Wednesday, April 21, 2021

We Need Peace And Love 

The frightening fire burns in skies above, We need peace, we need love...The hate that spews and moves from push to shove...We need peace, we need love!!

Deadly words that turn our hearts to hate, lost ability to mitigate...everyone is in an angry state...it seems that paradise will have to wait! 

Fighting in the streets...take off the gloves, We need peace we need love...worship of the hawk, but not the dove...We need peace, we need love!!

Killing of our brothers everywhere...kneeling on their necks like they don't care...pushing them 'till they fall down the stair...pretending that we are so unaware. 

We need peace...we need love that grows...we need compassion...everybody knows,

We need peace...we need love that's kind...we need to change our hating hearts and change twisted minds!! 

We need peace and love...love and peace, our empathy to increase...We need love and peace...peace and love...enough, is enough, enough is enough! 

 

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Taking A Rest From Blog 




I work best in the morning, so it's either write my blog, or do the 1000 little jobs I need to do, while the weather is good.

Thanks for reading!

I really appreciate you faithful friends who read this junk every day!

Now, where's my hatchet? I've got a stump to remove. 

 

Monday, April 12, 2021

Multiplying Our Happiness Exponentially!!!



If you take all the joyful things you've experienced throughout your life, add the happy times, throw in the pleasant days, and divide it with all the sad, depression events in your life, the answer should be at least 25.



If it's NOT 25, you need to do a lot more fun stuff to bring that number up, up, up!!! 



For example, let's say you've experienced 100 happy, joyful, pleasant events, and 4 sad, depressing times...

https://divisible.info/LongDivision/How-to-calculate-100/divided-by-4-using-long-division.html

Yes! Miraculously, the answer is 25!!

Of course, now you're thinkin' that happiness and sadness are beyond the control of mere mortals such as us, right?

Nay, my skeptical friends!



We can actually do stuff that will bring so much happiness, each day, that we will overwhelm all the stinkin' sadness that constantly tries to penetrate our potentially happy hearts!



Here is a limited list of thangs we can do to raise our happiness level...

1. Peel and eat a banana with no hands! Make sure someone is doing a video of it, so all the rest of us can be happy too!



2. Take a road trip to Goofy Ridge, Illinois, when you arrive there, do a goofy dance and hop back in the car singing an acapella version of "Dancin' Fool," by Frank Zappa, all the way home!


3. Take a morning shower, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed and shine your shoes...all at the same time! Once again, make sure you get a decent video of it, for posterity. 

pos·ter·i·ty
/päˈsterədē/
noun
  1. all future generations of people.
    "the victims' names are recorded for posterity"

4. Knock on your neighbors door at 4 am and ask if he/she is from another planet. When things start to get out of hand, offer him/her a bag of walnuts as a peace offering, and ask if you can be his/her best friend. What a way to bond with your nasty neighbors! 




5. Buy the largest bottle of vodka you can find! Purchase a thimble, because no one actually has a thimble anymore. Pour just a tiny drip  of the vodka into the thimble, toss it over your left shoulder, and drink what's left in the bottle! Happiness to the max, until they pump your tummy in the emergency room. 




The point is, uh, the POINT is, let's see...although a lot of sadness and happiness comes to us naturally, we can create our own happiness and unfortunately, sadness by our own activities, or lack of activities, or I don't know...just try to have a positive attitude, my dear friends! Even if MY attitude sucks!!!


Saturday, April 10, 2021

Photo Evidence Of REAL UFO!!

This ain't it ↑

I'm  issuing this UFO alert to all of you who may, or may not, believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial beings from distant worlds.



Yesterday evening, before I retired to bed, I went out to take pictures of the vast, star filled sky, as I'm oft to do.



Whilst gazing through the high powered lens of my Polaroid camera, at Alpha Cassiopeiae, I captured an unbelievably vivid image of a UFO, operated by an other-wordly creature! 



Although the image is a bit blurry, as UFO images always seem to be, you will clearly see the proof positive evidence before your earthly eyes! 

This ain't it, either ↑

Just a little "heads up" for ya. You might not want the chitlins to see this, to prevent future, lifelong nightmares in their little brains.

Image of a child's and cow's UFO nightmare ↑

So, without further ado, take a gander at the 8th wonder of the world, the photo that will change the course of history, the picture that will become more famous than the Mona Lisa..."UFO Mystery Solved!"

UFO Mystery Solved!! 

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Free Stuff Is A Glorious Thing!



So many people are spending their stimulus money like water flowing from a fire hose!

Pretend the water is money. Thanks! 

How do I know that? Due to the fact that the streets are literally lined with stuff people have thrown out, due to the fact they have purchased brand new stuff! 



In addition, folks have all kinds of construction projects going on, they're getting their trees trimmed, putting in swimming pools...due to the fact they have that extra stimulus cash, due to the fact the government sent it to almost everybody! 



Okay! Hands up from those who hate the phrase "due to the fact" right now. 



Serially, my friends, I see large boxes, old refrigerators, pre-owned ovens, used carpeting, ancient BBQ grills, etcetera, etcetera...lining the streets, more than EVER before!!



Thanks, Uncle Joe!!



Free stuff is a glorious thing!!



What could go wrong, right?



The junk guys are filling their pickup trucks with junk, we all have brand spankin' new items, and all's right with the world!



Only a freaking fool would think about a future economic disaster, super duper high taxes, China overtaking America in absolutely EVERYTHANG, economically, militarily, delicious Chinese foodilly, cute babies, Panda bears, etcetera, etcetera!!




It just doesn't matter when FREE STUFF is on the table!!! 



Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey! This ꜛ looks REALLY legit!!! 

