OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gary is a Glirkazoid, 

He lives in outer space,

He loves all creatures great and small,

Adores the the human race.

His faithful friend is Yellow Rose,

A Glirkazoid as well,

She helps him out in every way,

And he just gives her hell.

He doesn't mean to hurt her,

And give her so much grief,

But he's O.C.D. and A.D.D.,

Deep down and underneath.

Gary loves Earth culture,

From the "King" to Stevie Ray,

Yellow Rose loves anything,

That centers on Coldplay.

They fly across the universe,
To rescue weak and lowly,
Gary has enormous strength,
He's just a little roly-poly.

Yellow Rose is fit and fast,
Knows the martial arts to boot,
Although Gary doesn't tell her,
He thinks she's kind of cute.

They conquer evil monsters,
They fight for truth and justice,
If someone ever doubts their might,
They holler out, "Just trust us!"

They slew the Beast Of Balzadore,
Who ate half the population,
Of the little planet, Boomba,
And saved that alien nation.
(At least the ones that were left)

When their home planet, Glirka,
Was threatened with destruction,
They snuffed out the enemy,
With un-spontaneous combustion.

Even though they bicker,
Like two old married folk,
They carry out their missions,
They know that it's no joke.

Y. Rose and Gary care for us,
Like a Father and a Mother,
And they will always save us,
If they don't kill each other!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

 When we last visited Gary and Yellow Rose...The super-powerful, vicious, extremely fast Depublikratians have been chasing our two amazing heroes to put them to a S...L...O...W..., painful, humiliating DEATH!!

Why? You ask, with that puzzled look on your faze!

Gary had innocently destroyed the sacred, golden temple of the Depublikratians, where they had worshiped for 100 billion kreptons!!

Gary - "I just want to tell you I'm sorry, Yellow Rose."

Yellow Rose - "Sorry for what?"

Gary - "I got you into this, my friend! I'm the one who accidentally emulsificated the sacred temple of the Depublikratians, and they're out to kill the both of us!"

Yellow Rose - "No worries, buddy. This is not the first tom you've done some super boneheaded stunt that has caused us to be killed."

Gary - "Well, we ain't killed yet, and we REALLY were never completely killed those other toms, only mostly killed!"

There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead!

All of a sudden, a loud explosion comes from the back of the Silver Sausage, with a great flash of light!! Our valiant heroes are thrown across the poop deck into the coffee maker! The coffee pot is knocked from the base and lands upside down over Gary's head, which makes him look like an astronaut!

A gigantic Republikratian warship has made a direct hit on the "cull shield" and has done significant damage to the ship! 

Looking out the porthole, our dynamic duo can see, not one, not two, but about 222 warships following them with a blood lust for their, uh, BLOOD! Yeah, that's it, a blood lust for their blood!!

Gary - 'It looks like we will REALLY be "deep sixed" this tom, Yellow Rose! Before we go to that "big heavenly universe in the sky," there has been something I've been wanting to tell you for a long tom!" 

Yellow Rose - "Gary, you don't...

Gary - "PLEASE, let me finish for once, wouldya?"

Yellow Rose - "But you..."

Gary - Yellow Rose! I NEED to tell you this!

Yellow Rose - "Okay, but I ...

Gary - "Well, here goes!  I am your Father!"

Yellow Rose - "Ha Ha Ha! Gary, you're not my Father!"

Gary - "I know, but it sounded so cool sayin' it with this coffee pot over my head! 

Yellow Rose - "It kinda did, Gary! Anyway, what I was trying to tell you was that we are out of danger. We just flew into the Kumbaya section of the universe where all wars, disputes, anger, killing, noogies, and everything confrontational and bad are nullified and void!"

Gary - "Very cool, Yellow Rose! So, once again we are spared from death!

Yellow Rose - "Correct, my faithful friend, but now that this adventure is over, I have something I've been wanting to tell you for the longest tom!"

Gary - "What is it, Yellow Rose? What is it?!

Yellow Rose - "You have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe."

I AM COMPUTER ILLEGITIMATE 

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS TEST!!

My own Danny Maness music fun page is not allowing me to post on my own, cockadoodie, blog! 

I'm wondering if YOU can see the post and not me! 

Let me know if you can see the post for today, and that will be great! 

I wish things weren't always changing on the enter-net, whilst I stay the same!!

