Thursday, November 5, 2020

Don't Stop Me! I'm Not THAT OLD!



I need to clear my gutters of leaves and my neighbors freak out when I'm up dare on the ladder!



Yes, I know I'm the Ancient Of Days in the neighborhood, but GEE-WILIKERS, I can still  take an hour or 4 to clean those nasty leaves outta my gutters!



My neighbors will walk by and try to get me to come down off the ladder, without making me feel older than dirt, but they ALWAYS do make me feel older than dirt.



"Danny, uh, do you think it's a good idea for you to be up dare? You don't want to fall, do ya?"

"Yes! I think it's a SUPER idea for me to be up here, and I hope I fall and break me arse!!"

That usually makes them shut up, but some are more persistent.

"Mr. Maness, Would you like me to clean those nasty leaves out of the gutter for you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, um, because I'm just being a good neighbor, you see?"

"No, I don't see! Be more pacific!"



"Did you mean, specific? Well, anyway, someone your age..."

"My age? MY AGE!!!"

"Let me tell ya somethin' bud, I can still OUTWORK you, OUTLIFT you, OUTTHINK you...and, well, I do feel a bit shaky up here, but my pride is gonna keep me up here until I have a terrible fall, like Engelbert Humperdinck!""

"Do  you mean,  Humpty Dumpty?"

"Don't patronize me condescendingly, you TURD!"



"I don't think you know what those words even mean, Danny!"



"Well, let me tell you, neighbor...whoa...WHOOOOAA NELLIE...