Tuesday, February 26, 2013

TRAVELIN' TUESDAYS 

The deep love we have for our first vehicle can only be matched by our first love of a girl, or boy, whatever you prefer.


The photo of the Harley Davidson "Hummer," (below) is an exact representation of my first vehicle. (Same color, and everything)
The term "Harley Hummer", loosely refers to all antique, Harley Davidson, American made, 2 cycle , vintage, lightweight motorcycles produced between 1948 and 1966 at the Milwaukee, Wisconsin factory. However, technically speaking , the true  "Harley Hummer" was only produced from 1955 until 1959, and it was a very basic, stripped down, no frills, 125cc motorcycle.

I know what you're thinking, 'cause I have E.S.P! (Extra stupid perception)

You are thinking that Dannyboy is gonna start in reminiscing about his long lost Harley, how he misses it so, how he would love to feel the wind blowing through his hair whilst zooming across the highways and byways of St. Louis County in the mid 1960's once again...right?

WRONGO! I HATED THAT MISERABLE BIKE!!!!

Hasten back to the summer of 1965. 

I was 15 years old and had more money than I knew what to do with, because of doing construction work for my neighbors business.

The beautiful blue little bike ( or so I thought at the time) was parked down the street with a sign on it that read $160.00.
Big money, but I was loaded, and bought it after a brief test ride.


Little did I know that the "demon" bike would make me develop an intense hatred for motorcycles that still lingers in my underdeveloped brain to this very day!!


Of course, at 15 I had no license, no drivers training, and no sense.

My dad made a rule that I could only ride it within a certain, limited area near our house, and on "low traffic" streets.

Needless to say, I would travel all over St. Louis, miles and miles from the restricted area.

I found out by accident that the little "Hummer" would stop running when it rained, the day I was about 20 miles from the restricted area, and my dad had to come and pick me up, along with the bike. ( To put it mildly, my dad did not enjoy being inconvenienced)
However, my dad's wrath was nothing compared to all the times I'd fall off that cursed "devil machine!"
Loose gravel on the road, I went down...A little oil on the street, I went down...A June bug hitting me in the forehead, you guessed it...I went down!



I did not wear a helmet because it was not considered cool by my peers,  so I frequently landed on my unprotected head.

It's a miracle it didn't adversely interfere with my brain functions later on in life. WHO HA!!! NOPE IT DIDN'T, BOSKO!!!!



Furthermore, when it was just a bit chilly in the morning, or at night, it felt like winter winds on the plains of Minnesota on the bike! 
In addition, ABSOLUTELY NO PROTECTION from the rain (that stopped the "Hummer" from humming, anyway), sharp rocks hurling at me from semi trucks, loose pit bulls coming out to bite my ankles at night, gang members in East St. Louis wanting to mug me while I was stopped at a stop sign, the blazing St. Louis heat during the day, and zombies~~


No heater, no air conditioner, no seat belts, no padded dash, no way to transport a bunch of groceries from the I.G.A., and no way to give my girlfriend a safe ride to the prom! ( That is, if I ever had a girlfriend, or went to the prom) 


Don't ask me to ride on your "suicide machines" brothers and sisters! 

I ain't goin'!!

I hate 'em, I hate 'em, I hate 'em!!

How is it the dumb government has millions of safety regulations for cars, and almost none for motorcycles?!

Do you think the evil politicians are trying to kill off all the motorcycle riders to limit the population growth? 



Oh, I don't know, but aren't you happy this was not one of those sappy articles about a guys idiotic love for his old "ride!"


On the other hand, did I ever tell you about the car I bought from my friend Rick Gieselman? Her name was Cheryl...