♫MADNESS MUSIC MONDAYS♪♪

How would you like the job of making a trip to hell, to try and sell matches to the devil?!!

Well, that's what it's like trying to pitch a song you've written to the people on Music Row in Nashville!

The devil has enough matches, and Nashville has enough songs, according to the Nashville elite.

I went to Nashville twice, to play my demo cassette tapes for them, and it was kind of a nightmare of the worst kind for a hopeful musician.

Forget about getting inside the gigantic publishing companies, like Sony!

That is like trying to get into Fort Knox!

Even the small publishers have their doors locked off to the public, and they won't "buzz" you in unless they know you.

If by some miracle you talk (or trick) your way into a publisher's office, they give you about 5 minutes, and if by another miracle they play your song, it's only for 10 seconds! 

If they don't hear something they think is out of this world amazing, in 10 seconds, they shut it off!

At least, that was my experience.

I wrote the song below to express my feelings on how Nashville broke my heart, but to cover over the pain, I made a funny video with it, to try and make you believe Nashville didn't scar my soul for eternity and beyond!

If you listen to the words closely, you will be able to actually feel the agonizing heartache I suffered when all my hopes and dreams were shattered and trampled upon by cruel, greedy, people that were not very nice and friendly to this poor wretched wandering  minstrel. ( This was during my "minstrel period")

Listen up!

If you are thinking about traveling to Nashville, or New York, or L.A. to make it BIG as a musician...here's my advice..

GO FOR IT!

Seriously, even though I was heartbroken at the time, I would not trade the experience for anything!

It would have been more agonizing to never have gone, and always be wondering "what if!"

Also, you never know if maybe one day they'll be looking through their boxes and boxes of cassette tapes and find one of mine, give it a listen, and I'll become a "Nashville Cat" after all!

So, anyway, Gary the Glirkazoid is portraying me in the video, and I think he gives an Academy Award winning performance in recreating my anger and frustration after Nashville broke my wittle heart!

Get yourself some tissues, 'cause this is a real tear jerker!

Begin watching...

Oh, Nashville, You're breakin' my heart,

You never loved me from the start,

Ain't looking pretty,

Miss Music City,

Oh, Nashville, You're breakin' my heart.

Oh, Nashville, You're killin' my dreams,

Tease Town you really ain't what you seem.

You said I'd make it, girl why'd you fake it,

Naughty, naughty, Nashville, You're killin' my dreams.

I laid down my money to play in your game,

But you don't want me in your Country Hall Of Fame,

Hillbilly baby, I'm showing my age,

And I never played the Grand Ole Opry stage.

Oh, Nashville, You've taken my soul,

And made it black as Kentucky coal,

You watched my tears roll down mean ole Music Row,

Oh, Nashville, You've taken my soul.

Oh, Nashvville...You're breakin' my heart.

THANK YOU!