A Few Tips On Living Forever, Or Even Longer!

Body and mind need to be at peak condition to endure the slings and arrows that life slings and shoots at us, relentlessly, in 10,000 little ways on every single little day! 







It is imperative (of vital importance, crucial) that we partake of the healthiest fruits and veggies, exercise, and fill our beleaguered (under pressure) brains with an abundance of knowledge (that may lead to wisdom) to withstand the onslaughts of the evil hordes that plot against us while we are not looking. 

Mongul hordes

Paranoid, I am not. Who said I was paranoid? I'm not paranoid at all! I'm only trying to say that we need to shield ourselves from the dark, depressing, debilitating disasters that will definitely destroy our delightful dispositions. 

Kale is something that mankind/womankind absolutely needs to strengthen the core fibers of our being, to fight off the ravaging super-diseases that are, at this very minute, permeating the cerebral cortex of our brains with flesh eating bacteria.

Too bad that kale tastes all dry, bitter and tough, and makes us choke like a dog on a chicken bone.

 Our delicate, fragile minds are constantly bombarded with incessant political poison, nastiness, violence, hatred, and hypocrisy that spews out from our television set, smart phone, computer, radio, View Master, and Victrola.

We can stop this mass brainwashing from those malicious hordes of devices by turning them off and reading the classic literature of America.

For example...

1. Mad Magazine

2. Peanuts

3. The Far Side books

4. Chickens Butts And Coconuts by me.

5. Hitchin'...God's Way Of Letting You Know You Don't Have A Car by me.

6. Bloggadocious 222 by me.

7. Dr. Seuss books

8. Calvin And Hobbes 

9. Erma Bombeck books.

10. Little Golden books.

After reading all of this wonderful literature, your corrupted little minds will become pure and fresh as the driven snow on a pristine mountain top in the Rockies, where they make Coors beer! 

Exercise may be the most important thing we need to do to reverse the curse of aging.

According to the commercials, and my calculations, a combination of regeneration creams, multi vitamins, Ageless Male products, bottled water from secret Rocky Mountain springs (probably tap water), Texas Super Food, jellyfish gel for the brain, Bowflex machines and yogurt will keep us from growing old and dying!

At least, that's the way I understand it, which doesn't really matter, because I ain't doin' any of that stuff, anyway!

Don't let my cavalier attitude dissuade you from taking care of yourselves, folks. I just have my own way of living forever.