OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Episode Six

When we last visited our wild and kwazy super heroes, Rosie and Gary, they were being visited by Big Gaz and Rhymesauce, super heroes who "transmigraphated" from the planet Earth with a BOOM!

Big Gaz                                                               Rhymesauce

Gary - "Hey, dudes! Good to see ya! Wuz up!"

Rhymesauce - "Supreme Glirkheads, planet Glirka, 

Swyparooski, wearing a burka,

Rosie and Gary, Golden Chicken Of Kluck, platinum eggs, we give a flock!"

Big Gaz - "In other words, mates, the Supreme Glirkheads contacted us, and told us about your mission to take back the Golden Chicken of Kluck, and since we give a flock, we will help you out, ya little wombat poops!"

Rosie - "Are you sayin' we're square, Big Gaz?"

Big Gaz - "Just gammin you blokes a bit! Now what direction are we headin'?"

Gary - "We ain't headin' NO direction with you two!!!

How do we know that you're not gonna steal the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that lays platinum eggs, for your own selves, and take it back to Earth, buy a private island, have big parties, invite celebrities, like Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers, and leave us dry and high!"

Rosie - "Shut your dumb mouth, Gary! Big Gaz and Rhymesauce have been our friends for millions of years! If we can't trust them, we can't trust NOBODY!"

Big Gaz - "No worries, mates! We'll just get out of your hair, g'day!"

Rhymesauce - "Richard Nixon, Hillary Clinton, fake gold bars, covered in rust, Bagdad Bob, Geraldo Rivera, Al Capone's Treasure, who can you trust?"

At that, they both disappeared as quickly as they blasted unto them, to use a little biblical lingo for ya!

Rosie - "You big knucklehead! You hurt their feelings!"

Gary - "Don't you see, Rosie?!! It was all a ploy! A ploy, I tell ya, to grab OUR Golden Chicken Of Kluck!"

Rosie - "You're losing it, old friend! Didn't you ever watch The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre?!"

Now the scene changes to the Flying Fortress Of Platinum, where Swyparooski is feelin' ANOTHER disturbance in the forze!

I know this Swiperooski looks different, but he's a shapeshifter!

Swyparooski - "I feel a GREAT disturbance/premonition in the forze, Bosco! I sense two Glirkazoidian, legendary heroes will storm the Flying Fortress Of Platinum to grab the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, but they will be outnumbered by my three (count 'em, one...two...three) blue dragons, who will devour them before they even SEE the Golden Chicken Of Kluck! Ha ha ha ha...(echoing ha ha's, like an evil alien would ha ha) haaa, haaaa, haaaaa, haaaaaa!"

Bosco - "Yes, me Lord! The three blue dragons will swoop down upon them with terrorizing destructive devastation, rip them into tiny little pieces, burn them with the fire emitting from their mouths, and devour the charred remains of their pathetic little bodies!"

Bosco

Swyparooski pukes!

Swyparooski - "Why do you have to be so graphic, Bosco? You made me hurl my guts up!"

Bosco - "Sorry, Master. I didn't mean to make your tummy so queasy that you hurled up that yellowish green, vomitous mass of chunky pizza and spaghetti mixture, that stinks worse than Alabama skunk roadkill in the hot sun...

Swyparooski pukes again!!

Swyparooski - "SILENCE, YOU MORON! I get the point!!!"

Rosie - "Look...Gary...I see it!!! The flying fortress of platinum!!!!"

Gary - "Good eye, girl! Now what's your plan for getting up there?"

At that very moment, three gigantic blue dragons appear above our beloved Glirkazoid adventurers!!!!

                                                                Lari

                                  Mo   

Kerly

If you have ANY thoughts about missing next weeks OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

EPISODE FIVE

Do you ever wonder what it's like "out there!" Far beyond the "wild blue yonder," where unseen, unknown planets exist in other galaxies, dimensions and parallel universes, inhabited by creatures of strange shapes, sizes, and educational levels? 

No? Then why are you reading this? Your life sucks and don't have anything else to do? Or is it something even more pathetic? 

You are my friend, and you feel sorry for me, right?

Oh, pullease! I hope that's not it! I already have low self esteem, and to learn you just feel sorry for me would be the last nail on the camel's back...or something like that!

