MANESS MUSIC MONDAY

I want to share with you one of the deep mysteries of my life. 

We all have them.

We wonder why we could never dance, or sing very well, play a musical instrument, or yodel like Wally Cox.

In all these instances, we can usually come up with some clues as to why we could not do these things.

Maybe our parents could not dance, sing, play a musical instrument, or yodel, and these limitations got passed down to us.

Or maybe our talents went in a different direction completely, like being able to milk yaks, mud wrestle, or do an impression of Wallace Beery.

Okay, I get all that, but puzzle me this: What if you have parents that can sing, dance, yodel, play multiple musical instruments, milk yaks, mud wrestle, and do all kinds of impressions, and you STILL can't do any of those cool things?! Hmmmm?

That's a REAL mystery and that takes us back to MY personal mystery!

I wrote one of the most beautiful, heart wrenching, thoughtful, lyrical, melodic songs of the last half of the 20th century (everybody tells me so), and it never went viral or nuttin' honey!

I lot of people thought that this song would one day become popular all over the whole wide worm, and the general population of the earth would have this wonderful song on the tip of their tongues at any given moment!

I assembled the greatest musicians I knew, the best sound technician, a dude with a beautiful voice (me) to sing it, and we all thought it wouldn't miss!

I even got a radio personality to play it on his radio show, and it STILL hasn't attained the fan crazed popularity it deserves!

Isn't that a galdurned, dyed in the wool, genuine, full fledged mystery?!

Sure it is!!

So, let's end all this mysteriousness, and make this song the classic "American standard" (isn't that a toilet?) song that it should have been many moons ago.

Mind To Mind And Heart To Heart is a song about a shy guy who loves this girl very, very much...or a shy girl who loves this dude very, very much, but can't find the worms to tell her/him.

Then, finally, he/she gets the courage to tell him/her, which makes for a soul stirring, magnificent finale!!

WOW! Are you in for a treat!

Remember, YOU are one of the building blocks that will share this song with everybody you can think of, and finally end the mystery of the cool song that never made it to the top!!

READY?

LISTEN!!!

THANKS FOR YOUR PATRONAGE!

ST. LOUIS SUNDAY

As all of you know, I have a very vivid and strange imagination. I actually believe that if I ask you to watch the E.T. clip below, you will actually do it.

Even though you've seen this a million toms on T.V. or at the movies!

However, if you don't watch the clip, you will not really be able to get into the mood and flavor of my blog post today.

I've got faith in you dear bloggetts!

Click it on...NOW!!

Would you believe me if I told you that we did the same exact kind of bike riding in my old neighborhood that you saw in the clip?!

We could go through town faster than a car because we knew all of the shortcuts through vacant lots, ball fields, parking lots, constuction sites, and all places a car couldn't go.

The only differences were that the police weren't usually chasing us, and we didn't always have an extraterrestrial in a milk crate on our handlebars. 

I had a Western Flyer bike from Western Auto that was NOT a skinny little racer with the hand brakes!

My bike was sturdy, with bigger tires and a foot brake that didn't whimp out on hard stops like some of the hand brakes would, where pieces of the rubber that squeezed the tire would break off and fall helplessly to the ground.

I always had some kind of lawn mowing job or something to make spending money, so I bought tons of accessories for my beloved bike!

Beautiful hand grips with streamers, colorful reflectors, a head light that actually worked by a little generator powered by the front tire; I would also create an occasional motor cycle sound produced by clothes pinning a baseball card to part of the frame where the spokes of the tire hit it to make the noise.

My best friend Doobie and me actually rode our bikes all the way from St. Ann to Forest Park one day, but we didn't know the shortcuts and had to ride down the sidewalks of St. Louis!

Why didn't we ride in the traffic?

You've never been to St. Louis, have you?

Anyway, they did not have the little ramp areas at the end of the blocks to smoothy cross the streets like they do today.

No, no! At the end of the blocks we had to just drop off the edge of the high curb and land (thud!!) on the street and then lift the front end of our bikes up to get up over the next curb.

We didn't notice until we got to Forest Park that the tail end of our back bumpers were bent up in the shape of a V from hitting the curbs!

We "hid" our bikes in some bushes at the park, where they could be easily seen by someone who  was really interested in stealing our bikes, and we went to the zoo, the Jewel Box, the planetarium, the art museum, Jefferson Memorial; and when we returned...our bikes were still there!! 

Times have changed since then.

THE END

SATURDAY MORNING POST

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW HUGE PLANET WITH HUBBLE TELESCOPE

(No, wait, the telescope got turned back towards earth and photographed Chris Christie!)

LEGENDARY ROLLING STONES BAND WILL BE HONORED BY BRITAIN'S MEDICAL SOCIETY FOR JUST BEING ABLE TO STAND UP

THE LAST SURVIVING POLAR BEAR IS FOUND FLOATING ON A SMALL ICE FLOE AND YELLING, THEY'RE ALL MINE NOW, ALL THE FISH ARE MINE!

THE LAST SURVIVING POLAR BEAR FOUND DEAD, WITH COKE BOTTLES AND ZERO BAR WRAPPERS BY HIM

BEAR EXPERTS BAFFLED WHEN THEY FIND POLAR BEAR LIVING AT THE NORTH POLE HALF THE TIME AND THE SOUTH POLE THE OTHER HALF...

THEY THINK HE IS BI-POLAR

THIS IS VERY WEIRD AND COOL...I WANT YOU!!

FAN FRIDAY

 I am such a big fan of old movies!

Especially the black and white movies from the 1930's through the 1950's.

