OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gary makes a perfect one point landing on Earth, and one point out of five ain't bad in Gary's case! 

Artists conception of the Silver Sausage Spazeship

Rosie - "I hope we can get this ship back off the ground, Gary!" 

Gary - "It's fine, Rosie! Not a single scratch!"

Rosie - "You're right, "Buck Rogers," there's about 500 scratches, 12 dents, a broken phrenibbulator, a cracked cull shield, and a smashed bumper!"

Gary - "Rosie, Rosie, Rosie! Don't you remember that the Silver Sausage has the ability to repair itself? 

At that, the Silver Sausage begins twisting, turning, creaking, tweaking and slowly repairing itself...just like Christine, the creepy car! 

Rosie - "Lands sake...THAT really creeps me out, Gary!"

Gary - "Lands sake? Where did you get that expression, Rosie!"

Rosie - "I was looking at an ancient book, entitled,"Cool Earth Expressions That Will Help Glirkazoids To Blend In On Earth!"

Gary - "Uh...okay. Anyway, we need to find Benny, grab the treasured 45 rpm record, and get it back to our home planet, Glirka, for safe keeping!"

Rosie - "I cannot wait to listen to Elvis sing, "I kissed a Glirkazoid And I liked It" on that old 45!"

Gary - "Are you crazy? 

"One...We are not permitted to listen to that song! Two...The old 45 is too fragile to be played by amateurs like us!

Three...We don't have a cockadoodie record player...dang it!"

Now we see our intrepid warriors going door to door in Paducah, Kentucky, asking for Benny, and they are getting sore tired until THIS happens...

(Rosie and Gary approach an old southern mansion on the outskirts of Paducah, and Gary knocks on the door. An ancient looking man (who looks a lot like Elvis) opens the door...

Gary - "We are looking for Benny!"

Old geezer - "Why, I'm Benny!"

Then Gary says the secret code message to him.

Gary - "Muse is hot!" (No response from the old geese!) "I said, MUSE is HOT!" (Still no response!)

Rosie - "Gary!! It's not MUSE is hot, it's COLDPLAY is hot!!"

On hearing that, "pops" responds with, "so is Texas in July," and he hands Rosie the priceless 45 rpm record! 

At that very moment, a strange creature jumps out from behind some bushes, and grabs the valuable record! 

Rosie and Gary cannot believe their eyes! The horrible creature that has been following them from Glirka, across the vast universe, around asteroids, and all the way to Paducah...is...is...wait for it...

Please play dramatic music! 

BIG GAZZA!!!

Big Gazza - "Gidday, Mates! I've been waitin' ta get this bloody record since Matilda was a pup, and now I' m gonna play it on this old, portable, battery operated record player before I share it with the universe! (EVIL LAUGH) HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Rosie - "You can't do that, Big Gazza! If other races of creatures hear, "I Kissed A Glirkazoid, and I Liked It," they will all descend upon our planet by the billions, and want to kiss us, mate with us, and who knows what else with us!!!" 

Big Gazza - "Me no care, pretty girl Glirkazoid! I'm giving this old record a spin right now, just for the fun of it!" (He plays the record)

Big Gazza begins crying and hands the recording back to our super heroes.

Big Gazza - "That's the most beauteous song I ever heard! I cannot take it from you two! It belongs to the Glirkazoids!"

Gary - "Well, Rosie, another mission accomplished! Where shall we go for lunch?"

Rosie - "White Castle, of course!!"

Out Of This World Wednesday Will Be Preempted By My New Song!

Please enjoy this musical interlude!

Next week...we will resume our exciting adventures of Gary and Rosie...in...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!

That stalagmite on the right reminds me of a ...uh...I think it starts with a P! 

As Gary and Rosie zoom off to Paducah, Kentucky, in their Silver Sausage Spazeship, 

to retrieve the priceless 45 rpm record, entitled, I Kissed A Glirkazoid And I liked It, by Elvis, they are followed by a mysterious, ugly warship, piloted by a more mysterious creature, intent on grabbing that record that could cause the demise of the whole Glirkazoid race!

I've got it! That stalagmite looks like a big POPSICLE!!

Now where was I?

Gary - "Rosie, I think we are being tailed!"

Rosie - "Can you make out what kind of ship it is?"

Gary - "This is no time to "make out," Rosie! We are on a serious mission!"

Rosie - (Gets right in his face and speaks loudly) "Clean out your ears, grandpa! What kind of ship is it?!"

Gary - "You don't have to yell...I ain't deef!" (Gary looks through his stare-a-scope) "Yee doggies, I've never seen a spazeship like this one, but I can tell you one thing about it."

Rosie - "What's that?"

Gary - It's BUTT UGLY!" 

It's like a checkerboard meets a referee, meets tang , meets a war bird...on "acid!" 

