"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

It's 74 degrees, with a light breeze, no more freeze if you please, "it's the bees knees," as "THEY" would say in the nineteen twen-tees!

Of course. I had to go outside and get my lawn mower ready, just in case the grass pops up unexpectedly, without me knowing about it. 

I cleaned a million leaves out of the garage and hosed down the dirty floor, all the way down the driveway and to the street.

Threw out an old vacuum cleaner, a box fan, and some worn out, mildewed clothes that were all beyond usability. 

In between time, I took our faithful dog, Chevy, for a walk around the park! 

What an absolutely PERFECT day! 

This is the day we've been waiting for all winter long! They day we longed for when it was 20 below! The day we even dreamed about when the frigid wind was howling outside our bedroom window!

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

I still wish I could do handsprings and cartwheels (I know it's hard to believe, but I could do handsprings and cartwheels in my youth), because that is exactly what I would do today, if I could, but I can't, so I won't. 

Soooo, have you been out enjoying this weather today? Okay, some of you folks have an indoor job, but what about after work? 

In fact, instead of reading this blog, go outside and do some handsprings, if you can! 

If you cannot, just stand still in the glorious sunshine, spread your arms out, soak in the rays, and sing...

Oh, if only I could capture this day in a bottle...a BIG bottle, and during one of those Siberian-like winter days in January, open the BIG bottle and let out this gorgeous weather!

That might not be a great idea, now that I think about it.

Even if you had a bottle as big as a water tower, it still would not be enough good weather to overcome the wintry forces comin' atcha from one of them Alberta Clippers, polar vortexing down from Canada at 60 miles per!! 

However, I'm not gonna dwell on anythang negative today, brothers and sisters! 

I know that some of you are wondering why I'm inside, doing my blog, whilst the phenomenal weather graces the land outside my door? 

It's 'cause I love you guys, and I'm willing to make sacrifices for your insatiable thirst for laughter from my blog! 

I'll be back outside as soon as I'm done!

I'm done.

Hooray! We're Actually Going Somewhere!

Although I can't divulge where we're going, I want to share my excitement and total joy to be attending a "SOLD OUT" show, here in Peoria, Illinois!

The reason I'm so ecstatically happy is because we hardly ever go anywhere!

You guys (according to Fazebook) go EVERYWHERE! 

If you're not going to the Bahamas, in your pajamas, your traveling to Disney Worm, or a Tom Petty concert, or maybe it's Tom Jones (whoever is still alive), or Colorado, or Seattle. (you go there too much if you ask me, but nobody's asking me) 

As for us, we go to Kroger and Schnucks. That's about it. 

So you can understand how wonderful it is for us to actually go to something SPECIAL!  However, I cannot tell you when we are going or where we are going. Sorry.

If I sound jealous about you guys traveling the world, going to John Lennon concerts, showing your photos of "Nots Bury Farm," let me assure you,  I have no covetous bones in my body. It's the rest of me that get's super envious... my bones are cool with it. 

I'm keeping today's blog super short, because we need to prepare for our live show adventure that is coming up soon. Which does NOT mean it's tonight! It could be ANY night Or DAY! Or even next month! You'll never know, 'cause it's a secret! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

So, all of you who continue to go to exotic destinations, like Mount Rushmore, or that giant ball of dental floss in North Dakota, or Stevie Ray Vaughan concerts, can go on ahead and eat your hearts out!

We are goin' to a SOLD OUT show, where we will definitely meet the performers back stage, but I cannot reveal any details to you folks at this moment in time. Have a great day!

Pay no attention to this poster above!

Too Much Cussing On T.V. Anymore

To whom it may concern. There is too much cussing on T.V. anymore! 

What's going on? Did all the censors die?

I can understand actors cussing on HBO and places where cussing is warned about at the beginning. However, there is vast amounts of cussing goin' on in the REGULAR T.V. shows now!

Well, not this one...YET!!

Even the F word! 

Just think back to the early days of television. Absolutely no cussing at all, and the shows were much better than the ones today with all the cussing! 

I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Andy Griffith Show. and even The Twilight Zone refrained from vulgar language. 

They didn't need it to be entertaining.

Of course, T.V. shows reflect the social mores that are prevalent at the time the show is produced.

In the 1950's and 60's folks did not use profanity NEARLY as much as in 2019!

In fact, I'll be walking Chevy by the local park, and little kids are cussing worse than drunken sailors on a bender in Shanghai! 

They use the F word more often than a millennial takes a selfie! 

So I guess the T.V. shows are a reflection of the nasty society we're living in today.

All of the big cussers out there would think it was odd if there was NO cussing on T.V.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not judging all of you who like to cuss! You can cuss your heads off! Even I will slip up and cuss when I stub my toe, or quote an old country saying, or burn my finger, or drop my wallet down a sewer grate, or get stung by one of those HUGE bumblebees, or bump my head on an open cabinet door, and all kinds off stuff like that.

