Boot-edge-edge Is OUT!

I remember some of the most astounding things that shocked me over my 3 score and 9 years of life.

Sonny and Cher breaking up. The Beatles breaking up. Martin and Lewis breaking up. Color TV. Jiffy pop. The 2016 election of D.J. Trump...but NOT the dropping out of Boot-edge-edge yesterday!

1. His name is too weird! Even professional newsfolk have trouble with his name! Booty-gees...Buda-jiz...Buta-judge? 

2. He looks too much like Alfred E. Neuman.

3. He's too calm and nice. That ain't gonna work in today's political spectrum!

4. He calls himself a "hoosier," which is considered a derogatory term, unless you live in Indiana and understand it's a compliment for, um, "hoosiers!" 

If you're walking through a park in South Bend, Indiana and greet someone with, "Hi, you big hoosier," you'll get a smile and a wave.

If you're walking through Forrest Park, in St. Louis, Mo., and greet someone with, "Hi, you big hoosier," you'll get punched in the face!

5. Boot-edge-edge is WAY too young at 38! Politicians NEED to have one foot in the grave before Americans will vote for them! A minimum of 75 years old! So he has a LONG way to go!!

Following song sung to tune of Back off Boogaloo...

Bye-bye Boot-edge-edge,

Don't you jump off from a ledge,

Bye-bye Boot-edge-edge-edge.

Bye- bye Boot-edge-edge,

Although you speak 8 languages,

Boot-edge-edge you're campaign is dead!