Rosie - "Let me look, Gary!" (She looks through the stare-a-scope) "I think it's kind of cool!"

Gary - "Yeah, right! You're the one that thinks Chris Martian looks cool, too!"

Rosie - "MARTIN not martian! How many times do I have to tell..."

All of a sudden, their usual bickering is silenced by a warning signal...

Please press alarm for more realism!

Rosie - "Oh, crap! That's the alarm for an asteroid approaching!"

Gary - "We need to emulsficate the asteroid before it smashes the Silver Sausage, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Emulsificator at the ready, Captain!"

Gary - "On my count! One, two, EMULSIFICATE!!"

In less than a nano second, the gigantic, bigger that New York City, asteroid is emulsificated into tiny, little, burnt out ashes!

Gary - "Good shot, Co-Captain, Rosie! We can kiss our asteroid goodbye! You're beauty-full! Did I say beauty-full? Uh, I meant, umm...DUTY-full...yeah...uh...that's what I meant, Rosie...you always do your duty...you are full of duty-fullness!"

Rosie - "No worries, Gary! I know what you meant."

Rosie peers through the stare-a-scope again.

Rosie - "That funky looking mystery spazeship, that was tailing us, is gone! I wonder if the asteroid debris blew it out of the sky?"

Gary - "We can't worry about that now, Rosie. We are approaching Earth!"

Rosie - "Earth is so purdy! One of the most beautiful planets in the universe!"

Gary - "Yeah, it reminds me of a blue marble I used to play with in my youth."

Little do they know the dangers that await them on this deceptively beauteous planet!

Join our adventurers next week for OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gopp, The Magnificent, is explaining the secret, next to impossible, mission that our favorite Glirkazoids, Rosie and Gary, are about to embark upon.

Little do they know, a mysterious figure is listening to every worm out of his mouse, whilst hiding behind a great big stalactite, or is it a stalagmite? What's the diff? 

The super horrifying, mystery creature was planning on pouncing on our heroes right away, but then changed his mom, and decided to follow them on their mission, to see what rewards it may bring! The creature begins to laugh within himself, or HERself (it's not easy to discern the sex of this abnormal, disgusting lifeform)..."Hee hee hee hee, hoo hoo, chortle, chortle chortle," but then realizes he, or she, may give himself, or herself, away, and shuts up.

Gopp - "Gary and Rosie, you will begin your mission by doing an about face and walking out of this grand, cavernous edifice and make a sharp right...keep going...keep going until you reach the sea of Nehi...

where you will meet a magic, giant platypus, named Penelope.

Penelope will let you ride upon her back (if you give her an Oreo cookie),

where she will take you to the Island of Bok Nakid, where no photos are allowed.

On that really fun island you'll discover a vintage airplane (like the one Indiana Jones crashed on the golf course)

that you will fly through a "wormhole" to Texas, in the year 2015, where you will partake of some good BBQ, line dancin' to There's A Yellow Rose In Texas, and "red eye" whiskey..."

Gary - "Excuse me, Gopp, but I'm having a hard tom remembering all of your directions.

Gopp - (Whispering) "That's okay, Gary, I'm just making  all of this up to throw off the mysterious monster, who is hiding behind that stalagmite...or is it a stalactite?" 

Gary - "I think a stalacTITE is on the floor, because it's stuck real TITE to the floor of the cave, and a stalagMITE is one that hangs from the ceiling of the cavern, because it MITE fall down!"

Rosie - "Gary, that is so WRONG! It's just the opposite! Let me go over here and show you!"

Rosie walks over to the exact, giant stalagmite, or stalactite, where the vicious beast is hiding and starts to explain what's what about cave formations... and immediately disappears!

Gary - "Rosie! Rosie! Oh, Gopp! The horrible monster must have grabbed the love of my lice!" 

Gopp - "Oh, my! That's terrible! I feel so bad for you! I didn't know Rosie was the love of your life!" 

Gary - " No, Gopp! I said that she's the love of my LICE, my adopted pet lice just LOVE Rosie!"

Rosie - "Would you dudes stop talking about lice, and pull me out of this hole I fell in!" 

Gary and Gopp - ROSIE! You're ALIVE!!!

Gopp and Gary run over and pull her out of the hole.

GARY - "We thought the mysterious creature abducted you, Rosie!"

Rosie - "What mysterious creature? I just fell in this gal durned hole because the lighting is so bad in this cavernous edifice! By the way stalacTITES are on TOP...TITES TOP, TITES TOP!" 

Gary - "I don't think your tops are too tite, Rosie. They look just rite to me!" 

Rosie - "Good grief...I give up!"

Gopp, The Magnificent - "You can't give up yet, Rosie! I haven't even told you about the mission yet!"