MY DAD'S SILLY SONGS

Besides being a phenominal baseball player, good provider, and great joke teller...my Dad knew a lot of silly songs that I remember up to this day!

I made a little video to chronical a few of them, while I tried to sing them in the way he did with his gravelly voice, although mine is not nearly as corduroy in texture! 

Before we watch the tribute to Paul Edgar Maness, I want to share how much fun it was going with him to his "Muny League" baseball games in St. Louis when I was a kid!

Back then, different companies like Mallinckrodt Pharmaceudicals, Carter Carburetor (where my Dad worked) and lots of other ones I can't remember...I think Monsanto, but I'm not sure, had baseball teams.

I believe they started out as baseball teams, and over the years changed to fast pitch softball.

All of this doesn't matter, anyway. My point is...umm...uh...let's see...the TAVERNS...YES...the TAVERNS after the games!

Dad would take me to the taverns after the games (that they almost always won) where he and all his teammates would treat me to whatever I wanted! 

Beer nuts, pretzels, ice cold pepsi, chips, the pin ball machines, bowling machines...I was in kid heaven!!

Thanks Dad! That was so cool...and thanks for the songs!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The Silver Sausage was almost at the breaking point after traveling at 1000 X warped speed, through the treacherous Aspertame Belt, across the space sea of Atlanticapacifica, and up the black hole of Corlon Oscopee!!

Gary - "We need more power, Yellow Rose!"

Yellow Rose - "I'm givin' her all she's got, Admiral!"

Gary - "Why did you say that in a Scottish accent, Y.R.?"

Yellow Rose - " I don't know. That always seems to happen when you say "we need more power!"

For the last 222 budd-light years, the super-powerful, vicious, extremely fast Depublikratians have been chasing our two amazing heroes to put them to a S...L...O...W..., painful, humiliating DEATH!!

Why? You ask, with that puzzled look on your faze!

Gary had innocently destroyed the sacred, golden temple of the Depublikratians, where they had worshipped for 100 billion kreptons, because he was trying to smoke out the Balogny Beast that he ASSUMED  was hiding in the edifice! (He wasn't!)

Instead of loading a smoke bomb in the Gaffer-gun, our genius, Gary, accidentally, loaded an emulsificator bomb and emulsificated the whole dang, diamond encrusted, priceless temple! 

Even though Gary said, "my bad," it didn't seem to pacify the bitter, bloodthirsty Depublikratians! 

Yellow Rose had absolutely nothing to do with the accident, but they considered her an accomplice, and had her "marked for death" as well! 

Hence, the mad, wild chase across the universe ensued!

If you want, join us for our next Out Of This World Wednesday to see the exciting finale of this extraordinary TRUE tale!

CRANKY, DUMB, AND TIRED

Doc changed my medication,

I told him not to do it,

When everything is goin' right,

That's not the time to screw it!

I was feelin' pretty good,

Almost witty and inspired,

But ever since he messed my meds,

I'm cranky, dumb, and tired!

"Danny Boy, you're doin' well,"

My "shrink" did sayeth like that,

"So I'll experiment with you,

Just like an old lab rat!"

"You're doing close to perfect,

But you need a bit re-wired,

These new pills have small side effects,

You'll be cranky, dumb, and tired!"

Feel like I've run a marathon,

When I awake from rest,

I'm not sure what the day is,

But I'll try to do my best,

To smile at everyone I meet,

While I end up mean and snappy,

I don't recall what year it is,

But I know that it'll be crappy!

I hope I soon recover from this, 

I'm lazy as a bum,

My mind is nearly wasted,

And I'm cranky, tired, and dumb!

DID OBAMA MAKE A POOR SWAP?

Bowe Bergdahl was swapped for 5 bloodthirsty terrorists, and everyone is all frazzled about it! 

Since I do not believe ANYTHING  I see on the "news" anymore, I'm just gonna talk about lopsided swaps that might have been.

Camilla Parker-Bowles for Princess Diana.

Tiny Tim for the Beatles.

Lassie for Arnold the pig.

Marilyn Monroe for Twiggy.

Lawrence Olivier for The 3 Stooges.

Abraham Lincoln for Al Jolson

Alfalfa for The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Johnny Carson for Conan O'brien.

King Kong for Boots, on Dora The Explora.

The United States Marine Corp for Barney Fife.

Brad Pitt for Lyle Lovitt.

Alaska for Rhode Island.

Ice Cream for slimy spinach.

The St. Louis Cardinals for the Cubs.