Tuesday, October 29, 2013

HALLOWEEN MEMORIES



Halloween, in St.Louis, when I was a kid,
Back in the fifties, long ago, here's what we did,
We went to every house that had a light lit,
With large grocery bags, so the candy would fit.

We dressed as monsters, witches, and ghosts,
And we would see which one got the most,
Yummy candy, of all shapes and sizes,
And would compare our clever disguises.

My costume was always homemade,
By my Mom, no, we never paid,
For an outfit bought at the store,
To beg candy at everyone's door.

We would cry to the homes, "trick or treat,"
And the people seemed happy to greet,
All the creatures that lurked on their step,
Who had slithered, and limped up, and crept.

Some neighbors would have us come in,
And would say to us all with a grin,
Sing a song, say a poem, tell a joke,
Or no candy we'll put in your poke.

So with red faces and shy,
We would sing a cute song, by and by,
Or recite a short poem, with some fear,
And the neighbors would grin ear to ear.

Sometimes it was windy and cold,
On that Halloween night from of old,
But matter to us, it did not,
Look at all of the candy we got!

My family had kids numbering 6,
We got bags full of treats without tricks,
We dumped them all on Mom's kitchen table,
It's a good thing that table was stable,

Cause a mountain of candy appeared,
And even though this may sound weird,
We could eat what we wanted, the sweetest,
Maybe that's why I have diabetes!

BURMA SHAVE

Monday, October 28, 2013

My Halloween Blog Post



With the dark, evil holiday of Halloween approaching, I offer a triad of my scariest Halloween style videos!

Be prepared for the most terrifying experiences in horror and suspense since Psycho met the Exorcist!

Be AFRAID! Be VERY AFRAID!!

Feast your pathetic eyes on the darkest realm of the soul that begins with terror, moves on to INTENSE terror, and then kind of fizzles out at the end.

We begin with the classic, Glirkademon...Lord Of The Underworld!!


The next super scary video may be way too disturbing for the kiddies, so make sure you remove them from the room before you turn out the lights and watch this!!

HALLOWEEN CREEPY!!

Finally, my fiesta-resistonce of creepy features, Glirakazoids And Werewolves!!!


Have a safe and candy filled Halloweenie!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!


Jan Gabriel died Jan. 10, 2010.

Who is Jan Gabriel?

Well, if you lived in the St. Louis or Chicago area you still have his exciting, exhilarating commercials in your head! 

Why am I writing about him now?

I don't know for sure, but this morning 
I had, "SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY," going through my head! 

Click on the link below, and you'll know what I'm talking about:



Have an AWESOME SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!!!


Saturday, October 26, 2013

SURREAL SATURDAY

I'm bringing back Surreal Saturday today, because Part 5 of my 5 Part Tutorial really sucked, and I was too embarrassed to show it.

You may recall that on Surreal Saturday I scan the vast array of surreal art on the enter-knet, and put hilarious captions under them!

HA HA HA! What a funny dude I am!!


Taa taa, folks! Welcome to Happy's dead, I mean, Bed and Breakfast! 
Don't mind my little friends if they give you a bit of a nip, they mean no harm!



Ever wonder where the term "butt ugly" got started?




Scientists have discovered that cigarette smoking speeds hair growth.



The chairman of the bored.



Another successful Illinois highway project.



Brilliant new government project to repair San Andreas fault line.

The secret of what makes the world go around.







Designer of Obamacare website.

Have a great and wonderful Surreal Saturday my friends!

Friday, October 25, 2013

FAN FRIDAY


 I am a fan of freedom,
And it makes me shed a tear,
When it seems that what was liberty,
Is replaced by doubt and fear.

Can we still say what we want to say,
Is it politically correct,
Are we afraid to speak our minds,
With "Big Brother" on our necks?

Can we raise our children like before,
When we could discipline with love,
Or will we be charged with child abuse,
Caged like a wounded dove?

Our Fathers fought for freedom,
Many died for freedom's cause,
But now God is not allowed in schools,
Not even Santa Clause!

I wonder when the day will come,
When I can't write these words,
When "they" say I'm a seditionist,
And never should be heard?

Remember, if you speak the truth,
And are found by the N.S.A.,
They may think you are a traitor,
Who hates the U.S.A.!

But all you want is freedom,
You're not talking gun and fist,
Just liberty and life,
And pursuit of happiness!

I am a fan of freedom,
And I think that you are, too,
So stand up and cry out LIBERTY,
Before it's taken from you!

By Danny Maness



Thursday, October 24, 2013

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY




Writing silly stuff, silly stuff, silly stuff today, and if you do not like it, you can go away!




I'm tired of Obama care, and wars all over the earth, I'd rather dwell on silly stuff, happy times, and mirth!



Puppies, kitties, babies sweet, fill my imagination, maybe I will dream again of going on vacation.



Of course, I have no money, to take a pleasant trip, but if I could, I'd fly away, or sail out on a ship!





To an island where the weather's warm and the girls all wear bikinis, I'd sit out on the sandy beach, grilling up my weenies!




Don't want to think of sickness, sadness, or abuse, I'd rather write this goofy stuff, and be a silly goose!




I'm told I need to stop a while, and face reality, I think I'll just ignore them, and climb up in my tree,




Away above the problems, the hatred, and the lying, I'll think a lot on living, and never think of dying!




Crying doesn't suit me, I'm big, and tough, and strong, I'll forget about my dumb ole debts, and sing a happy song!



I have family who loves me, friends closer than a brother, special ones who comfort me, like an ever caring mother!





