Thursday, January 30, 2020

Superbowl Sunday Suggestions

Don't freak out! I can say Superbowl, because I'm not selling anything. At least, I THINK so. It really makes no difference, because I ain't got any money to give them in a lawsuit anyway!

Do you have Superbowl traditions? Are they getting a bit stale, outdated and tired?

Come on! How many Superbowl Sunday's have you had chips and dip? A LOT, I would guess.

Same with beer, nachos, Jack Daniels, pretzels, wearing your teams jerseys and caps, and friendly betting on the game, right?

Why not change it up a bit, this year! It's 2020! Isn't it about time we break free of the old, worn out traditions, and begin brand new ones? Sure it is!!!

This is very symbolic, folks!

Just a few suggestions to spice up your Superbowl party this year...

1. Install sturdy metal bars across the ceiling and have everybody hang by their legs, upside down and watch the big game like a bunch of bats. This may SEEM like a nutty idea, but your video of this activity will go VIRAL, for sure!!

2. Have exotic snacks, like toasted Cheerios and prunes, white bread with mustard and peanut butter, chicken livers floating in Pepsi, or even

Pâté de Foie Gras, with FAUX fattened duck or goose. (we don't want PETA breathing down our necks, do we?)

3. Wear Game Of Thrones costumes and have awesome (non-lethal) battles whenever a touchdown is made. If someone is accidentally injured, change into doctor's outfits, bring out a stretcher, and run down the street with the stretcher to the nearest hospital, where you'll remember you left the injured victim at home!

4. Drink unique beverages, like grog, absinthe, theobroma, ninkasi beer, bat milk, or frog pee pee. (Warning: psychedelic effects may occur with the frog pee pee)

5. Choreograph a dance routine to perform when there's a foul call. Doing this will not, necessarily, make the call go YOUR way, but the down time will be more fun!

Here are a few dance routine examples for ya!

6. Have your party participants rate the Superbowl commercials on a scale of one to 179. Have each member of your Superbowl party scratch out their personal rating for each commercial on a scrap of paper. After the game, place the scraps of paper in an empty, green absinthe bottle, go down to the nearest river (the Illinois River would be the nearest for me), throw the bottle in the river, let the drunkest individual dive into the river and retrieve the bottle, take it to the nearest airport, try to get it through security where you'll attempt to put it on a plane to Morocco, if you get that far, most likely, your whole Superbowl party attendees will be in jail by now, and the police have impounded the illegally imported absinthe bottle, and will read your ratings for the commercials, and are mad that they missed the Superbowl because they were on duty!

https://www.sciencehistory.org/distillations/the-devil-in-a-little-green-bottle-a-history-of-absinthe

Hey! Share some of your Superbowl traditions...or tell us what NEW traditions you'll be starting this year! Go ahead! It will be fun! We accept ALL comments! Feel free to put your two cents in the penny pile!