ACTOR WITH ROLE OF FAMOUS SCIENTIST CLAIMS THE BEATLES WERE TIME TRAVELERS!

Bert Lipshitz, a Brooklyn, New York actor (67 years of age) who is portraying Stephen Hawking in an off, off Broadway play entitled "I'm Way Smarter Than You, Shit For Brains", has used the "unscientific method" to prove the Fab Four were actually time travelers .

Lipshitz had what he called,"an epiphany" while playing the part of Hawking, and involuntarily/unconsciously scribbled "Time Travelers, Beatles Were"(kind of like Yoda would say it) on the armrest of his wheelchair. 

He then began his unscientific research that has led him  to conclude that the only way the Beatles could have created such awesomely stunning music is through time travel! (Echoing) Time travel, time travel, time travel...

"Lets think back about 40  years ago, Lipshitz related to me in an exclusive interview, and we were high on purple haze and listening to the GOOD side of the Abbey Road album (or was it Magical Mystery Tour?), and we came to the indisputable truth that the Beatles were aliens from some highly developed, stunningly beautiful universe and no one could convince us otherwise!" 

Me..Yeah, I remember! It was the Abbey Road album (the side that started with "Here Comes The Sun") and it wasn't purple haze, it was blotter, pure stuff, no nervous side effects or nothin'! 

Lipshitz...Did you believe the Beatles were from another planet?

Me...Sure...still do!

Lipshitz...Wrongo, Beatle Brainless!!!!
They were from the future, man! 
They were time travelers... (serious echo effect) time travelers...time travelers...time travelers..
Like so many who were playing that "narcotic" music in our youthful hayday (echoing hayday) hayday...hayday...hayday...(too much echoing?)

Me...What evidence do you have that the Beatles, and other various and sundry musicians were time travelers, Poindexter?

Lipshitz..The songs dude, the songs!!!
Here is a list of time traveling musicians. and the songs that give them away!

     Jim Croce                           Time In A Bottle 
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you.

Lipshitz...The words are a dead givaway, can't you see? 

The "bottle " is the time machine that can "save everyday 'till ETERNITY passes away just to spend them with you!" 

This should be clear even to a "time snail" like y.., I mean...

The members of the band Chicago were major time travelers, as we can see from this classic time traveling song:

         Chicago..Does AnybodyReally Know What Time It Is?

Of course not! How would you ever REALLY know what time it is if you were constantly bouncing around from one time period to another!!

Now, back to the Beatles. (that would be a good name for an album) I have discovered so much foolproof, solid evidence that the Beatles were time travelers that you'll say, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Read these TELLING lyrics and you will be in awe over my brilliant unscientific method of finding the time traveling truth about the Liverpool Lads!

Cause I got the real love
The kind that you need
Youll come running back (said you would, baby)
Youll come running back (I always said you would)
Youll come running back, to me
Yes time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Oh, time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
I said, time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Oh, time, time, time is on my side
Yeah, time, time, time is on my side

Ah Haa! You understand now, do you not!!!

The Beatles are here admitting that TIME, TIME,TIME..is on their side!

They have total control of time!

Yes it is, they keep repeating!!!!

Me..Uh, Mr. Lipshitz, I hate to tell you this, but that is a Rolling Stones song.

Lipshitz...Are you sure? 

Me.. Yeah, pretty sure, Bert.

Lipshitz..Dammit, I wonder if I'll have to return my 10 million in research funding from the government?