OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Spaze!!!

Da vinyl front deer! Deez are da voyeurs of da starship, Silver Sausage! 

To find nude lice, eggs splore the univerz, to go where no Glirkazoid haz gone B-4, and who, disguised as Klark Cent, fites a neber in ding baddle, for trooth, jug stuff, and da Glirkazoidian vay!!!

Admiral Gary and his fadeful injun companion, Rosie, with a cloud of ducks, and a mytee Hio Sliver, lurk in da fearful hearts of creechores evil and malevolently wicket!

Once again I have proved you can't drink moonshine and write a blog at the same tom! Just messin' witcha! Ha Ha Ha! I don't drink adult beverages anymore...or any less! Hee haw, hee haw!!!

Rosie - "Hey, Gary! What do you think about the candidates running for president of Glirka?"

Gary - "Before I answer your thought provoking question, would you PLEASE change the font color, it's so girly.

Rosie - "Is this better?"

Gary - "No! This is like reverse newspaper print! Try something different, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Hows about this?"

Gary - "Not bad, but since I will be discussing the presidential candidates, could we use the patriotic colors of Glirkazoids?"

Rosie " Here ya go, buddy!"

Gary - "THANKS! This is perfect! Although it gives me a little deja-vu, for some strange reason!"

Rosie - "Fancy that!" (Chuckle, chuckle)

Rosie - "So, Gary, since you are a legendary hero, and greatly admired by the whole populace of our planet, Glirka, what do you think about this crop of presidential candidates, hmm?"

Gary - "Did you see my Milky Way candy bar, Rosie? I just had it here on the table and now it's gone?"

Rosie - "I'm sure it's around here somewhere, but about the candidates...

Gary - "Did you eat it, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Of course not! I don't even like Milky Way candy bars...now, if it had been a Snickers I..."

Gary - "ADMIT IT, ROSIE! You had to have taken it...we are the only ones on this spazeship! I'm walkin' away from this question and answer session!!

Rosie - "Gary, what's that dark stain on your butt?"

Gary immediately regrets having prunes, peanuts and beer for lunch!

Rosie goes over and smells the stain. A very courageous move, INDEED!

Rosie - (Begins to laugh and talk at the same tom) "Ha ha, Gary...you...ha ha ha, sat on your , Milky Way bar, ha ha ha ha..."

Gary - "Oh, I, uh, guess I put my Milky Way bar on the chair instead of the table. Isn't that funny?"

Rosie - "Ha ha ha ha...it sure is! Especially the fact that you sat on it, and accused me of stealing...HEY...you accused ME of eating your stupid Milky Way...you...you...who bears false witness!!!"

Gary - "Sorry. Now lets get back to the candidates."

Rosie - "Not so fast, Buster Brown! Turn around (click) I just took a picture of your butt stain and now I just put it on Spazebook for all our friends to see!"

Gary - "But, Rosie, they're gonna think..."

Rosie - "Exactamundo, poopy pants!!

Oh, my! What a childish, immature episode of Out Of This World Wednesday...but I kinda liked it!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY POME

(I never could spell poem!)

What a happy day it was,

When Rosie and Gary were born,

The peaceful creatures said "hooray,"

The wicked were forlorn. 

It was prophesied that they would come,

To save the universe,

Straight from the land of Glirkazoids,

A blessing, not a curse.

They learned the art of kick-yo-bot,

A style of self defense,

Rosie was a champion,

While Gary came in tenth.

When it came to education,

Gary kinda struggled,

Rosie tutored him a bit,

When he became befuddled. 

It was clear to everybody,

Rosie was a chosen one,

But there were doubts about our Gary,

Some even called him "dumb!"

Rosie knew they were mistaken,

In him she had pure faith,

She KNEW he was a chosen one,

Plus, he had the cutest face! 

Then came their day of testing,

Would they be the real deal,

The Glirkazoids all gathered,

For the contest and free meal.

They made it to the tropsticle course,

When much to their surprise,

A giant pterodactyl came,

From the purkle Glirkan skies.

He plucked up little Rosie,

And began to fly away,

Which made our Gary angry,

'Cause that's no way to play.

Gary grabbed a heavy glirkastone,

And hurled it at the beast,

He wasn't gonna let that "bird,"

Have Rosie as his feast!

He hit the pterodactyl,

Squarely on the knee,

Which made the ugly giant,

Drop Rosie in the sea.

Gary swam to her quite swiftly,

And saved her little bum,

With all the crowd a-watching,

Proving he's a chosen one.

Now for eons upon eons,

Our heroes never fail,

To vanquish all the evil beasts,

Throw enemies in jail.

Even when the future's dark,

When things get very scary,

We always can depend upon,

Sweet Rosie and brave Gary!

BURMA SHAVE

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

"Those who lose dreaming are lost!" 

The greatest comic and thespian in the universe, Gounderus, has been given the afore mentioned message, delivered by the amazing Australian prophet, Big Gaz. 

 Gounderus                              Big Gaz         

Instead of me going into all the details, go read last week's blog to save me some typing, okay? 

