Out Of This World Wednesday

Dragon The Line Just In Time!

When we last visited our glorious Glirkazoid guy and gal, Rosie and Gary, they were being "beamed" to who knows where?

Hopefully, across the Sea Of Megadeth, to the Isle Of The Deaf Dragon, where they are destined to confront the Deaf Dragon, himself, or HERself, it's hard to tell the difference with dragons, and win the right to advance to the Stairway To Havens, which they will have to climb, to win the right to advance to Pyrotussin, to save the Princess Of Pyrotussin from the clutches of the Monster Of Malevalentay!!

As the camera zooms in on a scary looking island, and zooms closer on to the beach, we see a swirling, whirlpool of colored lights that spit Gary and Rosie out on to the disgusting, icky beach.

Rosie - "We did it, Gary! We made it to the Isle Of The Deaf Dragon!!! Yaaay!!!"

Gary - "Shhhh. Be quiet, Rosie. Do you want the dragon to hear us?"

Rosie - "Uh, Gary, I think you're forgetting that...."

Gary - "Do you want us to be dragon dinner, Rosie? Pipe down, wouldja?"

Rosie - "THE DRAGON IS DEAF, GARY!!! HE, OR SHE, CAN'T HEAR US, GOOFBALL!!!"

Gary - "Oh...yeah! That must be why he/she is called The Deaf Dragon!"

Rosie - "You THINK? Did that "beaming" scramble your brain, Gary?"

Gary - "Look, Rosie! Dragon tracks on the disgusting beach, littered with guts of the dragon's victims!"

Rosie - "Good eyes, my bug-eyed buddy! Now we just need to follow the tracks to find the Deaf Dragon, but watch out that you don't step in rotten guts, because even though the Deaf Dragon is deaf, his/her sense of smell is AMAZING!!"

Gary stepping in guts and eyeballs.... squish, squish, squish...

Deaf Dragon - "I smell Glirkazoids on the beach, and one has stepped in rotten guts and eyeballs! Yum, yum!!"

So, as our Glirkazoid gladiators are walking toward the Deaf Dragon, the Deaf Dragon is walking toward them, following their delicious scent!

What gonna happen?

Will they meet in the middle? Will Gary and Rosie end up on the griddle?

Join us for our next OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, hopefully, next Wednesday!!! 

My Legalized Weed Predictions

As all of you know by now, recreational marijuana was legalized in Illinois, as of Jan. 1, 2020.

Since I live in Illinois, I have a few observations and predictions on what the future will be for Illinois residents very shortly.

My number one prediction is that the increase in revenue will absolutely NOT help the states financial crisis!

Are you kidding me? This is Illinois! Remember how the lottery money was going to save the educational system in Illinois? NOT! 

Another prediction is that our politicians and bigwigs in the pot industry will be purchasing more homes, yachts, private jets, and such...while the Illinois population, in general, will be too STONED to care! 

I get a bit frustrated, NOW, when a line is moving slowly at a store, or at a gas station cash register, or at a popular restaurant. Imagine what it will be like when everyone is stoned to the gills!! 

Read the next 3 paragraphs in super slow motion, please...

Man In Front Of Me In Gas Station Line - "Wow, man! I think I got, like, $5.00 worth, on like, one of those pumps out there."

Gas Clerk - "That's righteous, dude. Let me, like, check which pump, man. Pump 1...noooo, not that one...okay, like, pump 2...noooo...wow, this is far out, man...it's like we're on a treasure hunt, my fellow freak..."

Man In Front Of Me In Gas Station Line - "Hey, man, while you're, like, in search of ... I need some, Zig Zags, some, like,  Cones - Pre Rolled, a pack of , like, Juicy Fruit gum, a bagga Doritos, two corn dogs, two packages of Twinkies..."

Dear friends....I ain't got that kinda time and that kinda PATIENCE!!

Do we enjoy waiting for a driver to "get it in gear" when the light turns green? Heck no! What do ya think it will be like now, with wasted drivers in front of you, who don't really know if they are in a car or in Nirvana!!

You think obesity is on the uptick in this 21st century? Wait until we all get the "munchies" and eat tons of that junk food that tastes better than it has ever tasted in our lives! 

Of course, I could go on and on and on about this, but you understand, by now, that this legal weed stuff will not all be a bed of roses. Especially for those who do not partake!

