8 Foolproof Steps For Removing Stress And Anger

Removing ourselves from the stress and anger of this tumultuous world is not as hard as it seems.

I used to be a big news hound, displaying an unquenchable thirst for news, because it was REAL!

Real? What's real anymore? Real is whatever "THEY" say is real on the particular network you're watching. 

So, step number one in removing anger and stress is...

1. Stop watching the news. In fact, get someone who's a geek or nerd to delete all of the news channels from your T.V. (if that's even possible), and listen to old records (if you still have a record player), of happy songs by Mitch Miller or Burl Ives. 

2. Keep repeating to yourself, "there is no bad news, there is no bad news, everything is A-Okay, everything is A-Okay," even though you know you're telling a big fib to yourself. 

3. Adopt too many pets. They'll  keep you so busy you'll forget about the world coming to an end in 12 years, according to AOC! How many pets? So many that when anybody walks into your home they'll say, "don't you think you have too many pets?"

4. Listen to the Greg And Dan Radio Show every morning between, about, 5:20 AM to 9:00 AM, and you'll get everything you need to know about world events, but with a funny twist. You'll also hear some of my hilarious stuff from time to time on there, and YES, I DO believe in self promotion when it comes to ME, ME, ME!!

5. Watch entertaining YouTube videos. There are millions of 'em! Here are a few examples of some that will brighten your day...

6. Do NOT discuss politics with ANYONE, or religion, or Cubs versus Cardinals, or if toilet paper should go over the top, away from the wall, or under, along the wall, or deep dish pizza compared to thin crust, or..or...well...don't discuss ANYTHING!!

7. Keep eating everything you enjoy! Eating is probably the biggest stress reliever imaginable! Although, when you hit 600 pounds, the massive food costs and hospital bills will bring on more stress, but that won't be for a long time, if you last that long. 

8. Focus on helping others. There is an old Native American saying, " If the moccasins of your brother are worn down, and his bow is broken, and his quiver is empty of arrows, and his teeth are falling from his mouth like pine cones from a tree, and his teepee  is filled with holes, remember, the red fox always dances with the chickens at the full moon."

I guess you have to be Native American to understand the true meaning, but just be nice to others and your life will be less angry and stressful most of the time, but if you're driving in Chicago traffic, there's no preventing stress and anger, so we'll make an exception for ya there.