FAN FRIDAYS

I'm a fan of high school days...

MORE BEER FOR PATTONVILLE HIGH

Actual photo of Pattonville High School

( Sung to the tune of the Notre Dame fight song.)

More beer for Pattonville High, 

Bring on the whiskey,

Bring on the rye.

Send those Freshmen out for gin,

And don’t let a sober sophomore in.

Juniors never stagger,

Seniors never fall,

They sober up on Wood Alcohol,

While the Royal Faculty,

Lies drunk on the ballroom floor.

More, more, more.

More beer for Pattonville High………………….

(Now, repeat the whole song on the school bus about two dozen times!)

About the song: I do not know who wrote the lyrics to “More Beer For Pattonville High” but wasn’t he/her a certified genius?

This was an actual real life song we sang on the bus while traveling to “away” games, and the TEACHERS sang along with us!

Believe me, brothers and sisters, this would not happen on any school bus in this politically correct 21st century. And if it did happen, it would become a “Federal Case!”

Pattonville was an “old style” school. (Actually, a Budweiser, Busch, and Michelob school. This WAS St. Louis, for heaven’s sake!)

The “old lady” stood high on a hilltop.
Weathered, faded and beaten down by 75 years of student abuse;  and covered in graffiti, spit, and stains, inflicted by rude, disobedient, bratty kids.

Sadly, Pattonville High School  suffered all the same abuse as “Miss Zimmerman”; the poor, old lady school teacher mentioned in the last paragraph.

Pattonville looked exactly like a high school should look.

Get into your car and drive to a town or section of your city that hasn’t torn down the old high school yet.
We will wait until you get back.
O.K. That’s what Pattonville looked like.

Pattonville again

High schools built since 1984( Note the significance of the year) look like prisons or a bunch of “Glirkazoid” spaceships hooked together.( Hey! Could it be………………..

Yes, this is a high school!

Now, lets get this story focused on the primary, uh,……..focus.
“Charlyn Wilcox.”
Isn’t that a glorious name?
Wilcox!


When I accomplished something important, suffered, cried, lost sleep, dressed up, showed off, fantasized or risked my very life; it was all  because of Charlyn Wilcox.

From first grade to my Senior year in high school, Charlyn Wilcox was the major reason I existed and/or succeeded or failed at whatever I did.

It was “ love at first sight” when I saw her!
The, golden morning sun gently touched her soft, sweet, blonde hair, literally making it glow like a thousand, um, “Tinkerbells.” ( I know I used “Tinkerbells” before in this blog but frankly my dear, I think Tinkerbell is “HOT!”)

However, it wasn’t until years later that I penned this heartfelt poem to my lovely Charlyn.

Golden Glow

By Danny Maness

I know a girl with a golden  glow,

That none but I can see,

A glow that makes my heart begin, 

To play a rhapsody.

My deep romantic feelings,

I fear she’ll never know,

Or my hearts hallucination, 

Of her gentle golden glow.

Sadly, Charlyn never saw these charming delightful words because I was WAY too shy to reveal my feelings to her.
In fact, I never said more than two or three words to her in all of our twelve years in the Pattonville R3 school district together!
I don’t think I even made eye contact with her!
I was Quasimodo; she was Esmeralda.
I was the frog; she was the princess.
She was Julia Roberts; I was Lyle Lovett.

( That had to be a pity marriage; I guess he felt sorry for her. Ba dum!)

Let’s get back to dear old P.H.S.
I was a good football player.
No brag; just fact.
When I was a sophomore, I played on the sophomore, J.V. and Varsity football teams.
I also won the “Most Outstanding Sophomore” trophy for football.
Why was I good at football?
“Charlyn Wilcox!”

Starting at the age of nine, I played football with the “big” kids on a vacant lot.
The vacant lot was right next to a “certain girl’s” house.
Guess who?
Correctamundo!
Charlyn.
That cute little blondie would sit out on her front porch and watch us play.
 This was a dream come true!

The age range of the neighborhood “kids” that played on that lot was from 9 to 21 and everyone was treated equally.
Nobody was given a “pass” because of their age.
I would get knocked on my butt just as hard as everyone else!
However, that was the “beauty” part.
I could show off for Charlyn by outplaying the “big” kids.

When they let me run the ball, I kept thinking; “Charlyn’s watching me, Charlyn’s watching me!
When I tackled a 240 pound, 20 year old “kid”, I thought to myself;  “ Charlyn’s watching me, Charlyn’s watching me!

Now, I don’t know if she was ever REALLY watching me, because I was always too dazed to see her clearly, after the crushing contact with a “big” kid the size of a small school bus.
But in my imagination she saw every move I made and her sweet little heart yearned to kiss me.
( Her heart yearned to kiss me? Remember, I suffered multiple concussions.)

So, here is the point. 
Hey! I remember the point! 
Cool!
The more I showed off for Charlyn, the better I became at football, and basically everything else in my formative years.
( For your information; my formative years were from 1950 to 1969.)
In my fantasy world she secretly loved me and kept tabs on everything I did.

Oh, wow!
I almost forgot one of the most exhilarating experiences of my whole “stupid” life!
From tom to tom, we would be forced to square dance at St. Ann Elementary. ( By the way. It wasn’t a catholic school...the town was St. Ann.)
The initial process was both terrifying and humiliating.

The girls would line up on one side of the gym and the boys would line up on the other side.
When the teacher gave the “word”, the boys had to walk across the gym floor and choose the girl they wanted to dance with.

The cool confident boys would rush right over and grab the most beautiful girls as dance partners.
This included Charlyn, of course.
The shy, “ugly duckling” boys would just stand around until the teacher put them together with a shy “ugly duckling” girl. 
I really didn’t mind being with a U.D. girl because I was a U.D. too and this was SQUARE DANCING.
If you have never square danced, let me fill you in on some of the finer details.
You don’t just dance with your partner.
No, no.
You get to dance with ALL the girls.
Including the lovely and ravishing Charlyn Wilcox!
Maybe these old square dance “calls” will clarify what I’m trying to say.

Oh Johnny,Oh
You all join hands and you circle the ring, 
Stop where you are, give your partner a swing,
You swing that girl behind you,
( Maybe Charlyn!)
You swing your own, 
If you have time when the music’s through.

You alamand left with your corner girl,
(Who could very well be Charlyn!)
You do-si-do your own.

Then you all prominade with your sweet corner maid,
(Possibly sweet Charlyn!)
Singing Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny, Oh.

Here’s another classic square dance “call”:

You alamand left with your old left hand,
Partner right, go right and left grand,
You right and left till you meet your maid,
And take her by the hand and prominade, 
You prominade two, four, six, eight,
You prominade to the garden gate.

O.K. When I was right and left granding with ALL the girls I had the rapturous moment of touching Charlyn’s soft tiny hand.
I absolutely cannot adequately describe the thrill I felt when God allowed me to touch Charlyn’s childlike fingers.
( Oh, that’s right. She was a child at the time.)
OBSESSIVE? 
No! No way!
You would have felt the same way if you had gazed upon Charlyn’s adorable, angelic face.