♫ MADNESS MUSIC MONDAYS♪♪

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Another Monday when you are forced to listen to music I've written over the last 100 years! 

What shall it be today, hmmmm?

Me thinks it should be my agonizingly painful country song (with a big C for country), "If You Ain't Been There." YEEEE, HAAAAW!!!

I know what you're thinkin'!

Shoot far, I don't have to listen to this crap! 

I'll just turn my galdurned attention to somethin' else, by crackie! (Why do I have you talkin' like a country guy?)

Ahhh, but that's where I've gotcha, if you don't listen to my stupid song, how you gonna have something to make fun of, and laugh about the rest of the day?

The song begins with an organ sound to make it sound real churchy-like, and then a voice starts talkin', real preacher-like, and gives us the  basic theme-like of the song-like, which is...Don't judge people, rich or poor, because  you don't know what they've gone through in their lives , and you can't read their minds or hearts!

It is kind of like the old song,"Walk A Mile In My Shoes," but totally different!

Yeah, before you  abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes!

Now, where was I? 

Oh, yeah, my song! 

After the preacher says his worms, you hear a distinct "POP"( that reminds me of a magazine) of a champagne cork, and venture into my song that is designed to make you feel guilty about the bigoted attitude you have toward everyone.

Man, I'm so glad I'm perfect!

The guy in the song (guy part sung by me) is rich, and enjoys all the lifestyles of the rich and famous, and the girl (beautifully sung by Debbie Cannon) is dirt poor, and always struggling for everything.

 Wow! Ain't this gettin' boring?

However, here is the odd, intriguing twist to the song...in real life, I'm the girl!

You see, I've never known anything about drinking champagne whilst flying to Mexico, penthouses, diamond rings, hot tubs, yachts, and fancy things like that!

On the other hand, I know everything about junky old used cars with bad brakes and bald tires, sleepin' on the floor, because there were too many kids to fit in one bed, and having no money.

So, you see, I'm the girl in the song.

Also, if you're perceptive enough, you'll notice I use a lot of play on words thingy's in the song, like bad brakes/bad breaks, no bread/no dough, to stimulate your cerebral cortex.

Okay, Okay! Now here is the coolest part!

Somewhere in the song I ask you,  "Does this song ring a bell? Your life story, does it tell? As you listen to your radio?"

Sooo, you begins to think, well, I've never been on a yacht and been rich, OR, I've never had to sleep on the floor because there were too many kids, and then I say in the song, (TAA DAA!) "Well, I guess if you ain't been there, you don't know!"

Ha Haaa!!

You see?! Do you see now?!!

I'm not as mad as they all say!! I'm not crazy!!!

Nooo, indeed not, my good man!!!

If we have never experienced what another person has, uh, EXPERIENCED, how can we judge them?

Right? Right? 

Anybody? 

Where'd everybody go?