OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
EPISODE FIVE
Poor, dear, sweet Rosie has been ambushed by one of the fiercest, nastiest, ugliest creatures in the whole dang universe!!
A QWERTYASTROPOTOMUS!!!!
Quertyastropotomus
Ain't he just Walmart butt ugly?!!
Besides being 657 feet tall, with teeth as big as a Mcdonald's highway restaurant sign...he is highly intelligent, with lasers in his eyes, and skin that is tougher than 100 layers of Kevlar!!!
Rosie - "Oh, shazam! Here I am, out here alone, fixing the cull shield on the Silver Sausage Spazeship, and a vicious quertyastropotomus is about to devour my little self!!"
At that instant, our brave Gary leaps out of the Silver Sausage, prepared for battle!!!
Besides being 657 feet tall, with teeth as big as a Mcdonald's highway restaurant sign...he is highly intelligent, with lasers in his eyes, and skin that is tougher than 100 layers of Kevlar!!!
Rosie - "Oh, shazam! Here I am, out here alone, fixing the cull shield on the Silver Sausage Spazeship, and a vicious quertyastropotomus is about to devour my little self!!"
At that instant, our brave Gary leaps out of the Silver Sausage, prepared for battle!!!
Gary- "Have no fear, my dear, I am here, to slay the qwertyastropotomus, from top to bottomus!!"
Gary taunts the abominable beast, to draw his attention away from his beloved Rosie!!
Gary - "Hey, big, dumb and ugly! Why not pick on somebody more your size, you poor excuse for a lower life form!!
Actually, Gary is only half an inch taller than Rosie, but when you're talking to a 657 foot tall monster you need every psychological advantage you can get.
The taunting works, and the gigantic monstrosity fires two powerful laser beams from his horrible green eyes, at our heroic Gary!
Gary is not even fazed by the direct hit, because he is wearing his stylish laser proof spaze suit!!
Gary - "Is zat all ya got, lizard lips?!! Hows about a blast from my super sized emulsificator weapon?!!"
Gary fires the weapon with a blast that could knock down the Giant Fortress Of Amalakek...but it only causes the qwertyastropotomus to stumble back two baby steps!!
Giant fortress of Amalakek
Rosie - "That is one tough cookie, Gary! I'm running over to help you!"
Gary - "Don't be a fool, Rosie! Stay behind that rock, until it's all over!"
Rosie - "No way, ho-zay!!!"
As Rosie is running, like Rudy The Rabbit, over to Gary, they hear a tremendously loud FART sound coming from the qwertastropotomuses bum!
Oh, if only it was JUST flatulence! No, no! Instead, about a thousand "death dealing devil drones" have swarmed from the monsters arse, to sting Rosie in places she ain't never been stung before!!!
Quick as a beautiful white stallion, Gary pulls out his Lone Ranger lunch box!
Rosie - "This is no time for lunch, you knucklehead! Save me from all these devil drones!!"
Gary - "No worries, my beateous flower...my Lone Ranger lunch box just happens to contain my super powerful creature repellent! One little squirt, and the devil drones are history!!"
Gary squirts one little squirt, and the devil drones drop like...uh...let's see...flies!! That's it! They drop like cartoon flies in a Raid commercial!!
Now Gary begins to apply Chapstick to his own bodacious lips.
Lips?
Rosie - "Is that Chapstick another form of monster repellent, Gary?"
Gary - "No. My lips are just dry."
Rosie - "Oh. So what are ya doin' with the tweezers, Mars Bar, and grabbit's foot?"
Gary - "Aha! Now that's all part of my plan, my dear Rosie!!
"Qwertyastropotomuses LOVE Mars Bars, so that will draw him close. After he comes carelessly close, I'll pull one of his toe hairs with these tweezers. That causes excruciating pain to a qwertyastropotomus, and the grabbit's foot is for good luck that he doesn't stomp me in to a mushy blob!"
Rosie - "It's working, Gary! The beast is coming close to you and eating your Mars Bar, and now he's in excruciating pain, since you've plucked him, and he hasn't mushed you yet, due to the grabbit's foot!! Now whatta ya gonna do?"
Gary - "The fiesta rezis- tonce, Rosie!!"
Gary whips out his photo of Steve Urkel, and holds it in front of the qwertyastropotomus! The gigantic beast begins to laugh and then crack, and starts falling to pieces in big chunks!
Rosie - "Gary! My hero! How did you know that photo of Steve Urkel would destroy the horrible qwertyastropotomus?"
Gary - " You know how Steve Urkel cracks us up, right."
Rosie - "He does, but not like that!!"
Gary - "Well, I knew this qwertyastropotomus was trillions of years old, by counting the rings around his ankles, and most likely had not laughed for billions of years! This made him very dry and brittle on the inside, so when he cracked up, he LITERALLY cracked up!!"
Rosie - "You actually put a thermal nucleated bomb in the Mars Bar, didn't ya?"
Gary - "Yeah, but the Urkel story was much better."
Rosie - "Shut up, and hand me that pheckle wrench, you weirdo. We need to fix the Silver Sausage for our next adventure of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!
Did Gary rub cream on Rosie's stings? Especially the places she's never been stung before? Maybe her pheckle perhaps :)
ReplyDeleteBig Gaz! Why?!! Why is your mind ALWAYS in the gutter?!! By the way it's HIS pheckle and HER shmeckle! Maybe I need to print a Glirkazoidian Dictionary! Yea gads!!!
DeleteGreat Blog! Scary Monster!
ReplyDeleteThank you, baby!!!!
DeleteHahaha love it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kiel! A compliment from you is like receiving a compliment from Gary Larson, or maybe, Theodore Geisel!! I REALLY appreciate it!!!
Delete