Taking life dead seriously, 
I'll leave to hardier stock, 
I tried to do it years ago, 
And wound up on the rocks,  
 So now I'll just be silly, 
Dance, and laugh and sing, 
And leave the sorrow and tears to those,
 Who can deal with what life brings.


BURMA SHAVE

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY




The 222 Glirkazoids that were being held captive by the Badazzbeast were hoping, beyond hope, that a hero would come and release them from their slavish conditions!



They were forced to do the "beast's" bidding, from cleaning his nasty, filthy castle, to scraping dirt out from under his hideous, gigantic claws!


Our hero, GARY!


Little did they know that our hero, Gary, was on his way to save them, with his pure heart giving him the strength and courage to continue on and on, through the Desert Of Burning Sand, swimming the River Of Piranhas, circumventing the gale force winds of Fartzfluffer, and now climbing the terrifying Mountain Of A Thousand Deaths!




Gary had the feeling someone had been watching him the whole time, while he conquered the many obstacles on his way to the Mountain Of a Thousand Deaths!

Gary would see flashes of colors here and there, and then cold water would appear in front of him in the desert, another flash of colors, and the piranhas seemed to swim away from him, and the Fartzfluffer winds would somehow be diverted in another direction after a glimpse of colors!



What was going on?

It was as if some unknown spirit was helping him!


Who or what could it be?!

Gary couldn't dwell on that right now. He was busy ascending to the top of the Mountain Of  1000 Deaths, where the castle of the Badazzbeast was located, and where his cute little Glirkazoid friends were being held captive!

There was danger in every step, as he climbed higher and higher, over the treacherous terrain, with sharp rocks cutting into Gary's flesh, a torrential rain pouring on his green little body and into his elongated eyes, and giant pterodactyls attempting to pluck him off the side of the mountain!


In spite of the nearly impossible odds, Gary felt as if an invisible presence was lifting him up when he fell, shielding him from the rain, and fighting off the pterodactyls with him!

The CASTLE!! The grotesque, black, horrible castle loomed ahead of Gary!

It was guarded by 12, two headed dragons, or was it 2, 12 headed dragons? 



Anyway, it was going to be a monumental task for Gary to even enter the castle, to rescue his 222 little buddies!

Gary hears the sound of something very humongous behind him, he turns around and...

We will continue with our continuing story on the next...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY...day, day, day,...



Tuesday, October 22, 2013





STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

I'm cancelling Travelin' Tuesday for what is the nicest and most comprehensive comment I have EVER received from a friend!!


WOW!

I'm so overwhelmed!!

For REAL!!!

Here it is:

It's a real stage & these is my thoughts.......

What I was thinking is how funny, cute, adorable, entertaining, smart, Talented, imaginative, & just plain brilliant you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You make me laugh, you always include many others talents u like & we like. I love it when you blog about your lovely Family & about you & Donnas wedding anniversary & the proposal.

I love the Glirkazolds so much & the lovely poems you wrote about. The Oak Tree, The songs about pink bikes & your friend gounderous (Mike) & others. Song to your pretty wife. :)). The blogs about handsomeeeeee MANOLIS, & JAYBIRD!!! The lovely Sara, lovely talented Sara Marie U. Breanna dancing like a princess.( made me cry), out of love for all our children who put on a brave face. Being a ROCK STAR on grandparents day...:) <3 The cool blogs & pictures about the blue car named Cheryl & Greg n Dan. Your sweet mom & Dee Dee! They are soooooooooooooo sweet. Oh! Oh! The, "What not to do on video" lol series with u tellin us how to make a better video. The pics & the links to the silly funny noise effects. haha

I LIKE YOU, Just you being you. Your awesome dude & you have the best blog ever. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo CONGRATS ON 20,000 BIG VIEWS!!!! I know 5000 of those were from me. hehee, kidding. Your TOPS!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for DANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your friend Lady Mim. You Rock Babaw :) 

Cheryl, Lady Mim, thanks so much!!

I'm flabbergasted! 

You remember more about my blog than ME!

Yes..I do believe 5000 were from you! LOL!

I will remember this great comment until I'm pushin' up daises!



God bless you!!

Monday, October 21, 2013

20,000 PAGEVIEWS, OCT. 21, 2013!!!!!

Thank you, EVERYONE! I am so happy, and a little bit humbled to receive this honor!

I was born 63 years ago in St. Louis City Hospital, and I'd like to thank my Mom and Dad for that!

Nancy, Dee-Dee and me were not in the picture yet.

I began writing as a wee urchin, when I wrote the celebrated poem, "Dogs" by Danny Maness...which ended up in the scrool newspaper!! (Having my sister Dee-Dee working on the scrool newspaper may have helped a bit. Even though she denies that any nepotism occurred.)

Throughout the years I continued to write silly songs, a couple of anti-comedy books, grocery lists, and Glirkazoid to English translations of their laws and decrees.

As I stand here on this imaginary stage, and look at the faces of all of you who have made 20,000 pageviews possible, I can't help but ponder, "what were you guys thinking?!!"

In conclusion, I wrote a little tune to commemorate this special day in my lice, and to thank all of you for your support and encouragement!


Sunday, October 20, 2013

SILLY SATURDAY ON SUNDAY



I was so caught up in Cardinal fever that I forgot to post part 4 of my 5 part tutorial on "How To Avoid Making Really Bad Comedy and Music Videos!

Here is part 4 for your edification and stuff!

Okay, maybe this was a bit funny!
HA HA HA HA!
Even if I have to laugh my own self!