Why aren't the Aposematics world famous yet? No, I am NOT obsessed with the Aposematics!

Find more The Aposematics songs at Myspace Music

I write this blog for me. Writing weird, silly, abstract, nonsensical things takes me away from my real problems and worries that have a tendancy to depress me. If it serves as an escape from reality for you guys, well, that's good too! However, even if I was on another planet (Some say I already am), zillions of miles away from contact with ANY life forms, I would still write, so I could forget about being on a deserted planet zillions of light years away from my loved ones. ( I think light years is better than miles, don't you?)
Now, here are some silly things that I don't understand, but writing about them helps me to relieve my stress from worrying about these things.
1. Why aren't the Aposematics famous yet? Yes, they have local fame and were mentioned in "Rolling Stone" magazine but they should be WORLD FAMOUS by now! Come on! They're that good! If they never become world famous what hope is there for the rest of us? Anyway, it helps me to write this down so it doesn't keep messin' with my dysfunctional brain 24/7!
2. Why doesn't everybody recognize that John Farmer ( Aposematics) is a genius songwriter, awesome singer and MASTER recording technician. Listen to these words he wrote: " Oh, sight for soreeyes, won't you come in, I've been combing the street for hours, just about to come in"... ( Who said I'm obsessed with the Aposematics? Heavens no!)
3. Lori Koch's voice is better than Taylor Swift's or Carrie Underwood's because Lori's voice puts me "THERE!" Lori's voice transports me to another time, dimension, and cozy warm place that Taylor and Carrie don't take me. ( I already told you, NO! I am not obsessed with the Aposematics! Chee-wawa!)
Wait a minute! We can help the Aposematics by supporting them at their concerts, clicking on their music, sharing their songs with others, and...whoops! I'm supposed to be writing this for myself as a kind of therapy and now I'm starting to include you guys in my Aposematic obsession...uh, I mean, NOT obsession, uh, support, yeah, that's it, SUPPORT!
See ya later!

Cardinals never give up!

My Dad met Stan Musial at his restaurant and asked Stan to autograph the above photo and make it out to me.
When people ask me what baseball team I like, I just say I was born and raised in St. Louis and they understand what I mean. The Cardinals are in my blood. ( I guess that's why I bleed red. )
They still have a chance of making it into the playoffs and that would be awesome! On the other hand, they've played their hearts out this year (especially these past few weeks) and I have great respect for their never give up attitude!
But, what does it matter. I will love my team until the day I die. They're the CARDINALS!

Tupelo Mississippi Man

Following the death of Elvis we were constantly bombarded with Elvis sightings in one place after another. I never took them seriously but I started to imagine what it would be like if Elvis was still alive and wandering across America to get away from the many things that were causing him heartache and fear. So I wrote this song:

Slay Any Dragons Lately?

Remember when we were kids and could slay dragons in our imagination? Well, I do! Anyway, I would pretend a stick or maybe my mom's curtain rod was my sword, and the dragon would be a tree or a dumpster or SOMETHING bigger than me. I'm sure the neighbors thought I was "off" ( Ha! Me, "off?" What a laugh, huh?) when they saw me beating the dumpster with a curtain rod but that didn't matter to me. I had to protect all of them from getting devoured by the dragon, even if they couldn't see him!
Today we are faced with many "dragons" that could devour America if we are not willing to stand up to them. I could make a big list from terrorism to the economy but our biggest threat is our OWN "dragons" we need to slay.
If we wake up every morning determined to slay the personal "dragons" that are terrorising us and hoping to devour us, America will benefit from our efforts.
We know our own "dragons" that we need to slay in our lives and we realize it's a constant battle.
I often wondered why nobody could see my dragon that I was battling as a child. As I got older I understood. They were fighting their own "dragons" everyday, that included poverty, addictions, mental illness, abuse, fear and loneliness.
I know this may not sound fair to some of you but I have someone who helps me fight my "dragons" each day and who WILL destroy the "Great Dragon" in the end.
JESUS CHRIST!