I guess I'm just an old fashioned guy, but I'm not comfortable with all of the 4 letter words in movies and T.V. shows in the 21st century. 

My mom used to say, "an intelligent person doesn't need to use "swearing" to make a point."  Can't the entertainment world make a point without cussing us to death?

Here is the way a WHOLE LOT of actors talk today in their movies. Tell me if I'm wrong. (I know they're just reading a script, but here is how it sounds...

"I effen got outta effen, bed, and effen got effen dressed. My effen dog was effen barking, so I effen took him for an effen walk...

Really? Do they REALLY need all the "effens?!"

"I got out of bed and got dressed. My dog was barking, so I took him for a walk." Wasn't that easier? Sure it was! 

I used to think that T.V. shows used profanity to make the characters sound tough, but now, since even little kids cuss all the time, what's the point, hmm?

You tell me what the point is, in 30 words or less, and you'll win my utmost admiration, because I completely lost the point of this blog report!

Wait, wait..here's the point...

 Colossians 3:8ESV  

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Didn't know I'd go all religious on ya, did ya?  Just wanted some backup for the myriads of folks who are gonna disagree with my opinion.

You Have No Idea What I Do For You!

Every day I struggle with what font, font size, and colors to use, to have the greatest impact on you precious readers. 

I usually use the Georgia font, like the one above, in the large size. By usually, I mean almost always, because it appeals to ME! 

However, you are the guys and gals who matter! 

I'm not gonna go through all the fonts and colors available, but I want you to know how much your entertainment means to me, so as to make me rack my brain every day to provide you with a dazzling array of diverse, uh, letter sizes and interesting colors! 

On the other hand, I don't want to give you a headache by doing too many switcheroos! 

In addition, words too small are practically useless, when trying to communicate a brilliant idea, or complete an April Fool's joke.

Conversely, big, honkin' text may come on way too strong for a lot of you gentle, sensitive snowflakes folks. 

Winston Churchill once said...

That quote has absolutely nothing to do with this particular blog post, but I thought it was funny! 

Dear friends, I just wanted y'all to know, that my love for you guys and gals transcends any mental suffering I go through, every stinkin' day, to find the perfect fonts, font sizes, and magnificent colors for Bloggadocious 222!

It's Happy Time! Be Happy!

As you may well know, the main porpoise of this blog is to make you happier. You may have noticed I didn't say to make you happy, because no one is totally happy. At least, no one I've ever known. 

So, let's do a fun, experimental thing today, to see if it makes you happier. 

Coming up is a song I wrote about 10,000 years ago. It is entitled, Happy Time! What I'd like you to do is start playing the song as soon as you see it, and read the happifying  words that follow, whilst listening to the song. 

Please RSVP me as soon as you are able, and tell me if the combo of song and mirthful words made you happier, even for a brief moment. 

Okay, here's the song, start playing it...

Tips On Making Ourselves Happier

1. Buy a new toothbrush. They're inexpensive and it makes us feel better about our personal hygiene.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You'll feel great after listening to his/her stories of the olden days! Don't know anyone in a nursing home? No matter, just pick out somebody at a nursing facility and tell them you're Bob's cousin from Kansas. Every family has a Bob, and since nobody ever goes to Kansas, how can your story be disproved?

Kansas Prairie

3. Trim your toenails. I know, I know when you're old and fat like me, it's kinda difficult, but what a feeling of accomplishment when you're done! Of course, you can have it done at one of those fancy salons, but who wants to pay $100? I sure don't, and where is the feeling of accomplishment with that? 

4. Go to St. Louis, Chicago, or ANYWHERE there's a White Castle Hamburger place and eat a whole bag of White Castles! Even if it's 500 miles away! They're worth it! Make sure you wear Depends for the drive home. 

5. Go through all of your old clothes and junk,  and take it to Goodwill. Just make sure you haven't stashed $30,000 in a coat pocket, Tupperware container, or old purse. That would NOT make you happier, although it would make a Goodwill worker ecstatic! 

6. Call an old friend you haven't seen in a long time. Just don't be shocked if they're dead, or can't remember you. You'd be surprised how often that happens at my age. (Maybe not)

7. Play with an animal. If you have a pet, pet him/her! If you don't have a pet, go to the local animal shelter, pick out a pet, tell him/her you are Bob's cousin from Kansas...

I was hoping that the song would end at the same exact time you finished reading the blog. Did it?

If not, it's because you read too fast, or too slow, depending on whether the song has ended or still playing.

So, do you feel happier? If not, please read this disclaimer...

The writer of this blog is not responsible for the happiness of any or all individuals who voluntarily read this dysfunctional crap, and at no time guarantee that the readers will experience any happy thoughts, joy, gladness, or delight. Any use of this blog to try to defame the author is restricted by the Illinois code B501-722, and area code 309. Failure to abide by the bylaws of the Fraternal Order Of  Muskrats will be persecuted to the highest degree.