In the real oldies the sound quality is so terrible, like they're talking through a tin can. Here is an example:

Wasn't his singing a riot? Well, I thought it was.

However, the black and white pictures seemed more real and gritty than the color movies we have today. 

I don't know. Maybe my little brain just processes them that way. What do you think?

Also, the emotion in those old films was so powerful and gut wrenching, like in this scene from The Champ:

WOW! Didn't that make your gut wrench?

I'm making this short so you will have time to savor all of the classic clips I am sharing with you.

And finally the fiesta resistonce!

Even if you passed on the other clips, don't miss this one...it's awesome!

Told ya!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I feel marvelous, simply marvelous, and honored, loved, and special, like a celebrity!

Why? You axe so dumbfoundedly!

I just found out the government is tracking my EVERY move!! How awesome is that?!

Nobody ever tracked my every move!! This is so great!!

I hear-tell they're monitoring my phone calls, Facebook activity, YouTube videos, how many toms I brush my teeth, walk my dog, Google something, and fart.

I feel like Angelina Jolie being relentlessly followed by the hungry paparazzi for just one glimpse up her mini-cooper! 

What's so cool is I'll be dead before I know it, and who else cared about me enough to make a record of every single little thing I do!

Not YOU! 

Now, anybody can go to my permanent government records after I'm deader than a doorknob, and find out how many toms I shi...shined my shoes!

What does Tom have to do with this, huh?!

What is everybody complaining about, don't most of us detail all of our life events, emotions, hopes, dreams, loves, hates, and what we ate for breakfast on Facebook, anyway?!!

Sure we do!!

I finally feel like I'm impotent, because our dear government has taken the time to make sure my legacy will be remembered by future generations of creatures that will one day conquer this place we love to call earth at this moment in tom!

Tom? TOM? Stop all the TOM crap immediately, before I go NUTS!!

GOOD GRIEF!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The Glirkazoids were on a quest,

And they would do their very best,

To struggle on and pass the test,

And win the dabes of Marmalesh!

The catlit never made a sound,

His little heart began to pound,

When Glirkazoids were all around,

To bring the dabes from lost to found.

Twas 7 billion years ago,

The dabes of Marmalesh did grow,

On Marmalesh, an isle of Glirka,

Then stolen by the cruel Lord Zerka.

Zerka knew without a doubt,

The dabes would cure him from his gout,

And bring a smile to end his pout,

And make him sing and dance about!

The Glirkazoids had every right,

To bring them back, to win this fight,

The dabes of Marmalesh they grew,

From ancient times of Glodrah Gnu.

The dabes of Marmalesh were not,

For just one creature full of rot,

Like bad Lord Zerka, what a bum,

They should be shared with everyone.

On Zerkazoid our buddies landed,

The Glirkazoids, who then commanded ,

The mean Lord Zerka to release,

The dabes, and they would go in peace.

To their surprise, it was no task,

All they had to do was ask,

Lord Zerka was a different dude,

He wasn't even slightly rude!

The dabes of Marmalesh had changed,

His attitude, and what remained,

Was a cool, sweet, gentle, caring guy,

That made the Glirkazoids thus cry,

All hail the dabes of Marmalesh,

That turned this cat from worst to best,

We hope all lifeforms just say YES,

To the sacred dabes of Marmalesh!

BURMA SHAVE

TRAVELIN' TUESDAY

It was July of 1969, right before they faked the first manned landing on the moon.

I was 19 and had never been anywhere except the country. Southeast Missouri, where my grandpa's farm was located.

I take that back, I did go on a trip to South Bend, Indiana to visit Joe Heklinski and family. (I'm not sure if that's how Heklinski is spelled, but that's how it sounded phonetically)

Joe was a guy who mom and dad befriended in St. Louis, who lived at our housing projects and was going to dentist school with his twin brother.

Mom would make meals for them and dad would help them where he could, and they never forgot the kindness that was shown to them.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, South Bend! 

We went there when I was a little kid, but I barely remember anything. I know I was there, because my mom had pictures of me at the Helinski home.

Back to me at 19! 

Here I was, sitting at Lambert Airport to take my very first airplane trip! 

It was so exciting! 

Now, I had been to Lambert Airport many times, to goof off, play, and irritate the unsuspecting pre-passengers.

Our house was within walking distance from Lambert, and we would walk over there and watch all the cool rich people in their cool rich people clothes, and meander anywhere we wanted to go, except out on the runways.

No security, no cameras watching us, no scanners, no terrorists lurking about...back when America was FREE, and not scared of it's own shadow, like today.

If you have ever seen Lambert  Airport, you know it is very glass looking, but definitely NOT geodesic dome-like in it's appearance, but there is a true geodesic dome at the Climatron at St. Louis Botanical Gardens, but who really gives a flying frick about cock-a-doodie geodesic domes anyway!

My point is, it was very modern, space age looking for that time, and the tube like thing that we walked through to board the plane was like something an astronaut might walk through, and it very much reminded me of a scene from 2001 A Space Odyssey, even though the movie didn't exist yet.

I absolutely loved the take off and steep climb to the heavens, the beautiful, nice stewardesses, and little bitty dinner, but the actual flying part was boring. 

We were heading for Seattle, Washington and made a stop in Lincoln, Nebraska, for some reason, but did not get to see Lincoln, Nebraska because we weren't allowed off the plane.

Who cares about cock-a-doodie Lincoln, Nebraska anyway!

The landing in Seattle was also very cool, and after a bus trip through some breathtakingly beautiful scenery, we reached our destination of Ft. Lewis Army base, during the height of the Viet Nam war, for basic training.