On the other hand, if you do partake, it will not matter much...

What Will We Do In 2020?

I rarely do a serious blog article, but today, New Year's Eve, 2019, is no exception!

First...make a list of all the things you did wrong, mistakes you made, nasty personality disorders you displayed, and self harming, addictive behavior you gave in to in 2019.

You may need a LOT of paper, unless you do the list on a computerized device. I know, I'll need a LOT of paper!!

After that, gaze at your list and think about all that bad crap you did in 2019 and even before that, and after THAT, shred all that negative behavior in a shredder, or give it to your cat or dog to shred, which will symbolize eliminating all of that stupid behavior!

Then, get on your knees and pray to God, fervently, to give you, the willpower to be a decent person in 2020, instead of a selfish, self centered, heartless jerk, like, uh..some folks that will remain anonymous, to protect the not so innocent. 

I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking Danny is actually talking about himself, but is too ashamed to admit he's not perfect, and needs to improve by a huge margin in 2020. 

Look how innocent I am...or was!

Hey! Who's writing this blog, anyway? Let's put our laser-like focus on YOU, and take the spotlight off the man behind the curtain!

Let's not waste a nano second of Tom...

Tom Smothers

1. Go get a LOT of paper or computerized device.

2. Get a pen, if you're going the paper route.

3. Begin writing your past mistakes of 2019. (This may take hours)

4. Ponder over them until you can't stand it.

5. Shred or delete the list.

6. Pray incessantly to trash the past, and move forward to the future in peace and lovableness! 

Easy peasy!! 

I hope this blog posting will change your life forever, for the BETTER! 

This is worth a listen, folks!

As for me...I may need to take a trip to Carter Paper And Packaging for a whole roll of paper!! 

60,000 Views On My Blog!!!!!

mile·stone

/ˈmīlˌstōn/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. 1.

   a stone set up beside a road to mark the distance in miles to a particular place.
2. 2.

   an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.

   "the speech is being hailed as a milestone in race relations"

When we speak of milestones in our lives, we think of marriage, having children, beginning a career, discovering the Greg and Dan Radio Show...link to Greg and Dan Show...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/the-greg-dan-show/

However, reaching 60,000 views on my blog is a MAJOR milestone, of monumental, momentous magnificence for me!!

Think about it, folks! A stadium that holds 60,000 people is a really big stadium! An individual that lived 60,000 years would be quite elderly! $60,000 is more money than I'VE ever seen! Imagine having 60,000 cockroaches crawling around your kitchen?!! 60,000 marauding Macedonians would be terrifying, if you were the one being marauded!!

The point being, 60,000 is a whole lot!! So, I'm totally flabbergasted that I have reached 60,000 (actually, it's only 59, 994 right now, but by the time you read this it should be 60K) views in my lifetime!!

It goes without saying, that the reason I have 60,000 views is due to all of YOU, YOU, YOU!!! So I won't mention it. 

Just funnin' wit ya! 

Ya know, when you write a madcap, zany, insane blog, like I do, you need a lot of crazy readers to support you! Who have that bizarre sense of humor, understand the hidden messages, are not politically correct, are not overly sensitive snowflakes, and don't take life too seriously...which reminds me of a song I wrote about 60,000 years ago...

Yeah! I'm talkin' about all you guys and gals who continue to support this wacky blog consistently! 

It's really good that I'm telling you this now, because when I get up into the stratosphere of millions of views, I will probably forget about all of you who supported me in the beginning.

Just pullin' your legs, folks! I just wanted to share my joy with all my friends who make me feel like a REAL blogger!

Love you!!! 

Back On The Greg And Dan Show Tomorrow!!

It's not like this is my first time on the Greg and Dan radio show, but it's ALWAYS super exciting to reach, probably, millions of folks over the airwaves!

You'll need to get up very early in the morning to tune me in, if you live in America. 

Hey! Where's Alaska and Hawaii?

They will be broadcasting my classic style humor between 6:00 and 6:30 AM CST.

Now, if you live in California, like Kiel, it will be between 4:00 and 4:30 AM, which is ridiculously early!!

Then again, if you live in Australia, like Rebecca, it will be...uh...you can figure that out for yourself! I think it will be the next day, so you'll probably miss it, Bec! Sorry!

Here is the important part! The magic link, that allows you to listen from any point in the world...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/

Link above ⬆