On the other hand, maybe ya'll think I'm a tremendously talented humorist, but are reluctant to tell me, because you KNOW it would inflate my HUGE ego.

Now, does anyone doubt I'm bi-polar? I think not. 

Do your darndest to disregard all of my previous comments, and try to focus your unadulterated attention to Episode Five of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!

 

As our weary, diminutive Rosie and Gary (only four inches tall...max) trek across the rugged landscape of the planet of Sophomore, in search of the City Of Platinum, that holds the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that lays platinum eggs, and was unceremoniously stolen from their planet of Glirka, we listen in on their stimulating conversation...

Gary - "You've got to be kidding me, Rosie! You actually think The Princess Bride is a better movie than Kung Pow - Enter The Fist?"

Rosie - "No contest, Gary. The Princess Bride is a celebrated classic! Loved by gazillions of creatures throughout all the universe! No one knows or CARES about that Dung Cow movie!"

Gary - "Kung Pow! That's the point sweetcakes! The Princess Bride is part of the mainstream, mundane kind of movie EVERYBODY loves, but Kung Pow is in the realm of avant garde, groundbreaking movies that everybody HATES,  like the ones Jonas Mekas and David Lynch created!"

Rosie - "Who?"

Whilst the "tremendous two" discuss this impotent issue, we focus in on the Flying Fortress of Platinum, that floats about one hundred feet above the City Of Platinum, and is the home of the priceless Chicken Of Kluck...AND...unfortunately...Lord Swyparooski, the mastermind who engineered the heist of the fabulous fowl, 222,000 years ago! (Space creatures live a long time.)

Lord Swyparooski

Lord Swyparooski - "I feel a disturbance in the forze, Bosco!" (Bosco is Lord Swyparooski's trusted, and rusted aid.)

Bosco

Bosco - "Are you sure it was a disturbance in the forze, me Lord? I farted a few seconds ago."

Lord Swyparooski - "Don't be foolish, Bosco!  If you had farted, the stench would have been HUGE, you over rated garbage can!

"No...I sense there is an elite team of Glirkazoids coming to take back their treasured, Golden Chicken Of Kluck that I absconded with, fair and square, 222,000 years ago."

Bosco - "Are you sure you "sensed" it, Master, or just read about it on line, in OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY?"

Lord Swyparooski - "Silence, you insolent bucket of bolts! How dare you question my mastery of the "dork side!"

Rosie - "Let me educate you, meat head! The Princess Bride has Peter Falk, Mandy Patinkin, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane. the beautiful Robin Wright, Cary Elwes, and ANDRE THE GIANT, for heaven's sake!! Who is in that Dumb Cow movie, hmmm?"

Gary - "It's NOT DUMB COW! It's Kung Pow!! And for your information, it has some REAL superstars, like Steve Odekerk, Jennifer Tung, Lung Fei, Tse Ling-ling, and the inimitable, James Wing Woo!"

Steve Odekerk

Tse Ling-ling

                                Jennifer Tung

             Lung Fei

James Wing Woo

Rosie - "Big woo, you...you...NOT Roger Ebert! I've never heard of ANY of those...

At that instant, the "tremendous two" are thrown off their tiny feet by a large BLAST! 

When the smoke from the blast clears away, Gary and Rosie are surprised to see two old friends...Big Gaz (rhymes with dig jazz) and Rhymesauce (rhymes with mime toss) who, unceremoniously, transmigrated themselves into their presence, by way of a "transmigratory contraption."

Big Gaz

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS10eX_SKY3z1Nn1xHHa8dA

Rhymesauce

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChfpEGCHu9njv2GNQG5sAcA

What? 

Why are these strange friends joining our unconquerable super heroes?!

Will they be facing dangers far greater than they had imagined?!

Can these ancient buddies resolve the debate over The Princess Bride and Kung Pow-Enter The Fist?!!

Join us next Wednesday and the answers will be revealed in... (Why does there need to be a W in answers, anyway?)

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!!

(Why is there is D in Wednesday? We don't need it!!)

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Episode Four

(Please click on the little videos I've included in the blog, for the ultimate experience!)

I ain't gonna rehash all that crap from the previous three episodes, brothers and sisters! I ain't got the time or the money! If ya can't keep up, go back and read them on your own! I'm tired of mollycoddling you slackers!

