The Joy Of Old Age...For Dummies

What? There's actually a REAL book  on this?

The pink on purple lettering that I chose for today is very warming and gregarious to me. That's if lettering can be gregarious.

I think I did so, because it's Thursday, and for some inexplicable reason I have always liked Thurday. In addition, the St. Louis Cardinals bazeball team play their first game of the PLAYOFF'S today!! I know that many of you, especially you readers from far flung places, don't give a whit about bazeball...so that's all I'm sayin' about that.

It's also been prophesied by the weather prophets, that today will be a nice, cool, Autumn-like day. In the 60's here in central Illinois, or in the 15.5556's if we were in Australia.Yes, I know that tremendously beauteous weather is a harbinger (a person or thing that announces, or signals the approach of another) of nasty, cold, bitter winter!!

Which brings us to the "winter of our life." The "golden years." "Our last gasp." "The prelude to our finale." "One foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel."

When I was a young hippy, I always enjoyed talking to very old folks, because it was like they were constantly stoned, like I was.

They would lose their train of thought, like me. Told slow, mellow stories, like me. Would fall asleep mid conversation, like me. Loved all of my favorite movies, like Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, Rebecca, Citizen Kane...and they didn't give a darn about what people thought about them.

At that point in my life, I would talk to myself and say, "Danny...do you think you'll be the kind of cool, old guy that you now admire, some day?" Then I would answer, "probably not, Danny. In fact, I doubt you'll make it to old age!" Then, I'd answer back, "Wow, what a negative thing to say to me!" I would respond with, "listen, Danny...if you don't straighten up and fly right, you'll never make it to 29!! Be honest with yourself, Dan'l Boone!!" (That's what I called myself at times)

Anyway, I'm old now, and I know the answer. Am I a cool, admirable old guy? NO! Kinda cranky, with brief glimpses of humor. 

However, I do not need drugs to feel mellow, or space out, or babble on, or get the munchies, or enjoy ridiculous old movies from the twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties, or fall asleep...ANYWHERE, or NOT get easily embarrassed by the increasingly embarrassing things I do.

So you now ask, "Dan'l Boone, "what about the wisdom, discernment, common sense, and maturity that comes with old age?"

Uh, wuh-wuh- zat? I'll get back with ya tomorrow. I got somethin' to watch!