Tulleuchen Put Me In His Video! What a Great Honor!

I have the great honor of being included in the Tulleuchen video above! Now, all you videographers out there will understand how super fantastic it is to be featured in another videographer's video! It hardly ever happens because most of us that do these videos are really self centered and jealous of each other.
However, the AWESOME Tulleuchen has condescended way, way down to put others in his extremely cool and funny video.
My acting is superb in the video, by the way.
To learn more about Tulleuchen watch the next two videos:

Right now, I can only offer my humble, heartfelt thanks until the time I can shower them in cold hard cash!

http://www.theaposematics.com/gandjingle2.mp3 (Click on this jingle now!)
Above is the jingle I wrote for the Greg and Dan radio show. John Farmer and I recorded it at his Blue Civilian Studio . I can't remember when I had so much fun! We were laughing so hard we could hardly finish the crazy thing.
John also helped me record the best song I've ever written; "Mind To Mind And Heart To Heart."

My plan is that when my songs and books become universally adored by billions of people I will pay back everyone who has helped me. The list includes John Farmer, Greg Batton, my sister Dee-Dee, Mary Greenhood, Marty Wombacher, my wife Donna, Josh Starkey, Dan Sidell, Dan Thies, Jason Heath and a few others.
Right now, I can only offer my humble, heartfelt thanks until the time I can shower them in cold hard cash!

HITCHIN’
God’s Way of Letting You Know
You Don’t Have A Car.

By a steamed author, Danny Maness.
Wow! This book is funny already. Saying, “a steamed” author instead of esteemed author. I wonder if the whole book will be filled with this hilarious wordplay? Oh, I hope so. I love jabberwocky! For instance; In the town, where I was bored, lived a bad, who sailed to seed, and he told me of his lice, in the lad of soobmarines, so, he sailed unto the suds, ‘till he found the sea of greed, and he libs beneath the wabes, in his yallow soobmarine!
O.K. now. I forgot to put acknowledgments in my first book, so, I’ll put them on the next page if that fuits yer sancy. HA! Look! A classic “word whip” as it might have been done by Shake- Spear himself. Hey! Just a rootin’ tootin’ second! I’m writing the book, so I can put ANYTHING I want in this thang! I can even do a big run on paragraph if I want. How cool is dat!!?? Did you see that? I put 2 exclamation points and 2 question marks and no one stopped me. This is exciting! WHO DARES TO VENTURE INTO THE UNCHARTED WATERS OF MY, silly little, MIND! YOU DARE? WHO DARE? WHAT YOU GONNA DO DARE? THIS IS FUN!






ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Jason Heath is a brilliant artist who did the illustrations for my first book, “Chicken’s Butts and Coconuts Will Ultimately Make Or Break You” and this book, “Hitchen’, God’s Way Of Letting You Know You Don’t Have A Car!” The reason it looks like he drew the cartoons in 5 minutes is because I asked him to do it that way. I wanted them kind of primitive looking and he did a fabulous job didn’t he? Thanks Jason! You are, hereby ACKNOWLEDGED!

Marty Wombacher has written the funniest books I have ever read! “ 99 Beers Off The Wall” made me laugh so hard I was literally afraid to read the next page because my gut was aching so bad from laughing! He has helped me to become a better writer and I owe him a lot! (I think it’s about $47.00, at last count.) If you think I’m funny, you’ll adore Marty’s stuff! If you don’t think I’m funny, go to H-E double hockey sticks! Marty! You’ve been ACKNOWLEDGED!

Rick Robberson is forthwith acknowledged as a great and cool friend. When you said you liked my book I was encouraged to the max, because you’re one of the funniest guys I’ve ever known!

MORE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Benji Boo Boo, our Yorkie, is ACKNOWLEDGED for always making us happy! Benji Wenji, Benji Boo, Benji Wenji, we love you!




I am proud and honored to ACKNOWLEDGE my beautiful, gorgeous, sexy wife who never, ever gives up on me, even when I’m ready to “throw in the towel” about 5 times a day! You’re my Angel!