Autumn Leaves...

Musically And Literally

It is of utmost importance to listen to this superb version of Autumn Leaves (below) WHILST you read today's blog article, story, thingy! If the song stops while you're reading, go back and start it again  to stay in the mood of the spirit of autumn. Now go ahead and click the lovely song on, okay?

Very well...as you listen to this magnificent, musical representation of autumn, think of a mildly cool, mildly windy, mildly sunny autumn day, with the multi-colored leaves floating gently to your lawn, creating a brightly colored mozaic, to the delight of your optic senses. 

Example of mosaic, for you in Goofy Ridge.

Aaaah, sweet life to live in, brothers and sisters! (Whoops! I'm not being gender neutral) I mean, EVERYBODY!!

Do NOT let your mind disintegrate to the the depressing depths of raking those dumb leaves for days on end, bagging them up, injuring your back, going to the doctor, getting your prescription, slowly recovering, and swearing you'll move to the Arizona desert next year, where there are no leaves to rake!! 

Is it just me, or do the rest of you get tons of leaves from unknown places?! 

I'll get these big sycamore leaves, and we ain't got no sycamore trees! Ain't got no?

We have two maple trees, but get a diverse array of foreign leaves, like oak leaves and...well...it's easier to show you...

The above photos are not actually the leaves in my yard, because I'm afraid to go out and see how many leaves I'm gonna hafta rake! Gonna hafta?

Maybe I'll just mow them! 

Yeah! That's the ticket! 

I'll just mow them!! 

Yeah...right!

Let's Just Relax, Folks..Okay?

EVERY word we utter in this 21st century will be definitely scrutinized by SOMEBODY!

Even though we try to be inoffensive and kind, someone will take whatever we say, wrong. 

Certain groups of "enlightened" individuals are offended by gender designation. 

Do not call them he or she, Mr. or Mrs., boy or girl, laddie or lassie, him or her, gal or guy...so then WHAT? 

"Look at that young IT that walked in!" 

But, maybe we can't use young or old anymore, due to age discrimination issues.

"Look at that undetermined aged IT that just walked in!"

In addition, we can't offend folks that can't walk, either.

"Look at that undetermined aged IT that just transmigrated into the room!" (I clearly don't know the meaning of transmigrated, do I?)

So...my potent point is...RELAAAAAX! 

We need not get so hung up on words that people said, without any maliciousness or malice (which I think are the same thing), and give others a break!

The one that is getting a LOT of attention now is LYNCHING. 

"He said, LYNCHING!" 

"How dare him to use the word LYNCHING!!"

"African Americans were LYNCHED!"

"The LYNCHING word is RACIST!!"

Yes. We understand that African Americans were cruelly, sadistically lynched by low IQ, hate filled mobs in America's sad history, but look at this definition of lynching...

lynch

/lin(t)SH/

Learn to pronounce

verb

gerund or present participle: lynching; noun: lynching

1. (of a mob) kill (someone), especially by hanging, for an alleged offense with or without a legal trial.

   "her father had been lynched for a crime he didn't commit"

Did the above definition say anything about African Americans? 

Folks who are around my age, like D. J. T.,  grew up watching westerns on T.V. and movies, where lynchings never included African Americans.

Lynchings were reserved for horse thieves, rustlers, murderers, and such. So the first thing I think of is a guy like Bruce Dern being lynched for some despicable crime. 

If you're around my ancient age, and loved Gunsmoke, Rawhide, Have Gun Will Travel, The Rifleman...you know EXACTLY what I'm talkin' about, but if you're not from that generation, D. J. T. and me are most assuredly racists!

Some of the kindest, most loving people I've ever known, used words and phrases, that were totally innocent, but would be thoroughly condemned in this nit picky world today. 

Of course, I'm not gonna quote them and be vilified by the mob, but their sweet, generous, self sacrificing, beautiful (to use a D. J. T. word) ACTIONS showed what was in their hearts!"

In conclusion,  here is a list on what we need to do to stop the nasty "word policing" that is rampant in society today...

1. Get over it.

2. Forget about it.

3. Ignore it.

4. Forgive them.

5. Don't feel it's your duty to correct them.

6. Love them anyway.

7. Re-laaaaaax!!

Of course, there is no way I'll follow all the thangs on the list, but I'll do my best when I'm in a good mood. 

Arrivabirdie!!

Out Of This World Wednesday

Is This The Final Episode? 

You Wish!!

When we last peered in on our great Glirkazoid galaxy gliders, they had keenly outwitted Pallbassion The Destroyer, with a bunch of help from Rhymesauce The Righteous Rhymer! 

Soooo, now they are making a bee line to Neprotonicus 12 to deliver the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 to the new inhabitants, who had formerly lived on Neprotonicus 11, but now live on Neprotonicus 12 because Neprotonicus 11 has now imploded into a bottomless black hole!! 

