While the brutal, despicable Ice-Us alien monsters
get ready to invade the wonderful planet of Glirka,
by freezing the inhabitants, while they joyfully
celebrate Glirkmas so innocently, our heroes are
busy shopping for Glirkmas gifts for each udder!
Rosie - "Oh, my stars! There it is! The PERFECT gift
for Gary!! This has to be the weirdest thing I could
ever give him!"
20 stores away...
Gary - " I can't find ANYTHING for Rosie!! I HATE
Glirkmas shopping!! Maybe I'll get hints from
Rosie's Spazebook page."
A few hours later...
Gary - "Eureka! I found what Rosie wants by reading
her Spazebook page!"
We now switch to the bridge of the Ice-Us warship,
where the Ice-Us commander begins to speak in his
gravelly, irritating voice, kind of like the way a
cement mixer would sound.
Ice-Us Commander - (Laughs a mean, evil laugh)
"Bwa ha ha, ha ha! Very soon, we will turn the
planet of Glirka into a big round popsicle, and end
all of their stupid Glirkmas celebrations
FOREVER!!"
Ice-Us First Mate - "Why, Commander? I think
Glirkmas is kind of cool!"
At that, the Commander commands security to
totally disintegrates his First Mate!
Security
Ice-Us Commander - "Anyone else think Glirkmas is
cool?!!"
No answer from anyone from the entire crew!!!
Let us now switch gears, and observe the
celebratory celebrations, preparation, and
perspiration of the Glirkazoids, as they
prepare for the superglirkafragilistic day of
Glirkmas!
Picture in your imaginatary mind, multi-colored
lights, blinking and twinkling along the vertical
boulevards of Glrka, while Glirkmas songs are sung
gleefully in the midst of the blue hazy mist that
covers the planet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and
weekends!
Traditional songs like "Joy To The Worms," "We
Three Kings Of Are We In Tar," Rude Alf The Red
Nosed Alien," and "It Came Upon A Midlife Beer,"
fill the blue air!
The Salavation Army is ringing it's bells outside the
Super Nova Markets to give away money to
passersby, while the little tiny tots are waiting
eagerly for Canta Slaus, to give him their precious
lumps of coal that he hands out to the wealthy!
We rejoin the horribly ugsville, Ice-Us Commander
right now...
Ice-Us Commander - "Bwaa ha ha ha!! It is now
Glirkmas day, and let's use the steroscope to focus
in on our arch enemies, Gary and Rosie, as they
carry on with their stupid Glirkmas giving...and then
I will activate the "Deep Freeze" machine to cover
the entire planet in 100 miles of frozen ice!!"
New First Mate - "I thought ALL ice was frozen,
Commander!"
Ice- Us Commander - "SECURITY!"
The new first mate has met his fate for criticizing
the Supreme Commander!
Now we see how the steroscope begins to zoom in
on the planet of Glirka, through the clouds, trees,
and all the way into the Silver Sausage spazeship,
where Rosie and Gary abide...even when it's docked!
The hideous Ice-Us Commander is eager to watch
our heroes freeze their little antennas off, but first
he wants to watch a bit of their ridiculously stupid
gift giving, before they go to a frozen tomb of
DEATH!!
Rosie - (Hands Gary a package) "Merry Glirkmas my
wonderful, faithful pard!"
Gary - " Is this one of those wacky, goofy gifts like
you always give? (He begins to unwrap it)
"Oh, my, Rosie! This is (Gary wipes a tear from his
eye) the most wonderful gift imaginable, so
thoughtful, sincere and priceless!
"The complete set of "The 3 Stooges" DVD's, The
Directors Cut!!!
"This is the greatest gift EVER, my super friend!!!
"Thanks a billion toms!!!!"
Rosie - "You're very welcome, my sweet Gary!
As the dirty, filthy Ice-Us Commander watches this
on his steroscope, his beliefs are confirmed!
Ice-Us Commander - "Aha!! The 3 Stooges?!! This
proves that Glirkmas is just a bunch of silly
nonsense that needs to be put out of existence!
The mean, ugly commander looks into the
steroscope again...
Gary - (Looks into Rosie's eyes and says) "I saw what
you wrote on Spazebook, you said"..."This year if
I could have a miracle I'd give it to all my friends who
have cancer or someone they love to be cured forever
from this disease.
