Christmas Eve Poem OF 2013

Reindeer poop in little bags,

I love the gifts that we call gags,

Funny sweaters with funny faces,

Tickle me in funny places.

A lump of coal can make me laugh,

Or a rubber duck to share my bath,

Another thing that makes me grin,

Is a Santa beard for my chinny, chin, chin.

A Christmas album by Tiny Tim,

A rubber strap called "Your Home Gym,"

Some Silly String can make things bright,

Or a "leg lamp" to give some light!

A plastic mold of doggie vomit,

A blacklight poster of Dasher and Comet,

I'm not gonna say what they are doing,

But it's really fun to see them...on that poster.

A Cubs cap for a Cardinals fan,

A real old fruitcake in a can,

Uncle Max weighs about 450,

So a thong for him would be real nifty!

I love the stockings filled with toys,

And treats to bring your house pets joys,

There's nothing that can bring more glee,

Than when Fido pees upon the tree.

So when you get your silly present,

Just smile and act so very pleasant,

You'll get them back, 'cause you will trick it,

With that phony lottery ticket!