Out Of This World Wednesdays
Last week I changed Who, what, where, when, why, how Wednesdays to something more dear to my heart...
Things out of this world, world, world, world, world!!!
Here is the fascinating continuation of..
THE GLIRKAZOIDS
I cannot destroy Glirka ( Um, I mean, let Oglama destroy Glirka) without giving you a brief, mesmerizing, mind altering, virtual tour of the baby blue planet.
You are beamed down to a hill of flowers that have grown “incredibly high!"
( Now, remember children; Glirka has already blown up a long time ago, so this is one of those going back in time things that we always see in the movies.)
The unending variety of gorgeous flowers are so breathtaking it causes you to puke your guts out, which is the normal reaction to the flowers on Glirka. ( It’s O.K. Everybody does it.)
Feeling better now, you look out to the horizon.
It is a surreal, dreamlike scene that resembles a newly discovered “Van Gogh” masterpiece... only bigger!
The mixed pink, purple and yellow mountains of Glirka are shaped like “Devo" hats. (Remember; upside down flower pots?)
(Warning! Venturing too close to these unique mountains can cause ZITS due to the natural chemicals they emit!)
ANCIENT GLIRKAZOID POEM
Our mountains look like “Devo” hats,
Or maybe Mayan temples,
But never get too close to them,
‘cause they will give you pimples!
As you raise your astonished eyes to the heavens, you are awestruck by the “fire engine red” clouds that form shapes of Macy’s Day Parade balloons, floating against a “Kermit green” sky.
(O.K. Now, let me remind you kids once again. Glirka is bye-bye. These once beauteous vista’s are just burned up pieces of space dust at the present time. Thank you.)
Walking in the ever present swirling blue mist makes every step feel as if you are sleepwalking in a , uh, lets see, BLUE MIST.
The sun that gently warms the inhabitants of Glirka, looks exactly like the sun on the “Raisin Bran box, with the face, scoop and everything!
All the lovely trees of Glirka, look like Christmas trees.
They grow that way.
Even the bubble lights grow naturally, like vines, and climb up, up, ‘round and ‘round to the top of the trees for sparkling illumination! How cool is that?!
The rivers that twist and turn across the Glirkazoidian landscape are flowing with, life giving, “glirf.”
“Glirf” is the purple liquid that meanders down the river beds, fills the lakes and seas, and tastes like (you guessed it) grape Nehi.
The vast array of wildlife on this diverse and really, really cool planet is almost too incomprehensible for our little brains to, uh,…….COMPREHEND.
( Lest we forget, all of this wildlife was turned into “crispy critters” when the planet exploded in an awesome display of destructive and cataclysmic beauty!)
Here is a short list of Glirkan animals and “creepy crawlers” that lurked, flew, swam, slithered and generally hung out on Glirka long, long ago.
Glions and gligers and glares, oh my!
Glizards...Glonkeys…
Well, maybe this ancient and traditional poem will explain everything in a way that even I can understand.
( I’ll try and keep up.)
Ancient, Traditional Poem
The glions look like koala bears,
The gluppies look like sharks,
The glelephants are baby birds,
The gli-cats; dogs that bark.
The glrats resemble horses,
Gliraffs are tiny snails,
A Glirkan glippopotomus,
Looks like a flying squirrel
The glady bugs are camels,
The glokadiles are trout,
Hey, Glirka is a crazy world,
That soon will be “snuffed out.”
( How prophetic)
Here’s a Glirkazoidian “ditty” that was a favorite among the super intelligent infants of the now incinerated planet:
( Sung to the tune of, “The Big Rock Candy Mountain.”)
Oh, the buzzin’ of the glees,
And the glycamore trees,
The sweet “glirf” soda fountains,
The glemonade springs where the glu bird sings,
In the Glirkazoidan mountains.
In the Glirkazoidan mountains,
All the gyails are made of tin,
And you can beam right out again,
As soon as you get in.
In the Glirkazoidan mountains,
All the “gleebops” have no legs,
And you never see that “ALIEN” beast,
Popping out those creepy eggs.
Oh, I want to glow,
From electric snow,
Watch the rivers flow,
Where the “glirf” runs slow,
And you don’t need “dough”,
In the Glirkazoidan mountains.
(Now, wasn’t that precious?)
The cities of Glirka were a sight to behold!
Have you ever been to San Francisco?
Well, Glirkan cities didn’t look like San Francicco.
How about, New York city?
No. They didn’t look like New York, either.
Wait! I’ve got it!
Have you ever been to Phoenix?
O.K. Good!
Did you see those FANTASTIC homes that were built in to the sides of the mountains?
Great!
That’s it.
That’s what the cities of Glirka looked like.
( Confidentually, the mountain homes of Phoenix were designed by ex-patriated Glirkazoids.)
We are running out of tom, so lets get back to the total obliteration of Glirka.
(TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEDNESDAY)