Did you read it? Did you notice the part with Gounderus and Big Gaz? Did you see the part about Gary and Rosie hunting down the big worm?

If not, I suggest you do dat now! I'll wait. 

Let's proceed, gang!

Gounderus - "So, here I am, in my dressing room, rich...famous...adored by my trillions of fans throughout the universe, and about to step out on the stage once again to knock 'em dead with my comedic genius, but something is missing. I should be ecstatically HAPPY, but something is wrong! 

Maybe it has something to do with the message Big Gaz gave me. Naaaah, it couldn't be that!"

Okay! Now through the magic of cinnamontography, we zoom in on an oasis in the middle of a desert, on a distant planet, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down the gargantuan worm of enormous size, who has swallowed the entire populace of the Kia Lambourghini province!

Gary - "I have a brilliant idea, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Oh, boy, that's bad."

Gary - "What did you just mumble, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh, I said, Oh, joy, I'm glad!"

Gary - "Have you ever seen a robin listening for worms and then sticking his/her beak into the ground and grabbing a big juicy one?"

Rosie - "Yes, but I don't think..."

Gary - "Well, I'll simply put my ear to the ground here...

When Gary puts his ear to the ground, the enormous worm BURSTS from the earth, and raises Gary up about 222 meters above Rosie! 

Gary - "Yeeeee-haaaaw! I got 'im, Rosie, I got 'im!!!

Rosie - (Yelling up to Gary) "Do you have him, or does he have you?!"

Gary - "Yes, you're right! We need a way to make him "hurl," so the entire province of Kia Lambourghini can be saved!" 

Rosie - "I happen to have the perfect thing to make him throw up, Gary!"

Gary - "What?!"

Rosie - "I said, I HAVE THE PERFECT THING TO MAKE HIM PUKE!!

Gary - "How you gonna get it way up here and put it in his mouth?!"

Rosie - "This ain't goin' in his mouth, it's goin' in his EAR!"

At that, Rosie whips out her trusty little music player, and begins to play this song that she obtained from deleted Earth files...

In a nano second, the big, bad worm upchucks the inhabitants of Kia Lanbourghini, the worm quickly wiggles away, and our super heroes are mobbed by the thankful Kia Lambourghinites!!

At this monumental conclusion to a magnificent story, we segue back to our beloved Gounderus...

However, he is not in that fancy dressing room of the lavish floating theatre, where we saw him earlier.  He is sleeping on the couch in his humble home, on his home planet of Ocixem Wen. He is waking up...

Gounderus - "Where...wha...what happened to my wealth, fame, trillions of fans...?

"Oh, my! It was all just a dream...but I think I got the message! Big Gaz told me, "Those who lose dreaming are lost"...sooo, if I keep on dreaming about success, I will never lose my direction, my motivation, my, uh, let's see...enthusiasm for life..."

All of a sudden, we zoom in on Gounderus again, asleep in his magnificent dressing room...

Stage manager - (Knocking on the door) "Gounderus...5 minutes 'till showtime!"

Gounderus - (Wakes up from a short power nap) "Uh...okay...be right out! Whee doggies! I must have been dreaming, all along! Ha Ha! Maybe I'll relate my weird dream to the audience! What a larf!! Tee hee, hee hoo..."

In a flash, the scene changes to Gary, sleeping on the poop deck of the Silver Sausage. He awakens with a start!!

Gary - "Rosie, I had the most unusual dream! It was about Gounderus getting a message about dreams, you and me defeating a giant worm who had swallowed a whole province of folks, you making the worm throw up..."

Rosie - "You best stop eating those greasy White Castle hamburgers before you go to bed, buddy!"

Gary - "I guess you're right, Rosie, but it all seemed so real! 

Donna - "Honey, wake up! Are you having a bad dream?!"

Me - "Huh? Wha? No, babe, I just had a very wild and crazy dream, about Rosie and Gary making a worm of gigantic proportions regurgitate a bunch of folks, Gounderus becoming famous, and then NOT famous, but Big Gaz is telling him not to stop dreaming, because that's not cool, and floating theatres that..."

Donna - "Hey, why not put all of that wacky dream in your next Out Of This World Wednesday?"

Me - "Naaah, it would just put everybody to sleep."

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

A super eerie noise was coming from the dressing room closet of Gounderus, the great, universal comedian, who has performed for all the Crown Princes of Europia and beyond, yond, yond (this is an echoing sound), yond yond!!

No one can watch this without laughing!

Gounderus - "Who dat?"

Mysterious Creature In The Closet - "Who DAT?"

Gounderus - "Who dat say "who dat" when I say who dat?"

At that precise moment, the closet door swings open, and the face of the "mysterious creature" is revealed...It is...

Play this for dramatic effect!

BIG GAZ!!!

Prophet, sooth sayer, prognosticator, foreteller of events, sage, parsley, and not a bad Sean Connery replicator!! 

Gounderus - "Gig Baz...I mean Big Gaz... is it really YOU?" 

Big Gaz - "What do you think, mate?"

