Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Action Movies Disappoint Me Anymore


I've been doing good at avoiding the "news" this past week or so.




I feel much better, not so frustrated, or angry, or constantly irritated. 




I've been substituting ACTION MOVIES for the news, but the action movies of today are far more FAKE than the action movies I grew up watching. 




Computer Generated Images, and other things, have made the new action movies much too unbelievable for my critical brain to accept.

Way back when, James Bond would do stuff that was reasonably doable. I know it was a stunt man actually doing it, but it was something SOMEBODY could really do.





Buster Keaton Stunts...No CGI!

With CGI, the hero is doing something that NOBODY could do in a million years in real life!


You need to watch the clip below to understand my point.















Did you watch it? I hope so, because the rest of this won't make sense unless you do. 

Let's analyze this impossible scene for a few seconds.

Vin Diesel crashes the car through the windows with enough force to propel him to the next building, with out hitting any obstacles, desks, filing cabinets, steel girders, people or nuttin' honey! He flies to the next building where he, once again,  never encounters any obstacles, desks, filing cabinets, steel girders, people, concrete reinforcement or nuttin' to stop his momentum! Then, on to the next building, where...at this point, I've already lost any measure of believability, they jump out of the speeding car without a scratch!

Seriously?




They are asking too much for us to believe this crappola, like in the action movie gun fights. 




The numerous bad guys (usually a dozen or more) have super automatic machine guns that fire a thousand bullets a second, while Keanu Reeves or Tom Cruise only have a pistol! The bad guys keep consistently missing, while the good guys are picking off the bad guys one by one, or (even more unbelievable) sneaking up on them and using martial arts skills to rip their throats out, or worse!





Another thing that always bugs me are the hanging scenes. I don't mean like in the old western movies, where they are hanging a rustler, but hanging from a cliff, or a helicopter, or hot air balloon rope, often with one hand! 




Most of us, especially the hefty ones like me, would NOT be able to hang from someone's hand or a rope for more that .05 seconds before we dropped, unceremoniously, to our certain demise! 




In the movies people hang from a rope with one hand, for 10 minutes, while a helicopter is flying at 100 miles an hour!



Really? 

Picture our hero, whomever he may be, gets into a fight with ten guys. Instead of the ten guys rushing him all at once, they take him on one by one, to give him a chance to kick their tuckuses! Or is that tuckii?




While Daniel Craig is busy with the bad guy in front of him, why don't the others knock him on the head from behind? I know, sometimes that does happen, but not often enough!






Of course, it's the CGI "magic" that disturbs me the most! How THEY make trains fly over a deep chasm where the trestle has been blown up! That train would drop like an anvil in real life!




I can understand how AMAZING things can happen in a Syfy movie, or even a comedy, but it takes the interest away for me when the movie makers try to make us believe the impossible can happen, when we know it really can't.






What's up with that? The movie folks must think we are dumb! 

I guess we are! We keep watching this stuff! 

I know, I do!