Whew! I hope this is the last episode, so I don't have to do another recap! (Did you know recap is short for recapitulate? I didn't)

Man doing a recap. 

Rosie -"I hope we don't experience any more delays, Gary. This mission is super important to the Neprotonicans! They NEED the Great Jewel to power all of their mechanical devices, purify their water, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare..."

Gary -" Are you okay, Rosie? You started reciting the Preamble to the the U.S. constitution, and that won't happen for another 500 trillion fartraps!"

Rosie - "I did? Sorry if I acted strange...visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men..."

Gary -"Uh, Rosie...why don't you sit down right here for a sec, and I'll get you a glass of Purple Glirf to calm your ..."

Rosie - "I'm  just fine...Crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice, that can be of significant value when used in a conscientiously applied program..."

What in the name of  Martian Madness is going on with our beloved Rosie?! 

Has she snapped from the pressure of this mission?

Far, far, far, far away, and deep in the spaze boondocks, Moonszawitz is watching Rosie's plight, in a puddle of unicorn tears. (I don't know why the unicorn was crying! Don't get me off track!)

Moonzawitz - (Speaking to her owlstrabear) "Our old friend, Rosie, seems to have contracted a very debilitating malady, Precious. We need to make a potion right away and send it to her, so our Glirkazoid  gamers can run the final gauntlet to glory!" 

Precious The Owlstrabear

The scene now switches to Neprotonicus 12, where millions of anxious Neprotonicans wait in darkness for a sign of the Silver Sausage spazeship, as promised by their ancient prophets, who are sometimes, kinda accurate. 

Nostupus Of Neprotonicus 12 (formerly of Neprotonicus 11) - "See anything, Nordis?"

Nordis Of Neprotonicus 12 (formerly of Neprotonicus 11, too)- "Nope. How long does it take for them to bring the Great Jewel that short distance, Nostupus? Do you think they absconded with it?" 

Nostupus - "With their reputation, probably. However, they may have run into giant spaze monsters, hot molten blava, earthquakes, Pallbassion The Destroyer, a mysterious malady..."

Nordis - "Do you REALLY think that's what happened?"

Nostupus - "Nah! They swiped it!"

Whoa, Nellie! Is all hope lost!! Even the Neprotonicans are losing faith!!! 

I can hardly wait to see what happens next Wednesday...and I'm writing this!!!!

Mark your Gregorian calendars for next week's...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!

What Do You Want...Egg In Your Beer?

As we slowly ease into the autumnal season, I wonder why my fan base is slowly easing away from my iconic blog.

Who said, "I didn't know you had a fan base!"

Well, I NEVER!

Who said, "Maybe if you did, you'd feel better!"

Anyway, I'm thinking (and that's dangerous), why would you read a blog about thangs that don't interest you! Right?!

For instance, I like spaze movies, UFO sightings, Syfy stuff...but a lot of you, apparently, hate that childish crap. So, even though I'll never stop writing about those thangs, because THEY have control of my minimal brain, I need to find out what youse guys want to peruse daily. 

pe·ruse

/pəˈro͞oz/

Learn to pronounce

verb

FORMAL

1. read (something), typically in a thorough or careful way.

   "he has spent countless hours in libraries perusing art history books and catalogues"

   • examine carefully or at length.

     "Laura perused a Caravaggio"
   • 
     

   
   

   • 
     Caravaggio The Italian Painter

   
   

   Dogs and cats? I can write about dogs and cats! I can even write about gerbils, puppy faced seals, pachyderms, marsupials...any animule you want, if I'm allowed to Google the information.

   
   

I really, REALLY try to avoid writing about politics, but if that's what you want, I will do it.. sarcastically, with a heaping measure of disbelief in what the heck is goin' on in D.C., Springfield and other seats of government.

Do you want me to write about the crime and violence that has become rampant across the fruited plains of what we like to call America? Although I personally don't witness much crime and violence, I could steal a few lines from Game Of Thrones, and you would not know the difference. 

“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.”
—The honorable Ned Stark explaining to Bran why he had to kill a Night’s Watch deserter

Maybe I need to concentrate on a good "hook!" No, not a fishing hook, but it works exactly the same.

The "hook" catches folks who would not necessarily read something, but are attracted by the title of the piece. 

For instance...Blood On Pekin Streets! A story about a meat truck driving down Court St. with a leak from the meat compartment.

500 Dead In Horrible Collisions! A story about a traveling salesperson scraping dead bugs off his/her windshield. (Notice how gender unspecific I am)

Anyway, you get the point. 

Tell me what interests you the most, and I'll probably just ignore you. On the other hand, I may take your suggestions to heart, and write the Noble Peace Prize of blogs!! Or is that the Pulitzer Prize? Whatevs!

1. For you who refuse to take part in the fun of commenting, that's okay...but as my mom used to say..."what do you want, egg in your beer?!"