I better go take my meds now. Be back in 10 minutes...

Click on this and wait the full 10 minutes.

Just funnin' wit ya!

Oh, I feel so much better now, like Marilyn Monroe in that Snickers commercial!

Anyway, Rosie and Gary have survived a rough landing on the planet of Sophomore, and are now in route to the City Of Platinum, to find the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that was abducted from their planet of Glirka 222,000 spaze years ago, on a Tuesday, at about 3:23 pm. 

Are they walking there? Heck no! They brung with them an unusual mode of transportation that you ain't never seed before, that was invented by Theo Jansen, billions of years before! Click on video below! 

Don't miss this clip! It's cool!

Gary - "What if when we find the Golden Chicken of Kluck, that lays the platinum eggs, we just keep it for ourselves, and run off to a distant galaxy, dimension, or even another time, and be filthy rich forever and ever?"

Rosie - "Gary! I'm shocked and ashamed of you! Our sacred duty is to bring that precious chicken back to our planet, where it rightfully belongs! It would be treason of the highest degree, and we would go down in Glirkazoid history as being lower than worms bellies!"

"Besides, the Supreme Glirkheads would track us down like dogs, bring us back to Glirka, and torture us with the excruciatingly painful tickle torture, until we evaporate!"

Gary - "Gotcha, Rosie! You thought I was bein' serious, didn't ya? Ha ha ha! Absconding with a national treasure is the furthest thing from my mom...me mum...I MEAN...my MIND!"

Gary's mommy

Rosie - "Riiiight! Every tom you feel guilty, your mom invades your guilty mind, Gary!"

Gary - "That is so NOT true, mommy...uh, mummy...ROSIE...I meant to say, ROSIE!!"

Rosie - "Riiiight! Let's forget about that for now and concentrate on the job at hand. Are we going in the right direction, skeezix?"

Gary - "Of course, Rosie! I'm using our trusty, dusty U. P. S.! (Universal Positioning System) Now listen closely...

U.P.S. Universal Positioning System

U.P.S. - (Speaking in a sexy sounding voice) "Turn right in 500 pecters, at the erupting volcano."

Rosie - "I don't see an erupting volcano!"

At that, they see, way off in the distance, a volcano starting to erupt violently!

Rosie - "Chihuahua, that's a good U.P. S.!"

Gary - "Are you crazy? I'm not goin' anyway near that erupting volcano! Let's just use the ancient Glirkazoid art of "guess reckoning" and find our way to the City Of Platinum using our natural, built in, positioning system."

Rosie - "What the heck are you talking about, knucklehead? I've NEVER heard of "guess reckoning" my whole life!"

Gary - "Stand back, whilst I chant the ancient, secret words, and do the sacred "dance of direction!"

Gary begins to slowly dance in a circle, and then move faster and faster, as he chants the secret, powerful words!

Gary - "Mareseatoats and doeseatoats and littlelambseativy...a kidilleativy 2 wooden u?"

Rosie - "You're scaring me, Gary!"

Gary - "Don't interrupt, Rosie, I'm not done!

"Jai guru deva, Om, ting, tang, walla walla, bing bang...In rain or wind or heat or snow...which direction should we go?!"

Rosie - "Now what's supposed to happen, Gary?"

Gary - "We will receive a sign from heaven, pointing the way! Just wait!"

   Listen to this delightful music while we wait.

Rosie - "Um, nothings hapnin', Tonto! What do we do now?"

Gary - "I'm stumped, Rosie!"

Rosie - "How's about we walk in the direction of that platinum-hued glow in the east, hmmm?"

Gary - "Not a bad idear, Rosie! I knew you were good for SOMETHING!"

Rosie - "Thanks a load, General!"

Gary - "Rosie..You know I'm not a General...I'm an Admiral!"

Rosie - "To the contrary, you are definitely a General...a general nuisance!!"

Oh, hey! Our troopers are on their way, chanting, "Follow the platinum glow, follow the platinum glow, oh, my, follow the platinum glow, oh, my...

Remember to not forget, even if you have to write a note to yourself, and hang it on the Frigidaire, to come back next weed for Episode Five of...wait for it...wait for it...OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!