DRIVING IN ILLINOIS IS SPECIAL    

If the above clip looks absolutely normal to you, Illinois is your home state. Right...RIGHT?

If you are not from Illinois, and have never been to Illinois, you may think I'm exaggerating the facts in this little blog post, but just ask ANYONE who has ever driven on the "run the gauntlet" roads of Illinois and they will confirm  the words which I've written here so honestly and truly. 

To run the gauntlet is to take part in a form of corporal punishment in which the party judged guilty is forced to run between two rows of soldiers who strike out and attack them.

Take Chicago (PLEASE... take Chicago) for example. The perfect example of what I mean by "running the gauntlet" in Illinois.  Zigzagging between road construction , avoiding truckers that want to kill you, drivers, late for work, who want to run you over, detours, toll booths, roads that pop up in the hot weather, and form giant craters in the freezing cold weather...as a result, here is a little example of a typical Chicago driver going to work...

On the other hand, the roads "downstate" (that's where I live) are so bad NASA used a section of Peoria's Route 29 to film the fake moon landing in 1969 and no one knew the difference! 

If you look closely, you can see my old Mustang on the horizon.

In addition, the BORING scenery tends to put folks to sleep, so as they are dreaming about cornfields...cornfields...cornfields...their pickup hits a massive pothole and careens into a...you guessed it...CORNFIELD! 

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Illinois! 

I love the kind people...

the Illinois River... 

with jumping Asian Carp... 

the history of Abe Lincoln...

most of my grandkids live here

 and I REALLY love them...

the Greg and Dan radio show is here in Illinois...

                                 my beautiful wife...                                   

however...the roads need a little attention...that's all I'm sayin'.