OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Ameritis Gabbinious Trivilosis

Rosie is ailing from a rare disease, by the name of Ameritis Gabbinious Trivilosis, which causes the victim to spontaneously spout trivial information from American history, even though it hasn't occured yet. 

"How can she do that," you ask? 

It's because time is cyclical...NOT linear.

(namely, the 

I don't get it, either.

As we peer into the belly of the Silver Sausage spazeship, that is taking our diminutive Glirkazoid  friends to Neprotonicus 12, so they can deliver the power source (namely, the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11) to the powerless Neprotonicans, we see that Rosie is still under the weather...

Rosie - "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale..♪♪

Gary - "Rosie! Stop! As long as you keep rambling on with this stupid American trivia, we are doomed to fail in our mission to take the Great Jewel Of..."

Rosie - "See the U.S. A. in your Chevrolet, America is asking you to call...♪♪

Right when all seems lost, there is a knock on the hatch of the Silver Sausage spazeship!

Gary opens the hatch and it's U.P.O. S. (United Parcels  Of Space

Gary - "Rosie! Look! It's a potion from Moonszawitz , that will cure your Ameritis Gabbinious Trivilosis! How did she know? Dumb question, right? She ALWAYS knows!!" 

Gary pours the potent potion into Rosie's mouth and she IMMEDIATELY recites the Glirkazoid Pledge Of Allegiance, which confirms her debilitating illness is bye bye!! 

Glirkazoid Pledge Of Allegiance

(Just in case you're interested)

I pledge allegiance to the phlagg,

And the United Snakes of Glirka,

 Unto the redundant, forget it strands,

                    One Nathum, Under Bob,            

With lizardry and bugsuits for Al.

Gary - "Well done, Rosie! That brought tears to my elongated eyes, girl! I'm glad you're back amongst the living!"

Rosie - "Me too, Gary! Thanks to the AMAZING Moonszawitz, I don't have to spend eternity in the virtual depths of America's nonsensical culture of their 20th/21st centuries!! Although it DID seem like a fun period of time!" 

Gary - "I liked their Ford Mustangs! The red ones!"

Rosie - "Why don't you "erackisacle" one, after the mission is done?"

The Jetsons had a "food erackisacle" that created food instantly.

Gary - "Sounds like fun, honey bun!"

Rosie - "Honey bun!!! Aren't we getting a bit personal?!!"

Gary - "Whoops! Sorry! I was just making a silly rhyme, Vice Admiral, or whatever your official rank happens to be." 

Rosie - "No matter. Let's trek on to Neprotonicus 12 and bring buckets of  joy to the Neprotonicans, as they enjoy having light, heat, A.C., power tools, and all kinds of  time saving devices from the power of the GREAT JEWEL OF NEPROTONICUS 12!!"

Gary - "Most importantly, they will be able to chill their universally famous, Neprotonican Nectar,  whoo hoo!!"

Rosie - "When we get to Neprotonicus 12, you ain't touchin' that nasty, Neprotonican Nectar!! You know what happened the last time you partook of that stuff, right?"

Gary - "I really don't remember a thing. All I know is I woke up with a bad headache, lying on a Geezap funeral pyre, with 30,000 Geezaps dancing around me, ready to light me up!"

Rosie - "Yeah! I should have left you there, but noooo, I had to save your burnin' butt!"

As they are reminiscing, we observe the shimmering Silver Sausage spazeship approaching the magnificently gorgeous planet of Neprotonicus 12!

Is this it? Has the mission finally succeeded? Have our Glirkazoid gadabouts won again, in spite of the insurmountable odds? Are there more dangers awaiting our fearless "foo fighters?" 

Discover these answers, and MORE, in next Wednesday's...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!

Do You Share Your Special Gift?

What can I say about a day like today? Not much! It's Tuesday. Blah day. No hip hip hoorah day. (hooray didn't rhyme)

However, my special gift is to make others joyful! Even on a rotten, cold, moist day, such as today.

Who said, "You've been writing this stupid blog for years and haven't made me joyful YET!"

Okay...how's about tickled? No?

Amused? Mildly happy? Confused? Afraid? ANYTHiNG?!!

No matter. When God has given you a gift, you need to share it, no matter how many folks reject your uncanny abilities! (Uncanny: When you cannot remove something from a can)

For example...Bob Dylan. (Dylan fans need not read this)

Bob Dylan (AKA Robert Zimmerman) had a terrible voice, was not the handsomest dude on the planet, a mediocre guitar player, but WAS an AMAZING song writer!! (Why am I saying WAS, I think he's still alive) (I Googled it. He IS still alive. 78)

Anyway...in spite of his shortcomings, he was compelled to share his gift of songwriting, and the rest is folk music history!

So let's focus back in on me, me, ME! I'll NEVER be on the same level of famousness as Bob Dylan, Tiny Tim, Neil Young, Rosemary Clooney, Burt Convy, Alfred E. Neuman, Sally Struthers, Harry Potter, or any of those folks, BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, I will share my questionable gift with all whom are willing to suffer through it! 

As for all of you faithful readers...think back to when you were babies. Well, maybe that's too far back. Think back to when you first realized what your special gift was. 

Maybe it was singing, or being kind to others, or bowling, or balancing things on your nose, like a seal, or sewing, or cooking, or fishing, or spitting long distances...whatever it was...are you sharing it with others today?!! 

Wouldn't the whole wide worm  world be more joyful if you exposed your special gift to everyone with whom you came in contact?! 

Sure it would! 

For instance...an outer spaze alien, disguised as a human, comes to Earth, wanting to find out if we are worth saving.

If we earthlings don't share our gifts, we will be in danger of being emulsificated with their emulsificator weapon!

On the other hand, if we share our gifts of singing, dancing, cooking, spitting (not sure about spitting), we can assure the inquisitive alien that we are worth our salt! (I don't know what salt has to do with anything, but that's what my grandpa used to say)

In conclusion...even if outer spaze aliens are not watching (yeah, right), we can entertain, and make joyful, our earthly brothers and sisters by sharing our special gifts, as lowly and insignificant as we think they are!

Go out and share now! Share! Share!

Cher!

Singing At Church Sunday...GULP!!

This is not me...but a good facsimile!

I'm singing at church again this coming Sunday. It is an honor and terrifying situation, at the same time.

Although I've sang in front of people all my life, I still shake like a leaf, like when I first performed in front of an audience.

Especially now, due to the fact my eyes and ears don't work as well as when I was young, so I don't hear the music as clearly, and can't see the lyrics as well.

Not me...but reasonable facsimile.

I try not to have lyrics in front of me, but my memory is pretty much shot, as well. 

So, here I am, doing something that should bring honor to God Almighty, and I can't see, hear, remember, stop shaking, or hit those high notes like I used to! 

What I do, do, is pray that the song touches the hearts of the listeners, no matter how much I mess up. 

I must say, out of all the times I sang at school, in bands, on the radio...NOTHING is more humbling and exciting than to sing in service to Jesus...even though it still scares me to death! (Not LITERALLY to DEATH)

Not that I think God will strike me down if I blow the song, but I want to do what will make our Creator happy! 

In fact, I have blown a lot of songs, and God still has me sing in church, anyway! Thank YOU!

If you ever see me singing at church, and I look calm and confident, I'm NOT!

So pray for me, that I get through it without falling on my face. 

I will be singing "The Anchor Holds" on Sunday. A song that fits me well, and everybody who has had "storms" in their lives. 

I need to practice now. 

HAVE A MAGICAL, MAJESTIC MONDAY!!!