How To Tell If You're Truly Losing It 

Have you been noticing that EVERYBODY is asking you if you're losing it? No? Well, it happens to me all the time!!! Why?!! Why, why, why, why, WHY?!!!!! 

I think there is a big difference between "losing it" and being in complete control of your madness! 

Here are just a few clues to let you know if you are truly "losing it" ........ 

1. You are truly losing it...if you walk backwards everywhere you go, because you want to see where you've been, instead of where you're going. 

2. You are truly losing it....if instead of watching TV, you sit very still, to allow your TV to watch YOU. 

3. You are truly losing it... if you talk to your dog, but you don't have a dog. 

4. You are truly losing it...if you stopped drinking booze, and started inhaling pickle juice.

5. You are truly losing it...if you wear a mask at a sophomore basketball game, but not a surgical mask... a mask of Alice Cooper. 

6. You are truly losing it...if you read a nonsensical blog every day that will warp your brain, unless you wrap your head in tin foil. 

7. You are truly losing it...if you do NOT think the moon landing was faked, but believe in human-artichokes.

8. You are truly losing it... if you have a re- occurring dream that you're flying, then wakeup with bird poop on your wings.

9. You are truly losing it... if you are planning for that "bucket trip," and have a bucket phobia. 

10. You are truly losing it...if you trust everythang you hear on the news, politicians, used car salesmen/women, and Nigerian princes, but dismiss anythang from a brilliant, handsome dude like me.