Rosie - "Okay, tell us while I wash the mud off myself in this cement pond." (Rosie dives into the glimmering pond)

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Noooo, Rosie! You just dove in to the Pond Of Indecision...which will make you indecisive for about 30 days, or is it 40 days?"

Rosie - "Well, I better jump out...or maybe I'll stay in here...but, I can't stay in here all day...on the other hand, it feels so refreshing in here...I'm coming out...no I'm not...

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Oh, my, Rosie is already under the influence of the pond!"

Gary pulls Rosie out of the Pond Of Indecision.

Gopp, The Magnificent - "Okay, now that the fierce, ugly mystery creature is gone, I'll tell you the REAL lowdown on the super secret mission."

"Ya go out the cave entrance, hop in your legendary spazeship, The Silver Sausage,

and zoom off  to Paducah, Kentucky, on the planet Earth."

"Go door to door, asking for a dude named Benny. If you're mistaken for Jehovah's Witnesses, just let them believe that, it will enhance your cover."

"When you finally contact Benny, use this secret code message, "Coldplay is hot," and Benny will reply with, "So is Texas in July." 

"If he doesn't answer in that EXACT way, it's not really Benny, and you need to keep searching until you find him."

"When you find the authentic Benny, he will give you an old 45 rpm record of  Elvis, singing "I Kissed A Glirkazoid and I liked It," which is the rarest record in the universe!"

"Guard it with your lice...and when the lice tire out, guard it yourselves!" 

Gary - "Wait a minute, Gopp, you want us to travel all the way to Earth for an old 45 rpm record?"

Rosie - "I get it! The fate of the Glirkazoid race depends upon it, Gary! If that record is seen and heard by others, the whole universe will decend on our planet, Glirka, trying to kiss us and mate with us, and we will never be a pure, unadulterated race again!"

Gary - "Rosie! Yaaaay! You're not indecisive anymore!"

Rosie - "You're correct, "long eyes"...I used the universal cure for just about any ailment, and now I'm fine!"

Gary - "What cure is that?!"

Rosie - "Chocolate!"

Alrighty, now...Rosie and Gary are ready to trek on over to Earth...

But...little do they know that a hideous, ungodly life form is following them to swipe the priceless 45 rpm record from their little hands...

Tune in next week, boys and girls, for our next exciting episode of...

OUT

OF

THIS

WORM

WEDNESDAY

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Once again, our fearless warriors, Gary and Rosie, have been summoned to the gigantic, cave-like structure, that has served as the magnificent, beauteous edifice where the Supreme High Glirkheads have resided and ruled the Glirkazoids for eons upon eons of tom!

As they slowly walk through the kat-a-comb-like, sacred hallways, they are guided by lovely, colorful, floor-essent lights that permeate their path with ear-a-dess-scent brilliance, while lovely Coldplay music invades their little eardrums, in a seductive and super surreal way.

Gary - "This must be BIG, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Why do you say that, Gary?"

Gary - "Look! They have bowls of Chex Mix and glasses of Diet Coke along the route! They only provide that for SPECIAL GUESTS!"

Rosie - "Or...for those about to go on suicide missions!"

Gary - "All of our missions are suicide missions, so I'm gonna eat myself silly until we reach those ugly, old Supreme Glirkheads!"

A huge voice bellows all around them! 

"UGLY? OLD?" 

This was no ordinary voice! 

No way!

This was the voice of the greatest, most legendary, super-powerful High Glirkhead that has ever sat on the Supreme Glirkhead Counsel!!

Yes! This was the mighty voice of Gopp, The Magnificent!!!!

At that, they looked across the humungous cavern, and saw ALL of the 9 Supreme High Glirkhead Justices sitting way up high, behind their towering, shiny, mahogany bench, with Gopp siiting smack dab in the middle! 

Gary - "Ha ha ha, guys! I saw you there all the tom! I was just joking with the ugly and old comment! Hee hee hee!"

Gopp - "It matters not, Gary! We have a mission so important for you and Rosie , that we had to speak it to you in person so it wouldst not be intercepted by our enemies!"

Rosie - "Does it have anything to do with Eye-Sucks, the evil, murderous spaze terror-its?"

Gopp - "Why, yes, Rosie! How did you know?" 

Rosie - "It's all over the outer-net, Mr. Gopp!"

Gopp - "We must have a leak on the Supreme Council! In fact, at our age, we have a LOT of leaks! Get it?! Leaks? Old dudes? Hee hee, ha ha!"

Gary - "Well, it DEPENDS! Hoo hoo, that was funny! Leaks? Depends?"

Now, EVERYONE is laughing and having a good tom!

But, little do they know what horrifying creature is hiding behind a stalactite, waiting for the perfect chance to pounce upon our lovable little Glirkazoids!

See ya next week...all you fans!!!