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

 Out Of This World Wednesday...Be Careful What You Wish For



Let's go back to the last OOTWW, shall we?

Gary - "Life is good, Rosie girl! We are basking in the realization that planet Z70 will soon be free of all their mountains of trash, litter and garbage, due to the fact we turned them into super-goats with the ability to eat EVERYTHANG!"




Rosie - "For once, you're right, Gary! All we need to do is sit here and wait for....OH, NO!!!!!!"

Gary - "Oh, no, WHAT?"

Rosie - "Gary! Look through my portable stare-a-scope at planet Z70!!"




Gary - "Okay, Rosie...(Gary looks through the stare-a-scope) it's...it's...right up, I mean...it's right over...uh...IT"S GONE!!!"




Rosie - "Just what I feared, my friend. Not only did the populace of Z70, who we turned into super-goats, eat the trashy litter, but consumed the whole stinkin' planet!!!"

Gary - "That's not possiroo, Rosie!!"

Rosie - "Maybe not possible in a NORMAL universe, but this is Out Of This World Wednesday, where ANYTHANG can happen!!!"

Gary - "True. So how we gonna 'splain this to the High Command?"

Rosie - "No probleemo, Gary! No evidence, no foul!!"

Gary - "YES!! I'll just play dumb, Rosie girl!!"

Rosie - "Exactly! That's what you do best, Gary!!"

Well, well, well (a deep subject), it's like they say..."you can't win 'em all, they gave it the old college try...you win some, you lose some...destroying a whole planet and population is nuthin', compared to a whole solar system or universe,"
 so let's scratch this off to a lesson learned, okay?

A brand new adventure for Gary and Rosie begins next week! Don't forget to set your A.R.Ds (Alien Recording Devices) for the exciting, NEW episodes of....





Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Let's Boycott The Snot Outta Stuff!


 

Okay! We are really mad now!!! We need to go out and boycott Major League Baseball, Coca-Cola, Delta Airlines, JPMorgan Chase, ViacomCBS, Citigroup, Cisco, UPS, Merck.... and so many other corporations that are, uh, boycotting Georgia!!



Seems like there will be a LOT of boycottin' goin' on 'round here!!! 

 
    Boy Cotton                        Family Cotton       

However...I don't drink Coke, anyway. So how can I boycott them? I've seen those videos where someone pours Coke on a half a pound of baloney and a hole forms through the entire piece of fake meat! Hence, I stopped drinking Coke AND eating baloney!!



As for MLB, I haven't been to a live bazeball game since 1972. Even back then the prices were way too exorbitant for the average Joe. 

Average Joe? Questionable. 

I'm not taking out a loan to have a special day at the ballpark! The snacks alone would wipe out my bank account!!

Check out link, below ↓ if you don't believe me...

https://blog.cheapism.com/mlb-hot-dog-beer-prices/#close

So let's review this, shall we? Even though the Trumpster wants us to boycott Coke and MLB, it's impossiroo, if we do not partake of the products!



When it comes to Delta Airlines...I can't afford to fly.



JP Morgan Chase...I ain't got no money to invest.



Viacom CBS...Citigroup...Cisco...UPS...Merck...are businesses I am not associated with...I don't think. Unless they have subliminally crept into my innocent life without my knowledge. 



The point is, uh, let's see...I would LOVE to boycott the snot out of  ALL this stuff, but how can I, when I've avoided these businesses for many, many moons?



Just an afterthought, I have no problem with folks showing an I.D. to vote. 

We don't want alien visitors voting in our elections, do we? Sooner than you think, we'd be overrun with E.Ts, stealing our bicycles and blocking out the many moons!



Monday, April 5, 2021

Infrastructure Bill Another 2 Trill!!



There is so much talk about the infrastructure bill recently. 

 Infra- means "below;" so the infrastructure is the "underlying structure" of a country and its economy, the fixed installations that it needs in order to function. These include roads, bridges, dams, the water and sewer systems, railways and subways, airports, and harbors. These are generally government-built and publicly owned. Some people also speak about such things as the intellectual infrastructure or the infrastructure of science research, but the meaning of such notions can be extremely vague.

I happen to disagree with the above definition, as I disagreed with the "covid relief" bill stuff. 



A better description of these bills is a huge money grab from politicians who use legitimate problems to rake in trillions in illegitimate cash! 



It's kind of like the unscrupulous person who goes door to door, collecting money for the family who lost everything in a tornado.



Of course, you're willing to give a donation to help the poor family. What a good cause!

Then, you find out only 1% went to the devastated family, and the rest of the cash was spent on a vacation for the collector of the contributions!



What the?! 

I can't dwell on that dirty, political subterfuge very long, or I'll go TOTALLY nuts! 



I'm already 99% nuts, but I don't wanna be TOTALLY nuts! I won't be able to buy an "assault weapon" if I'm TOTALLY nuts! 




Just kidding about the "assault weapon." Don't need one. My hands and feet are already registered as lethal weapons, in the country of Albania. 




Fact is, even if I had an assault weapon and had to use it on some crazy terrorist or violent rioter, I'd be sad the rest of my life, that I took away someone's opportunity for changing  his/her ways. 



Yes. I know I'd be protecting my family, but my conscience would still bug me...a lot!!



I pray I never have to face that situation. I'm real bad during panic/emergency/critical events, unlike friends I have who have worked at "first responder" jobs and thrive on helping folks in life threatening emergencies.




Thank God for folks like that, and doctors who don't faint at the sight of blood, and people who devote their entire lives to saving poor, abused animals, even when the scared animals try to bite them, and all the individuals who do jobs that most of us hope we never have to do!



Whoops, I was supposed to be writing about infrastructure and swerved off the road! Got a bit derailed. Well, that's water under the bridge.