join us in taking back the Golden Chicken Of Kluck!"
Rosie "Of course, you all know that the Golden Chicken goes back to the Museum Of Chicken Artifacts on Glirka, as well as any platinum eggs she has laid, or may lay on the way back, right?!"
Gary, Rhymesauce, Big Gaz, Gounderus all answering together...
RIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!
Rhymesauce - "Platinum fortress, in the sky, how do we get there, we can't fly, ropes won't work, nor pogo sticks, up your sleeves, do you have tricks?"
Well, well, well...now with the big blue dragons out of the way, another obstacle presents itself.
How will our intrepid adventurers get up to the Flying Fortress Of Platinum, that is so way high in the sky?
You can disregard the dragons now, they are long gone!
Join us next week for the answer to that question and much, much more...in OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!