Gounderus - "Well, it looks like you, and sounds like you, and you said mate, but I need a little more Aussie talk to be sure!" 

Big Gaz - "Onya, mate! I tooks me kangaroo to the Aborigine outback walkabout, and founds me a didgeridoo, rot in the middle of a billabong, where a dingo was plyin' with a kwala, and a wallaby was bein' ate by a croc!"

Gounderus - "It IS you, Big Gaz!"

Big Gaz - "Not really, Mate! I'm a flippin' "hollow graham"...kind of like a T.V. image without all the electronical parts!"

Gounderus - "Don't you mean a hologram?"

Big Gaz - "That's what I just said!!"

Gounderus - "Anyway...do you have a prophetic message for me, to guide me to more fame and fortune?"

Big Gaz - " Yeah...uh...I do, mate...I do! Um...let me see...Those who lose dreaming are lost!"

Gounderus - "That's it? That wasn't prophetic! That sounded like an ancient Aboriginal proverb!"

Big Gaz - "That's all I got for ya, sook! Gidday!"

At that, the hologram instantly dissipates into the vast blackness of outer spaze! 

Gounderus - "What a silly dude! Big Gaz hologramed himself all the way from the planet Earth to give me a nonsensical Aboriginal proverb. Ha! What a laugh! How can someone lose dreaming? EVERYBODY dreams! Furthermore, I NEVER get lost! I'm like a walking UPS System! (Universal Positioning System)

"Hey...wait a second...maybe this is all a dream! I'll stick my head out of this porthole, into the oxygenless, vast, blackness of spaze to see if I'm dreaming. If I can still breathe, I'll know I'm dreaming, if I CAN'T breathe, I'll know I'm awake! Ha! Why does everyone say I'm so dumb?"

Goundy proceeds to open the porthole, and then stick his head out into the endless, oxygen free, black, vastness of outer spaze....

Here is the result!!!

Gounderus quickly pulls his head back inside the floating, outer spaze theatre! 

Gounderus - (Gasping for precious air) Now...(gasp)...that...(gasp, gasp)...was...(gasp, gasp, gasp)...stu...(gasp, gasp)...pid...(cough, cough...gasp...gasp)...at least...(gasp)...I know...(gasp)...I'm...(gasp, cough)...not....(cough, cough)...dreaming...

The phone starts playing it's special ringtone...

Goundy answers the phone...

Gounderus - "Gounderus The Great here! How may I help you?

Rhymesauce - "Hey, this is Rhymesauce, I was reading the blog, and decided to do a rhyme about it!"

Gounderus - "Cool! I haven't seen you since we were enslaved in the pupunite mines, on the planet Zaddy-Oh! Okay, lay on the rappin', buddy!

Rhymesauce begins to rap...

"Out World Wednesday, mysterious creatures,

Rosie and Gary, Fearless Leaders,

Glirkazoids, Gounderus, Gazza, Rhymesauce,

Floating theatre, take a spazewalk,

Porthole poppin', Aussie speech,

Ancient proverb, Tryin' to teach!"

Gounderus - "That was awesome, Rhymesauce, but I gotta get ready for my show now. Taa!"

The scene now segues from Goundy, telling jokes to the mirror, to a burning desert on a far away planet in the Celexa galaxy, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down a gigantic rebel worm (like the ones in Dune) that has swallowed the whole province of Kia Lambourghini! 

Rosie - "We need to hurry, Gary, before the humongous, rebel worm digests the entire population of Kia Lambourghini...but how do we find the hideous creature?"

Gary - "Elementary, my dear, Rosie! To catch a worm, you need to think like a worm!"

Rosie - "That should be easy for you, my little green friend."

Gary - "What was that?!"

Rosie - "I said, what a brilliant idea, my genius, guru Glirkazoid guy!" (chortle, chortle)

Gary - "Now, if I were a worm, I would go...uh...uh..."

Rosie - "Under the ground?"

Gary - "I'd go under the ground! Eureka! I figured it out! Now, exactly, where under the ground would I go?"

Rosie - "Since this is the desert, I would think near a body of water, in an oasis."

Gary - "Rosie, would you PLEASE be quiet for a second, and let me think like a worm! Worms need water, don't they?"

Rosie - "Yee-esss?"

Gary - "And the only water in the desert is found in an oasis, right, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh...riiiight?"

Gary - "Soooo, I have cleverly deduced that the gynormous rebel worm must be under the ground, near the water, in that oasis off in the distance!"

Rosie - "Bravo, Sherlock! You done, done it again!! (chortle) (a chortle is a breathy, gleeful laugh, or chuckle)

Gary - "Let that worm try to wiggle away now, we will hook that monster in short order!"

Rosie - "Oh, good grief!! 

What's going on? We seem to be focusing in on two totally different stories, that have no possible connection! Are we in some kinda bizarro world or something? 

Gounderus has achieved his dream of becoming a big time comedian, so what's with all the weird messages for him?

What does Rosie and Gary chasing around an enormous worm have to do with Gounderus, a billion light years away? 

If you're even an eensy bit curious...join us next week for...