OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
EPISODE VIII
The Flying Fortress Of Platinum...One mile straight up! Your mileage may vary!
How, oh how will our group of outer spaze characters (they are characters, alright) manage to reach the Flying Fortress Of Platinum, to regain possession of the Golden Chicken Of Kluck?
Let's join our "Fearless Five"....
Big Gaz - "Graplin' hooks mates! We need to use graplin' hooks to climb up to the bloody fortress!"
Just watch the second portion of this clip, starting at 26 seconds.
Gounderus - "You can't be serious, Big Gaz! Didn't you ever watch Inspector Clouseau try to storm a castle, using a grappling hook?"
Big Gaz - "Yeah, mate! I just watched it in the clip provided! I only watched the second part, starting at 26 seconds, and avoided that old joke in the first part."
Gounderus - " Well, didn't it teach you anything?"
Big Gaz - "Sure, but I don't remember what, mate!"
Gounderus "Besides, the Flying Fortress is one mile high, give or take a few meters! How could we ever throw grappling hooks a mile straight up? That's 1.609304 kilometers to you!"
Rosie - "Guys, I have an idea!"
Gary - "Rhymy, what do you think we should do?"
Rhymesauce - " Pogo stick...trampoline...would not give desired result...kite, too flimsy, springs too weak...why not build a catapult?"
Gary - "Interesting idea, Rhymy! But it would have to be one hell of a big catapult to fling us 1.609304 kilometers!"
Rosie - "Dudes! I have an idea!!"
Big Gaz - "Too bad we deep sixed those bloody dragons, mates. We coulda lassoed those big blue lizards and flew 'em up to the Fickle Finger Of Fate, uh, I mean, uh, the Flyin' Fortress Of Platinum!"
Rosie - (Waving her little arms around to try and get the attention of the group) "Listen to me, you idiots, I have a way..."
Gary - "My word, it seems to me that NONE of us can come up with a decent plan to get up to the Flying Fortress, so I guess we'll have to abandon the..."
Rosie shoots off a mighty blast from her blaster that gets everyone's attention!!
Rosie - " OKAY...the next moron who interrupts me will get a blast in your recreational, procreational area, get it?!!
In perfect unison they all say, "got it!"
Rosie - "I just so happen to have a remote control switch for the Silver Sausage spazeship, and all I need to do is click this button to bring it here to fly us up to the Flying Fortress Of Platinum, kapeesh?!"
Gary - "Why didn't you tell us that in the first place, Rosie, instead of wasting all this time?"
At that, Rosie screams a scream of disgust (kind of like uuugh), and takes aim at the aforementioned "family jewels" of Gary, which prompts the whole lot of them to run in terror!
Meanwhile...back in the Flying Fortress Of Platinum, the evil genius, Swyparooski begins to speak to his trusted and rusted servant, Bosco.
Bosco
Swyparooski- "Sooo, Bosco...we now know that the Fabulous Five have defeated our big blue dragons, and will soon summon the Silver Sausage to fly them up here to steal the Golden Chicken Of Kluck that I stole from them 222, 000 years ago!"
Bosco - "How do you know all that, Lord Swyparooski? Is it the "forze?"
Swyparooski - "Heck no! I've been keeping up with the OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY blog like EVERYONE should!"
Bosco - "What is your evil, dastardly plan to prevent Gary, Rosie, Rhymesauce, Gounderus and Big Gaz from regaining the precious Golden Chicken Of Kluck, master?"
Swyparooski - " How do you know the names of the Fabulous Five, Bosco?"
Bosco - "I calculated all of the infinite possibilities, using my robotic brain, along with the forze, of what individuals had even the remotest chance of making it this far, and generated the names of these legendary spaze warriors!"
Swyparooski -Liar! You've been reading OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, haven't you?"
Bosco - "Yeah."
Swyparooski - " As to your previous question about my evil, dastardly plan, all I can say is...
Swyperooski begins to laugh one of those really scary, sadistic, echoing laughs like you always hear evil villains laughing in movies, and then Bosco begins to laugh, and then everyone in the castle begins to laugh in exactly the same way as Dr. Evil did in that Austin Powers movie!
The Fab Five are all boarding the Silver Sausage to embark on what could be the most egg-citing adventure of all tom!
As they are entering the ship and securing all the weapons and other gear they will need, listen to my rendition of this old Neil Young
classic, and you will marvel at how well it applies to this particular activity...especially if you're stoned to the gills!
Are you listening to the song?
Good!
The Fab Five walk up the silver ramp to enter the ship, as the blue Sophomore sun is setting on the horizon so beautifically.
Are you SURE you're listening to the song? I'll know if y'all are lying!
Gounderus begins to check out his weapon of choice... gopher chucks.
This is NOT Gounderus, but those are gopher chucks.
Rhymesauce grabs Gary's cloak of invisibility, and tries it on.
This is NOT Rhymesauce, but there is a stunning resemblance!
Still enjoying the song? What do you mean you NEVER enjoyed it!
Big Gaz prepares with his power liquid refreshment tonic.
Rosie changes into her ultra hot, Super Rosie, super hero suit!
She should wear this more often!
Finally, we see Gary cleaning his mighty, endless shot, proton powered, deadly emulsificator weapon!
As you keep listening to my poor imitation of Neil Young, you see an outside view of the Silver Sausage, and through the portholes the powerful, closeup images of the serious faces of each individual member of the Fab Five, while the gleaming ship slowly rises, rises, rises in the direction of the Flying Fortress Of Platinum.
I don't know about you, but my narration of that last paragraph gave me chills! No, wait, it must be the popsicle I inadvertently sat on. My bad!
Will you join us next week for chapter IX of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY?
Oh, I hope so...or I'm writing this for nothing but the therapeutic, cathartic benefit alone.
I guess that's okay as well. I don't know!
Song not over yet?
Shut the damn thing off!!
